Topic for the grown folk: Keeping the peace in your household

[Schmoove]

real talk.

just do what she says and do what u want on the low.

and make sure u got ur responsibilities split the way you like it. bills, chores, etc.

when its ur wife and u wanna keep her u gotta do what she says.

wife's the boss

get rid of the ego too. keep that for when u out with ur boys or on the-coli.

 

[bangedher_wholesquad]

unless u wanna argue every night. then don't follow what i say.

 

[Captain Crunch]

You share that household

 

[Sierra Mist]

Pick someone who I actually get along with.

 

[theGoldmangod]

Pick and choose when to argue and when to not. You have to choose your battles wisely. If she get mad bc I forgot to pick up some shyt at the store, I'm not about to go back and forth with her on some "well why the fukk didn't you do it then" shyt. I just say my bad, tell a joke and move on. nikkas get in trouble when they continuously engage just to not be wrong.

But my wife is honestly cool as hell so I don't really need to hold myself from engaging often.

 

[nene1985]

Keep extra people out of our business and out of the home. The more people in your stuff the more mess that can be started. Keep it between the two of you.

 

[shopthatwrecks]

Ladies and Brethren in marriages or serious relationships, I have a question.

What are some things you do to keep the peace in your household or relationship? What do you do to minimize or squash disagreements and/or arguments?

let her know from the jump u aint with that chatter n petty gossippin shyt ...dont give a damn about ya friends issues...she got a problem go over there be friends..n pow wow

leave that bullshyt at her house...if u got questions n u already know ya opinion is set ...u kno u not gone like wha i say....so go with ya opinion

been with tthe same chick for 7yrs...n i let her know that shyt from the joint..we aint never had a issue..

 

[its_normal]

Just this weekend I've realized a calm authoritative tone can control my womans emotions better than anything. She told me I made her feel like a child when I spoke to her like that but it squashed her every time she tried to talk up her mouth.

 

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

dont try to project your logic outside of advice when she asks for it. thats all i got

 

[Heafcliffe]

Keep extra people out of our business and out of the home. The more people in your stuff the more mess that can be started. Keep it between the two of you.

This! As I prepare to take that trek down the aisle in Oct, my brother and I was having a grown man convo one day and this was the BIGGEST, MOST IMPORTANT thing he said about being marriage.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

My pops always told me just nod and say ok, then do whatever it was you were doing anyway. Two adults living together will clash from time to time. Women are emotional so they always catch feelings and have a problem defusing the situation. As a man you should be able to take control and end the argument before it gets out of hand.

 

[mbewane]

This very good friend of mine who was in a serious relationship asked his uncle advice because they were always arguing and he asked "Do you want to be with her?" He said "Yeah", so he said "Then she's right".

He applied that policy, had a couple of good years with her while boning on the side, and when the drama came back he just dumped her

 

[Mr Uncle Leroy]

separate wings in same home
outsource the day to day things
personal assistant

 

[DaPresident]

-set the tone early... Make sure it's known u won't stand for bs, but u won't be giving any either...

-be FRIENDS with ya chick. I know u tough guys on here will disagree, but I'm friends with my girl and I was before we got into our relationship. It makes it easier to talk to her and get along with her

-admit when you're wrong. Like be a man, step up when needed. Understand that at times you'll have to make sacrifices and do things you don't want (w/o complaining) hopefully she'll see you stepping up and she'll in turn, step her game up. (if she mature)


These things have helped in my relationship. We got our good days and bad, like anybody else. But honestly I couldn't imagine spending time with anybody else. Thinking about that ring brehs but ima give it a lil while

 

[Carolina Slim]

Pick and choose when to argue and when to not. You have to choose your battles wisely. If she get mad bc I forgot to pick up some shyt at the store, I'm not about to go back and forth with her on some "well why the fukk didn't you do it then" shyt. I just say my bad, tell a joke and move on. nikkas get in trouble when they continuously engage just to not be wrong.

But my wife is honestly cool as hell so I don't really need to hold myself from engaging often.

THIS. This also lets them know low key that when you DO choose to go to battle, that it's more than likely case where she now knows that she . If you constantly going to war, your words lose effect over time cause you always going the rah-rah route.

My wife is cool, too, but every now and then I gotta go ahead and get buck and let her know that I ain't playing. She's Puerto Rican, and it seems like they need that in their lives for some reason. It seems like everything can be cool for a good while, and she'll come at me about something that I know SHE KNOWS is stupid. Then I'll give her the face like "you bored? you wanna start an argument over THIS?"

Keep extra people out of our business and out of the home. The more people in your stuff the more mess that can be started. Keep it between the two of you.

This! As I prepare to take that trek down the aisle in Oct, my brother and I was having a grown man convo one day and this was the BIGGEST, MOST IMPORTANT thing he said about being marriage.

THIS was the biggest problem we faced when we got married. She came from a family that all lived within like a ten block radius. So it was nothing to them to have a bunch of people in their house. I didn't come from that. So we'd come home from work, and I'm thinking we gonna chill, and she got her sister and cousins wanting to come over, and I'm like . I told her if she wanna be around them, go to their house, or at least do it when I ain't home. I'm in my house trying to , and I got a house full of women running their mouth. We got it addressed. That's partly the reason why we moved here after most of them moved to Florida. Now we never have to worry about the "drop by" again.

Now, her mother can't live by herself, so she'll split time between our house and her sister's house in Florida. I had to set some guidelines and parameters then. Again, my wife comes from a family where everybody is around and all in each other's business. I'm not from that. My pops taught me to keep my business to myself. So my wife might want to discuss something with me, and my mother in law will be around like , and I'll be like "come holla at me upstairs". She knows now not to discuss anything with me in front of them; I don't care if it's just us talking about where we going to dinner next week. I hate having a conversation with HER, and she got her unit, all ears, listening to our conversation. She would be like "but we not talking about anything deep or personal", and I'm like "I don't care it's just the principal of it. Why you gotta be all in my convo? Watch the TV or something. Mind ya business"