Tips for all the coli brehs visiting NYC

[Remote]

1. Don’t come here.

That’s the first and last tip.

You don’t know how to swipe a metro card. Or use Omny.

You somehow can’t understand that higher street number means uptown. Lower street number means downtown.

You stand in the middle of the sidewalk looking up at buildings. Or even worse, you waddle. So when people are walking behind you trying to pass your slow goofy ass, we don’t know what the fukk you’re doing. Are you turning left or right? Here’s what you do. Turn around. Get back on the plane. And fukk off to wherever you came from.

I’m sick of all of these goddamn tourists.

 

[Rev Leon Lonnie Love]

 

[Regular Developer]

I actually enjoy that coli brehs and brehettes get to come and visit NYC and explore. They don't bother me at all. I say have a blast

*Looks out window at NYC from across the hudson sippin on a cup of coffee*

 

[Michael's Black Son]

We all full.

Go to Houston or Miami

 

[Collateral]

Sounds like a Manhattan problem

 

[Manolo]

I linked this one girl from LA during her first time here (she said she’d been here before though) and she was shocked there were “ACs hanging out the window”

 

[doublecheese]

you can use apple pay at the subway turnstiles now

 

[Digital Omen]

1. Don’t come here.

That’s the first and last tip.

You don’t know how to swipe a metro card. Or use Omny.

You somehow can’t understand that higher street number means uptown. Lower street number means downtown.

You stand in the middle of the sidewalk looking up at buildings. Or even worse, you waddle. So when people are walking behind you trying to pass your slow goofy ass, we don’t know what the fukk you’re doing. Are you turning left or right? Here’s what you do. Turn around. Get back on the plane. And fukk off to wherever you came from.

I’m sick of all of these goddamn tourists.

Same energy applies to all the New Yorkers coming down to Miami:

1. Don't come here

You don't know how to drive, or the shortcuts to avoid the Palmetto, 836, and 95

You somehow can't understand our simple grid. Dade county is divided into 4 quadrants (SE, SW, NE, and NW). Avenues run North-South, streets East-West. Here's the one address you should remember: 2100 NW 42nd Ave.

We don't have mass transit, our roads flood after three rain drops, no rats the size of little bow wow, ref Latinas don't like you, your feet will be funkier than an old hoe's p*ssy if you insist on rocking Timbs in 90 degree heat and humidity, and a Yankees cap makes you a target for Zoe's and other Dade county goons. So here's what you do: turn around. Get back on the plane. And fukk off back to JFK or LGA.

I'm sick of all these goddamn New Yorkers

 

[Armchair Militant]

We all full.

Go to Houston or Miami

Miami is full as well. I nominate Atlanta.

 

[boriquaking]

I actually enjoy that coli brehs and brehettes get to come and visit NYC and explore. They don't bother me at all. I say have a blast

*Looks out window at NYC from across the hudson sippin on a cup of coffee*

Weehawken?

 

[Deltron]

Hey...I knew how to use the metro card

Its like BART in the bay area

 

[315]

Was there last month and did all these things

 

[PharaohAtem]

To all Coli posters that are planning on visiting NYC, I heard Brownsville is great this time of year

 

[CashmereThoughts]

I linked this one girl from LA during her first time here (she said she’d been here before though) and she was shocked there were “ACs hanging out the window”

They got window ACs in Los Angeles TF is she talking about

 

[The BasedFather]

I’ll come to NY if I want and make it mine

I’ll waddle through the streets and stop to take pictures. I’ll be amazed at the skyscrapers and at all the people. I am NY


Nah, much love from Detroit. I plan on visiting this summer