i'm not gonna tell you to do it or not do it. that's on you. pain is relative and i don't know how that pain and sadness feels in your mind. what i will tell you is to try to get some perspective before you make a decision. like plenty of other people said in this thread death is permanent, your feelings and problems are temporary. you might feel like you're powerless and that you're stuck with the cards you were dealt but trust me, you have way more power than that. you might just need to reconnect with that power. you have the power to think whatever the fukk you want. the power to choose to do whatever you want to do. but you also can have the power to feel whatever you want to feel and focus on the thoughts and feelings you want to focus on. it's a double edged sword. if you choose to hold on to sadness and anger then it leads to depression. when you feel anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, etc you can hold on to it and let it poison you from within. or you can actually choose to feel it for a moment, let it pass through you and let it go.
i'm not your father or any authority in your life so even if i tell you not to do it, it might not hold any weight to you. I hope you won't commit that and if you choose not to because you realize there's still other options to make the pain stop, then the next step is to figure out a plan to change what you don't like about your life. maybe you need to talk to a professional, maybe a religious counselor if you're religious, maybe a loved one you trust, maybe a combination. but when you choose people to talk, always remember some people might help you, some people might not, some people will do what they can to help but it's all up to you. the power is in your hands breh, whatever you choose to do with it is up to you. good luck and God bless.
i'm not your father or any authority in your life so even if i tell you not to do it, it might not hold any weight to you. I hope you won't commit that and if you choose not to because you realize there's still other options to make the pain stop, then the next step is to figure out a plan to change what you don't like about your life. maybe you need to talk to a professional, maybe a religious counselor if you're religious, maybe a loved one you trust, maybe a combination. but when you choose people to talk, always remember some people might help you, some people might not, some people will do what they can to help but it's all up to you. the power is in your hands breh, whatever you choose to do with it is up to you. good luck and God bless.
. That's money you don't have to spend to "show your love." Lot's of people spend a bunch of money on a Valentine's date and only end up with a lame hug and blue balls. 
TrapGod don't like ugly