I am not going to hide my deeper feelings, but depression slightly stroking my temple. It is constantly making me think that my own desires of being a writer is in vain, while my old dreams should be in place. The eternal battle between knowing my worth and selling myself short is raging on, no sight of a victor as the fight is too close to call. The question is what I am going to do about this problem at hand. I have the solution that could be beneficial for not only me, but for you as well struggling with such a woe…find a private space.
Really, look for a place in your mind where you feel like home. You ever see those YouTube videos or documentaries of prisoners making the most of their time by creating a cuisine or a work of art? You should try to come up with a way to make your sinking place a worthwhile event for the ages. Maybe indulged in your common chores but add a hint of spice to the affairs. Whatever it takes, you are doing it to avoid a boiling point that will have consequences that you will soon regret.
This week, I did something that my wife, my son, and my good conscience begged me to do…I lived for myself. I put the pressure of wanting to chase a dream that will eventually come true on its own time, by playing video games and doing some heavy reading. I caught up with the podcast backlog that I been so longing to accomplished in the process of my mental joy. It seems like typical fun duties, but to avoid a deep sink of depression, I look at these hobbies as responsible duties to keep my mind from exploring dangerous terrain.
Some people exercise the pain again, party their anger away, and leave that invisible friend called depression on dial tone, while they play a mobile game on their phones, yet these duties are a way of escaping into a bunker of peace. Treat these precious moments as a temple from the outside world.
Like a church without the slightest bit of judgement and proper dress code.
Like the origins of building a puzzle and you are working on the end pieces.
Whatever it takes to find a hint of joy in the process of growth, be on your A game to seek refuge from the ills of your own world. Sadly, in the process of entering and finding peace in your refuge, there will be some side effects such as:
- Isolation
- Lack of communication
- Strange looks
- Individuals and loved ones questioning your whereabouts.
Despite these side effects coming into place, you have one life to live and one bit of sanity to value throughout your living conditionings. While folks will question your stance, you must focus on yourself or else you will lose yourself in despair. At the end of the day, we all need that alone time so embrace your time in the bunker and remember that this bunker is designed for one thing only…to avoid self-destruction and bring peace in your chaotic life….
Was in a weird dark content place this week, so I had to go into a private bunker of the mind and made this blog...hopefully it'll reach some of yall but just understand that time wasted is time that needed to be used for yourself. The mind is all you have and taking time to build up yourself is of the essence:
