What do you call wrapping yourself in a blanket, alone in the dark, in total silence with the humming of the ps4 on stand by, feelings ranging from total calm, emotional pain, loneliness, anger, and confusion, not wanting to think about tomorrow or yesterday, and knowing that nobody aside from yourself has a clue what you're doing or experiencing and you don't want them to know because of the embarrassment and shame but you wish someone around you did and understood why you were hiding yourself away from the world, only to go outside and pretend like you are okay so nobody knows though you fear they do?
Something I'm all too familiar with. I normally wouldn't say anything about it but I would like to let other people know so I get an understanding why I'm doing this or at least feel like I'm not alone or crazy.

there's nothing wrong with me either but I don't feel okay.