So I went to someone's church yesterday and I have no intentions on ever going back. It was a morning of foolishness. It started at 10 and I was out of there at 10:45am...right after the "bishop" started laying hands on people talking about he is going to take away their pain and ailments. I couldn't.
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Almost had a speeding ticket this weekend, got pulled over and the cop straight up let me n my brehs go. He asked for all of our licenses, I handed mine over and he came back n said aight have a good one I'll let yall off with a warningI just caught a speeding ticket, 98 in a 70.
Cop- Do you know how fast you were going?
Me- Not really, I was just kind of going with the flow of traffic.
Cop-You were setting the flow of traffic, and doing a damn good job
Me- I'm sorry... I have a family emergency...
Cop-Hand me your license
Me-.....It's in my center console.
Cop- Okay, give it to me.
Me-Okay, I'm going to reach for it right now, it's in my center console.
Cop-
Me-*gets license and hands it to him*
Cop-
Me- Whew, my heart is pumping hard, that was scary.
Cop- *walks to his car, writes the ticket and comes back* Okay grab your license off the clipboard.
Me-... Okay, I'm about to grab it...
Cop- *snatches the license and drops it in my lap* Here sign this.
Me-...
Cop- what's the problem now?
Me-.... I need to read this before I sign.... you never know nowadays.
Cop- *rips the ticket off the clipboard and drops it my lap*
Me-...Thank you. *stares at paper for a minute, not reading*
Cop-
Me-..*signs*
Cop- Your court date is June 10th, I'll be there.
Me-...Do y'all usually do that?
Cop- No.
Me-
Cop- You're free to go.
Me-
My mom told me she was gonna pray for me that day because she "knows young men dont be living right nowadays" and it paid off
This is way I'm gonna have a hell of a time finding an "open minded" woman. I'm assertive, and can be a very candid person so I'd be up in the church like
My cousin invited me to his church and it's near my house so I may try that for Easter. My aunt said it was a "white persons" church so I'll be in and out in an hour. I don't really mind church but I can't stand foolishness. Then you have to touch your neighbor and all that shyt. I don't want anyone touching me LMAO!!This is way I'm gonna have a hell of a time finding an "open minded" woman. I'm assertive, and can be a very candid person so I'd be up in the church like
"Look at your neighbor and give them a hug!"
"Turn to the person next to you and tell them 'I got GAWD in me!'"
LMMFAO!! My one neighbor smelled like pee and I wanted to tell him something totally different than what the pastor asked me to."Look at your neighbor and give them a hug!"
"Turn to the person next to you and tell them 'I got GAWD in me!'"
whenever the pastor say turn to your neighbor I look at my phone so people know I'm not trying to be bothered. Black churches be so extra, why can't they just get to the sermon without all the theatrics 
My pops never went to church with us (agnostic) but my mom always took us.
One thing I never liked was it always felt as if someone was judging you. Don't let someone come to church late. The entire congregation will stare til you have a seat. Plus, giving up offering 3+ times is overkill.
Mom used to take us to the white church up the street for Christmas Eve. That wasn't any better.
One thing I never liked was it always felt as if someone was judging you. Don't let someone come to church late. The entire congregation will stare til you have a seat. Plus, giving up offering 3+ times is overkill.
Mom used to take us to the white church up the street for Christmas Eve. That wasn't any better.
Man makes the money, money dont make the fukkin man 
Let me tell you how they played with my emotions though. The bishop is up there "bishoping" then he goes "I'll tell you this...this church is going to be debt free by the end of the year". So you know me, I'm all hype like well at least their finances are straight. Then this mofo goes "I'm not talking about finances, I mean spiritually debt free". I almost did the
right there in the damn pew.
Let me tell you how they played with my emotions though. The bishop is up there "bishoping" then he goes "I'll tell you this...this church is going to be debt free by the end of the year". So you know me, I'm all hype like well at least their finances are straight. Then this mofo goes "I'm not talking about finances, I mean spiritually debt free". I almost did the
dora_da_destroyer
Master Baker
talking football with your male co-workers appreciation...the little things that might help you climb that corporate ladder 
Let me tell you how they played with my emotions though. The bishop is up there "bishoping" then he goes "I'll tell you this...this church is going to be debt free by the end of the year". So you know me, I'm all hype like well at least their finances are straight. Then this mofo goes "I'm not talking about finances, I mean spiritually debt free". I almost did the
I'd be up there lookin at dude like
TheDragon23
Banned
I feel like my life is on pause right now.
ive been going to church somewhat regularly lately, but no way in hell will i be in anyones easter service... Not trying to be packed in with all the nikkas who aint came since last easter.
Jesus know my heart