While deep down struggling with high anxiety from failure like my back is against the wall.

Praying for a better outcome. How come i can pray for the success of others and it come into fruition but when i pray for myself even for the most basic shıt, it's on blank ears and gets completely ignored and replaced with more failure. Just disappointment after disappointment and i have to pretend to smile. I gotta keep smiling.

My wife keeps telling me everything will be ok. She has my back but internally I'm in shambles.
But apart of me wants to give everything away and give up. I have young ones (nephews and nieces) that look up to me for some reason. I'm gonna keep fighting.