Here this right. Apparently im comfortable with you guys enough to open up some of "my heart" to you guys BUT i have a hard time doing that in real life from being so guarded. Honestly, im really weary of letting new people or people into my life and very guarded with people getting close to me regardless. Im tired of opening up to people only to be hurt or rejected. It weirds me out in real life when people actually like me.
dead serious. Im used to receiving hate and know what it is to have someone hate me or to have people hate me. I wish for those who actually like me to let me know though. Dont want to admit it but being appreciated does matter to me. I try to be nice even though I am far from the most friendliest guy. Thats why I count myself out when it comes to shyt like dating. Im comfortable being single and alone. The idea of a relationship makes me feel mixed emotions but i feel that being in one with someone who wants to be in one with me thats actually willing to put in the damn energy where i can be challenged as well as me challenging someone else in order to grow. I guess im frustrated that im single and dont want to be. At the same time, i dont want to be with just anybody and want them to understand me for real
I feel like theres nobody out there that understands me on some fukking unique shyt because i cant seem to find anybody who has figured me out yet.
thats the truth. The right person will pull my card if Im lying. The right person would pull up on me and call me out on this post but nobody that knows me personally knows im on the coli.
i kind of wish i was exposed but the people in offline in real life dont check for me like that.
I usually delete my posts on some paranoia shyt but i think ill leave this shyt up since i know nobody i know is going to read this shyt.