Sorry to hear about your friend, your wallet and previous escape spot.
Don't be so hard on yourself in the aftermath. Yes, you may have did/said things you regret, but you're still learning how to deal with your issues and emotions effectively and unfortunately it's trial and error. For example, I received a string of job rejections early last week, so I spent the better part of a day deleting all my job search profiles Even tanked my LinkedIn and sent nasty replies to every rejection email. Yeah it was petty, probably a horrible ass idea in hindsight but seemed like the right thing to do at the time.![]()
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I just hate the feelings of boredom