Death doesn’t bother me what does bother me is what surrounds it.
A man lives to his late 60s, leaving all that he carefully saved up from working a mundane job driving buses behind, a fractured and tenuous relationship with his children unresolved, a grieving widow whom to you were the only man she ever knew for over 40 years. Are these not incredible failings when your life could’ve easily been preserved? Leaving behind a divided home, bitter children and wealth that will be readily devoured by these same children.
This provokes the realization I came to a long time ago that I am nothing in the grand scheme of things, my time here is short, a veritable second in time...I’ve sampled that which was sweet and that which was bitter, I’ve fallen to unimaginable depths and have risen to the highest peaks, I have begged for bread and I have ordered the rare vintage, I have violently plundered a man’s treasures and I have laid out a great offering to the poor. And for all of this, the sum of my life thus far..the storm of my life, it means nothing. But I am not saddened by this because I’ve realized that living is not just breathing, living is not just what your eat, living is not what car you drive, living is not about how much you can spend.
Life is about living for others, living for something that is greater than what your senses can recognize, it’s about having a deep peace and showing love towards your brothers and sisters, striving with them in harmony. It’s about being fair and just, it’s about being righteous. I died once to live again, I made a commitment to not continue as I did before..I will not treat my life cheaply chasing after things that will not preserve me in the end, to end up being forgotten in time by man and God.
