I want to kill myself because I've realized when you reached even a lower tier of enlightenment people think you're crazy when you're really tryin get them their self worth/value and they demonize like you're the one actively finessing them and fukking them. I give up.
Stop being weak.
Knowledge and truth is not for weak, it's not even for the world but it's for those who want to reform themselves into bodies of light. You think these paths treaded are easy? It's not, it's a sacrifice and you will endure pain..you will suffer humiliation, you will have people turn against you, you will attract things that will invade your dreams and cloud your mind the deeper you go but there's power and honor beyond the obstacles and passed trials.
Why are you trying to save dead men? The dead don't hear, they don't see and they don't speak even though they breath..they are not your people, you're a newborn to the truth. You're not dead. The dead and the those who live cannot coexist. Speak what must be spoken and if they don't hear you, so be it. We're beyond the time to save people..a lot of people are going to die as they must and we're no missionaries as declared.
If you're too handicapped to bear the burden then close your eyes, recant and go back to living your life like the rest of the herds, I would not fault you..sometimes I wish I didn't know as much as I do, I rather be ignorant and have my family than be ostracized and alone but I know I have a greater responsibility that outweighs my personal needs. Make a decision. Live free or live..stop talking about death because she does not want you.