Essential The Locker Room's Random Thoughts

[Pazzy]

Yawn

 

[BigMan]

I love reading shyt like this. The true definition of smart dumb people. I find it funny the person who spent most if not their entire life in the suburbs, has money or financially well parents and etc, able to go to college and get whatever degree would in their right mind want to move to somewhere like bed sty or Bushwick for that matter where they would wanna be overcharged for rent and a high cost of living. In this case, you have some musician actually wanting to move to Brooklyn. Why? They are even suggesting having roommates in an apartment. HELL NO.

If you're going to move to Brooklyn or Manhattan or any city for that matter from the suburbs and you have money, make sure your ass can afford your own apartment without needing a roommate. If you're going to have a roommate, make sure it's a family member that you know for real and not some random stranger from Craigslist. Otherwise you're playing yourself. I really don't see the hype of Brooklyn nowadays. It's a former shadow of itself. Almost everything that was there that made brooklyn the shyt or unique has disappeared. Fulton street used to be the place to shop like 15 years ago and now it's gone. There's nothing unique about new York anymore that you can't find outside of there.

Moving to New York with out a roommate is just not realistic

 

[The M.I.C.]

Seek forgiveness while it can be still found before my eyes turn red with blood and I recognize you no more.

 

[86\*/98]

I had my square ass on the blade tonight poping at whores just for shyts and giggles. Those bytches pulled a Houdini on me everytime I started popping.

 

[SemiEnlightenedBum]

I swear to God if I don't make it happen in six months I'm killing myself. I cannot do this anymore. I just want to be alone, completely, or dead. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to hard as a motherfukker for six months and if shyt isn't kosher I'm riding my bike into oncoming traffic on 580.

I'm tired of feeling like shyt. I'm tired of people making me feel so weird when all I try to do is be positive. I'm tired of feeling like this and having to somehow blame myself for everything. I'm tired of being told how I feel is inappropriate and everybody's feelings are more important than mine. I'm tired of having to suck it up, while others are not expected to do the same. I'm tired of being treated like a criminal when all I do is work hard and contribute to my community.

I can't do this anymore, I really can't. 21 years of this is too much man. I can't anymore. I try to talk to people about my feelings and they're on their fukking phone, or I get the yeah yeah yeah bullshyt. When I ask for help I get lectures about how I fukked up. When I accomplish something I'm proud of I get called arrogant. Other people get celebrated. I get it, I'm not allowed to be happy or have self esteem.

This is going to be a long night. That part that hurts the most is knowing I have all the tools. I could OD, I could blow my brains out, I could do all of this right now. And it'd be a waste of all the work I've done to feel like normal or valuable. So I don't, but this feelings is a bit much to bare. The older I get, when it comes around, it comes around hard.

I can't tell a therapist because they'll lock my ass up for talking like this. I can't write the shyt down on paper because someone will read it and think I'm crazy. So I put here because writing this shyt out makes me feel better.

Every keystroke is a release of pressure. I've been seeing some demonic shyt lately. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I got to get these demons off me man.


The enemy within is the hardest to defeat. But I'm done fighting. I have no fight left in me, I am fukking exhausted. I'm tired of always having to forgive and deal with the racism, the discrimination, the unfair treatment, the hatred. 21 years of it and I've had enough of feeling like this everyday. Anytime I try to feel good about myself I'm told it's not okay.

So either I go completely rogue and knock it out in six months to where I'm on my own entirely, or I'm closing the chapter on this book. I've been treated as if I'm not allowed to occupy Earth I'll just leave. See everyone in hell.

Sometimes I wish dude would have been man enough to kill me. But he was too p*ssy and I beat his ass. I should have let him stab me to death. I should have let dude burn me alive. I could have been out this bytch a while ago without it looking like what it is. nikkas can't shoot straight. I didn't even move. I ain't scared to die. He just missed, and I fukked him up too.

I wish I OD'd all those nights I tried but my cardiovascular system is soccer strong. I feel like I'm supposed to be alive to do something. God has given me multiple chances. But I don't know anymore. This feeling is terrible. I hope God is with me because I need something right now.

Anything, as long as it's real. Please, please, please let me get a sign. I've never needed anything more in my life.

it's coming ahk,this eye promise you..i've gotten into this same mindstate many of times in my longer existence then yours,if you can calm/harness the mental storm(the left brain is not your friend brug,tis good for quick decisions,aka the fight or flight reaction that you obviously experienced in your physical battles,but it can overshoot different brain chemicals and have you in the position you are,you have to learn to let your right,more creative and subconscious control your existence,reality is like a fiddduckin canvas painting in that way,your right brain wants to draw your existence,double entendre,your left brain will turn that against you if tis too strong, it wants everything in that same time capsule,fast,fast,fast,snap fingers,snap fingers,snap fingers..get it?

you have to learn meditation bruh,this is how you transform&transfer control to the right relaxed brain, this side of the mind/brain moves slower and lets the 'god'/creative mind take control,that shyt is imperative bruh,or if your mind moves too fast for meditation initially find something artistic/relaxing you like to do and let conscious 'time' just tick by,you'll realize time is just a man made construction and doesn't exist..trust me if i didn't learn this shyt i wouldn't be here typing this shyt to you right now, i'd be a corpse..you can cheat to bruh,there are no rules,smoke some trees,have a libation,whatever your vice is,i used to go to the beach with a blunt&a 40 and just meditate&sun gaze and learned to count breaths,just chill,and let the hate/anger/suicidal thoughts melt into a Frisco wind breeze..some fukkin projects hood shamanism bruh...

580,you in the Yay Aerial bruhdeini..? eye reside in the projects of Frisco, come holla at your guala and see how my life is,you won't feel so bad when you see the pain/fukk shyt/conditions i live under..if eye can do it,literally,ANYONE can,i men i'm high/zoned right now,barely slept the last two nights,yet i still keep the fidduckin ball bouncing somehow..

if you need me to elaborate,or just need to vent/a soul to holla at don't fret young stunna,tis what i'm here on this Earth for,i'm a hood shaman/martyr that's all,nothing greater then that,but is there anything greater then that..?

anyways,om mani padme hume my dude..

 

[Princess Coco]

 

[Princess Coco]

 

[DCSpinerz]

I love breakfast.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

it's coming ahk,this eye promise you..i've gotten into this same mindstate many of times in my longer existence then yours,if you can calm/harness the mental storm(the left brain is not your friend brug,tis good for quick decisions,aka the fight or flight reaction that you obviously experienced in your physical battles,but it can overshoot different brain chemicals and have you in the position you are,you have to learn to let your right,more creative and subconscious control your existence,reality is like a fiddduckin canvas painting in that way,your right brain wants to draw your existence,double entendre,your left brain will turn that against you if tis too strong, it wants everything in that same time capsule,fast,fast,fast,snap fingers,snap fingers,snap fingers..get it?

you have to learn meditation bruh,this is how you transform&transfer control to the right relaxed brain, this side of the mind/brain moves slower and lets the 'god'/creative mind take control,that shyt is imperative bruh,or if your mind moves too fast for meditation initially find something artistic/relaxing you like to do and let conscious 'time' just tick by,you'll realize time is just a man made construction and doesn't exist..trust me if i didn't learn this shyt i wouldn't be here typing this shyt to you right now, i'd be a corpse..you can cheat to bruh,there are no rules,smoke some trees,have a libation,whatever your vice is,i used to go to the beach with a blunt&a 40 and just meditate&sun gaze and learned to count breaths,just chill,and let the hate/anger/suicidal thoughts melt into a Frisco wind breeze..some fukkin projects hood shamanism bruh...

580,you in the Yay Aerial bruhdeini..? eye reside in the projects of Frisco, come holla at your guala and see how my life is,you won't feel so bad when you see the pain/fukk shyt/conditions i live under..if eye can do it,literally,ANYONE can,i men i'm high/zoned right now,barely slept the last two nights,yet i still keep the fidduckin ball bouncing somehow..

if you need me to elaborate,or just need to vent/a soul to holla at don't fret young stunna,tis what i'm here on this Earth for,i'm a hood shaman/martyr that's all,nothing greater then that,but is there anything greater then that..?

anyways,om mani padme hume my dude..

I really appreciate you big bro. For real. You might have saved my life. I haven't slept all night. I got off work at 11pm and I've been sitting in the same position in my bed since then just talking myself down. It's 720am now. I'm a lot calmer now. I'm sorting through my feelings. You're right my mind starts racing and it takes days to slow down. Sometimes weeks. I'm a lot calmer now. I practice meditation daily, but some thoughts I have have so much energy behind them I can't channel it all through meditation and it explodes.

 

[SemiEnlightenedBum]

I really appreciate you big bro. For real. You might have saved my life. I haven't slept all night. I got off work at 11pm and I've been sitting in the same position in my bed since then just talking myself down. It's 720am now. I'm a lot calmer now. I'm sorting through my feelings. You're right my mind starts racing and it takes days to slow down. Sometimes weeks. I'm a lot calmer now. I practice meditation daily, but some thoughts I have have so much energy behind them I can't channel it all through meditation and it explodes.

S'all good my YG,what i'm literally here for,you're so fiddduckin young my bruh,to give up at that age would be horrendous,you got so much potential that hasn't been tapped into,you may not een realize you have it NOW,but there's something in your soul that brought you back to walk this walk with us bruhdeini,you just gotta keep digging and digging,you'll find it..

(no homillz,ha)

 

[Morose Polymath]

@Morose Polymath

Whatever happened to the homie @Millions ?

we dont know what happen to the young lord breh.... we think he might of got jammed up with the law.... may be on of the brehettes he talked to from here may know... but he disappeared approx. a year ago :pantherscry:

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

I really appreciate you big bro. For real. You might have saved my life. I haven't slept all night. I got off work at 11pm and I've been sitting in the same position in my bed since then just talking myself down. It's 720am now. I'm a lot calmer now. I'm sorting through my feelings. You're right my mind starts racing and it takes days to slow down. Sometimes weeks. I'm a lot calmer now. I practice meditation daily, but some thoughts I have have so much energy behind them I can't channel it all through meditation and it explodes.

I've had the same thing happen to me. Get a drawing book and some pencils and sketch man. Or even if it's a keyboard sit at that for a while and just play whatever. You gotta have an emotional outlet

 

[Pazzy]

Moving to New York with out a roommate is just not realistic

If that's the case, then all these young people graduating from college or renters moving into NYC and allowing themselves to get robbed need to take a stand against these landlords, real estate developers and government officials for real responsible for that bullshyt. Take them to court or do whatever to make those price adjustments.

I find it hilarious how NYC is full of "activists" or people ready to rally over social justice issues. Last year, there was like thousands and hundreds of thousands rallying over Donald Trump becoming president and Black Lives Matter and etc. These very same people are paying high rent or can't even stand up to their landlord that is robbing them for their money to be roomed up somewhere with 2, 3 or more people. That's one reason why I couldn't even take most of those people seriously in terms of activism or social issues. They want to rally about issues going on in the world but they are too scared to stand up to the real issues that affect their lives daily living in new york. They go along with that shyt and a good portion of those people aren't not from there. If they were, they would know better. These same people probably voted for Bloomberg and deblasio. they aren't standing up to these folks. Personally, if I was involved in that activist shyt, I would encourage all the tenants and etc to come together and stop paying their rent until it's a decent amount or even tell people who are living there or moving there to take themselves to another cheaper town basically refusing to support the bullshyt in NYC until city officials it affordable to live in. To hell with this bullshyt. I'll be damned if I'm paying 2,000 dollars to share an apartment. Naw, fukk that.

I also cringe at the fact of a grown man or woman needing to have a roommates to help pay rent in an apartment that is supposed to be for one person. Makes no sense. That's crazy.

 

[Rawtid]

I swear to God if I don't make it happen in six months I'm killing myself. I cannot do this anymore. I just want to be alone, completely, or dead. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to hard as a motherfukker for six months and if shyt isn't kosher I'm riding my bike into oncoming traffic on 580.

I'm tired of feeling like shyt. I'm tired of people making me feel so weird when all I try to do is be positive. I'm tired of feeling like this and having to somehow blame myself for everything. I'm tired of being told how I feel is inappropriate and everybody's feelings are more important than mine. I'm tired of having to suck it up, while others are not expected to do the same. I'm tired of being treated like a criminal when all I do is work hard and contribute to my community.

I can't do this anymore, I really can't. 21 years of this is too much man. I can't anymore. I try to talk to people about my feelings and they're on their fukking phone, or I get the yeah yeah yeah bullshyt. When I ask for help I get lectures about how I fukked up. When I accomplish something I'm proud of I get called arrogant. Other people get celebrated. I get it, I'm not allowed to be happy or have self esteem.

This is going to be a long night. That part that hurts the most is knowing I have all the tools. I could OD, I could blow my brains out, I could do all of this right now. And it'd be a waste of all the work I've done to feel like normal or valuable. So I don't, but this feelings is a bit much to bare. The older I get, when it comes around, it comes around hard.

I can't tell a therapist because they'll lock my ass up for talking like this. I can't write the shyt down on paper because someone will read it and think I'm crazy. So I put here because writing this shyt out makes me feel better.

Every keystroke is a release of pressure. I've been seeing some demonic shyt lately. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I got to get these demons off me man.


The enemy within is the hardest to defeat. But I'm done fighting. I have no fight left in me, I am fukking exhausted. I'm tired of always having to forgive and deal with the racism, the discrimination, the unfair treatment, the hatred. 21 years of it and I've had enough of feeling like this everyday. Anytime I try to feel good about myself I'm told it's not okay.

So either I go completely rogue and knock it out in six months to where I'm on my own entirely, or I'm closing the chapter on this book. I've been treated as if I'm not allowed to occupy Earth I'll just leave. See everyone in hell.

Sometimes I wish dude would have been man enough to kill me. But he was too p*ssy and I beat his ass. I should have let him stab me to death. I should have let dude burn me alive. I could have been out this bytch a while ago without it looking like what it is. nikkas can't shoot straight. I didn't even move. I ain't scared to die. He just missed, and I fukked him up too.

I wish I OD'd all those nights I tried but my cardiovascular system is soccer strong. I feel like I'm supposed to be alive to do something. God has given me multiple chances. But I don't know anymore. This feeling is terrible. I hope God is with me because I need something right now.

Anything, as long as it's real. Please, please, please let me get a sign. I've never needed anything more in my life.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. If there is something I can do to help, I will try. I know what it’s like to be at your wits end. I’m there now.

 

[Pazzy]

I swear to God if I don't make it happen in six months I'm killing myself. I cannot do this anymore. I just want to be alone, completely, or dead. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to hard as a motherfukker for six months and if shyt isn't kosher I'm riding my bike into oncoming traffic on 580.

I'm tired of feeling like shyt. I'm tired of people making me feel so weird when all I try to do is be positive. I'm tired of feeling like this and having to somehow blame myself for everything. I'm tired of being told how I feel is inappropriate and everybody's feelings are more important than mine. I'm tired of having to suck it up, while others are not expected to do the same. I'm tired of being treated like a criminal when all I do is work hard and contribute to my community.

I can't do this anymore, I really can't. 21 years of this is too much man. I can't anymore. I try to talk to people about my feelings and they're on their fukking phone, or I get the yeah yeah yeah bullshyt. When I ask for help I get lectures about how I fukked up. When I accomplish something I'm proud of I get called arrogant. Other people get celebrated. I get it, I'm not allowed to be happy or have self esteem.

This is going to be a long night. That part that hurts the most is knowing I have all the tools. I could OD, I could blow my brains out, I could do all of this right now. And it'd be a waste of all the work I've done to feel like normal or valuable. So I don't, but this feelings is a bit much to bare. The older I get, when it comes around, it comes around hard.

I can't tell a therapist because they'll lock my ass up for talking like this. I can't write the shyt down on paper because someone will read it and think I'm crazy. So I put here because writing this shyt out makes me feel better.

Every keystroke is a release of pressure. I've been seeing some demonic shyt lately. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I got to get these demons off me man.


The enemy within is the hardest to defeat. But I'm done fighting. I have no fight left in me, I am fukking exhausted. I'm tired of always having to forgive and deal with the racism, the discrimination, the unfair treatment, the hatred. 21 years of it and I've had enough of feeling like this everyday. Anytime I try to feel good about myself I'm told it's not okay.

So either I go completely rogue and knock it out in six months to where I'm on my own entirely, or I'm closing the chapter on this book. I've been treated as if I'm not allowed to occupy Earth I'll just leave. See everyone in hell.

Sometimes I wish dude would have been man enough to kill me. But he was too p*ssy and I beat his ass. I should have let him stab me to death. I should have let dude burn me alive. I could have been out this bytch a while ago without it looking like what it is. nikkas can't shoot straight. I didn't even move. I ain't scared to die. He just missed, and I fukked him up too.

I wish I OD'd all those nights I tried but my cardiovascular system is soccer strong. I feel like I'm supposed to be alive to do something. God has given me multiple chances. But I don't know anymore. This feeling is terrible. I hope God is with me because I need something right now.

Anything, as long as it's real. Please, please, please let me get a sign. I've never needed anything more in my life.

Sorry you're feeling this way fam. The only way you're going to survive is if you fight back. Not other people but fight back by hanging in there. Giving up is what they want you to do. Don't quit