If I'm gonna to make myself vulnerable around anybody for that matter, I don't want to get hurt or find any perceived weakness being used against me to hurt me. It's hard to explain. The way I live my life and act even is to protect myself from harm or from anyone thinking im vunerable enough to target for harm . I actually expect to be targeted which makes me expect it. So obviously with that on my mind, it's not gonna make me feel right for the most part. Its fukked up but I honestly blame my experiences throughout my life with some people starting from the time I first started interacting with people aside from my parents and starting school. It's like whatever extravertedness that was there was pushed to the back or killed off from various people just chewing away with it on some bully shyt.
Lol
