well I suppose an update's in order we left the hospital her health is all good . . mentally she's there . . shes now in rehab . . but . . she speaks but not often . . and it's not because of pain . . she's healed up physically she's okay . .hell even mentally . .but she refuses to eat at first we thought it was her health . .but it's becoming more and more apparent that she's given up . .she knows what would help her recover and fights her ass off to refuse it . . will fight to not have a feeding tube put and will fight to not eat will fight not to have to drink . .
it's .. it's not a battle I can help her with shyt I'm struggling to find reasons to even keep on trudging through this bullshyt . .everyday I just push forward and say "well hopefully in the future it'll be worth it"
Ionno if you followed my stories you know I nursed my grandmother back to health . .there is a point after this where everyone was healthy and back to normal . . and my phone dried up again . .when I wasn't needed I was forgotten. .I was left broke,broken,baffled . .I ran to texas alone. . .to start fresh and failed . . .they say "surely you know somebody there you can't go somewhere and know nobody" nikka I'm in the place I was born at and know nobody . . . the few people I did fukk with showed they was not to be trusted I still talk to them though only cause I don't wanna be left alone with just my thoughts
I write these little blurbs for my own peace of mind(not really peace there is no peace) I don't expect people to give a damn or any fukks the world taught me it doesn't work like that. .
my body is in it's 20's but my soul is about 57 I probably wrote this about an hour ago . .and just sat