With social media it's so far from reality now that I feel like that's why I don't want to put myself out there. Why I get so conflicted. I always get told that I should open up my instagram, post body photos and 'you can be like Ms kingdom or Deelishis', but I know that all that comes with popularity is not good. You must also be consistent and open up to uncomfortable levels. I set such a high standard for myself and how I critique myself that it's not healthy and I know I'm not ready for just the hard hitting criticism.
People will say you are ugly, fat, too light, too dark, they will pick at anything and other folks will like and agree. Though you will have those who will defend you and call them haters. I'm the type that could get 100 compliments in comments in a row but one person can say something that doesn't sit right with me and it just fukks with me. Even though I know putting yourself out there on a vain level like social media will attract negativity regardless.
I don't like comparing myself to chicks who got facelifts/fillers and wear a lot of makeup and wigs/hair and get skin treatments every two weeks, when I'm really not focused on that. I don't wanna wear makeup every time I take a pic and I know those are the type of girls who get the most followers. I don't wanna force myself to look like a replica of other girls to get put on either. Following a formula by just using sex and then nobody gives a fukk about what business endeavors you make. No one cares about your music, your clothing line. They follow you for ass.