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Sandy_Cheeks

Sandy_Cheeks

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Rebelmbc240 said:
Yo, my boss told me I'm not aggressive enough about getting what I want. He's right, when I quit soccer I became aware of how different I am than other people. Sports made me aggressive, macho, shallow, stupid, and simple minded.

I've always had a lot of energy and when that is mixed with aggression I think it intimidates people and I make more enemies than friend.

I also take all criticism of me as law and I change or mask what I'm being criticized about. My mom told me I was fat, a bytch, had bad breath, wouldn't be shyt, was too skinny, was too sensitive, was too selfish, and a bunch of other shyt and I'm always pushing to make sure none of those things will ever true.

People said I couldn't keep a normal job and I have. People said I'm not organized enough to work in a kitchen. I proved them wrong. My first coach said I was too small. My second coach said I was too small. My third coach didn't believe black people were good at anything other than basketball. In fifth grade all the kids made fun of me because I was dark skinned. They told me God sat me too close to the fire. The whole class laughed, I didn't get the joke until my mom explained it to me.

Somebody said I'm too old to learn BMX. I'm learning BMX. My therapist said I wouldn't past 21, if I did I'd be homeless or a criminal, and I'd be lucky to know how to read and write.

fukk her, I'm going to live a long prosperous life just to prove her wrong.

I remember everything anyone has ever said about me. I think about it all the time. My mind is a battle field. It's my memories against my will.

I have memories of people talking shyt. Half of me agrees with them because I'm really not shyt and when I think I might be of value I'm reminded even at my most valuable I have no value.

The other half of my mind is on fukking fire. It's hard to explain. People often tell me I don't hold anything back. That's false. I give people 30% of me tops. I'm always holding back, always lying, always adjusting.

I don't like it but it's what I gotta do to survive.

I feel like my energy has no limit. I get more hyped when I'm tired. Not everybody is like that. I don't play it cool. If I'm excited I'm fukking stoked. I can't even be excited without someone talking shyt about how I excited I am.

My life really fukking sucks because I can't speak my mind to anyone and it's starting to bother me because I have a lot to say. I don't judge people because I ain't God. I let motherfukkers live B, and if they want to link up I'm with it.
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I read all of this fam. You keep your head up and don't allow others to determine your worth. You have proven many wrong already and will continue. I encourage you to be who you really are and speak your mind! You will be surprised at how many people value what you have to say fam. Just know that your past doesn't have anything to do with your future.

:hug:
 
DCSpinerz

DCSpinerz

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Women are such a tease... Just gotta will myself again.
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Black Cobain

Black Cobain

Donkey Punch? I Donkey Slap!
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Prima Donna said:
lol my mom is now following blameblackboys, flyandfamousblackgirls and her.venusflytrap. She said she unfollowed flyandfamousblackgirls before because she was tired of seeing women on her feed but she's re-following it for me. I'm nervous about her following blameblackboys because she says I have some horrible taste in men and all the men I find attractive look abusive.
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:skip: are families normally this close? I have none of my family on any of my social media :gucci:

:to:
 
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