The General Mills Chronicles.

[General Mills]

Let me set the back stage brehs. . . I now work for the Helpdesk for the NHL and the NBA. We supply the scoring system and the computers the leagues use to stat the games. When you are watching NBA games. . Those guys sitting courtside with laptops are the official scorers. Those are our computers and scoring system.

Now during the season the guys scoring the games are hired by the individual teams for their home games. For the NBA Summer League in Vegas the NBA contracts us to be the official scorers. So they pay us to go to Vegas for two weeks. Put us up in the same hotel as the Players and other NBA personnel. This year it was the Cosmo. shyt was pifffffff I started here two years ago but when I started they were just going to Vegas so I didnt go my first year. But I went last year. . And the fukkery. .

I call this one. The Ewing Rejection.

I have been to Vegas three times before this trip. Never for work. . And I never scored a live game either. . I knew how to score naturally. I had to know the software for work. And I was practicing at work with a video tape. But that live game speed. Them big nikkas be floating up n down that court. And we were scoring like 3-4 games a night. Well I fukked up bad the first night. Had the big wig NBA guys looking at me like My boss looking at me like And Ewing looking at me like

 

[ThaBoyBam]

 

[General Mills]

Ok. . I am mad nervous. Been to NBA games before. But never on the court. And never this close to everyone. At the start of the Summer League you see all kinds of NBA players. Saw Harden hanging out. Lebron, etc. . You see stars too. Plus they are playing at UNLV. Using the mens and womens courts. So in the womans court. . Everything is real close! Now our first two days we were setting everything up. Running cable, testing equipment and clock. . etc. Got it all working


The first game. I forgot who was playing but I was mad nervous. I am on the Primary scoring machine. I have a guy on the secondary. His job is to be a second pair of eyes. Man the instant replay machine if necessary. And fix any errors that may occur. . And another guy calling the plays so I know what to input.

For example:

Caller - 23, missed jump shot. Rebound 15 for Charlotte, steal 22 Bulls from 15 Charlotte, made fast break dunk 22. etc.. . .

Meanwhile on my laptop. I have to select the location on the court. Then listen to the caller and select the right player and the right designation. It sounds easy. But when that action is going a mile a minute. . It is easy to get discombobulated.


I am ready for the first game. . First quarter goes by smooth. I only have a few errors. .My secondary guy fixes them. Second quarter starts. . Pat Ewing is coaching the Hornets. This dude is massive. He takes up alot of space! He routinely walks IN FRONT OF THE SCORING TABLES! He literally stands right in front of me!

So im like. Cause I need to at least see the location of the shots. . My boss told me earlier if a ref or a player checking in is in your way. Tell them to MOVE! So I put some bass in my voice. . I said . .HEY PATRICK! Down in FRONT! I was feeling myself cause in the first P.J. Hairston was checking in and he was kinda lounging in front of the table standing up. . So I told him to sit down and he quickly apologized and popped his nappy head self down so I could see.

Well when I screamed for Patrick to get down. . Just so happened it was in a lull in the action and the crowd went from loud to super quiet. So the WHOLE arena heard me holler at Pat. . I looked over at my boss and he is looking at me like I look at Patrick and he turns around and hits me with the

 

[That 808]

Mills is back!

 

[Remy Danton]

subs for updates

 

[General Mills]

He looks super annoyed that I screamed on him. . Even the players were looking over at me like My homie next to me was whispering. . Gen WTFFFF man! Dont yell at the coaches!

After that point Pat made it a point to troll me. He went back out of the way for awhile. . But sure as shyt. . In the third period the pace was picking up. . Patrick jumped out of his seat and STOOD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I was I am trying to peer around him and he is a damn wall!

The action is down at his side of the court and I cant see shyt!! I say in a low low tone. Mr. Ewing can you please move. I will never forget. . He looks back at me with a sly grin on his face. Can you see now.

I am cause he has not moved an inch!! Meanwhile I just missed like two rebounds and a put back!! He shuffles a inch. . Looks back at me. . How about now?

The people sitting directly behind us are Pat is clowning for them now. He makes it a point to get right in front of me. . I got my secondary guy screaming at me! General you are missing locations and events!! I am

I cant see shyt. Then he sits his big ass on the table! Turns around and looks at me. Then the buzzer went off for the end of the period. At the end of periods and time outs we print out boxscores to give to the coaches, media, and any star that wants them. These are OFFICIAL stats. Well the stats were fukked up. I MISSED all kinds of shyt. As soon as the Hornets PR guy gets the boxscore he is like nah. This is wrong. P..J has 12 points and 5 rebounds. You have him with 10 and 6. Then the other PR for the other team showed up he says that his stats are all fukked up. . At this point I am

 

[General Mills]

My secondary dude is busy on the instant replay machine now going back and correcting shyt I missed. He does not know what I fukked up so he is starting from the start of the third period. He is basically scoring the third period over again while I am working on the 4th. The problem with this is . . I no longer have him as a backup to help me in the 4th. I am so shook cause I was getting screamed on by PR guys and coaches AND PLAYERS for fukked up stats. I started fukking up for real.

The PLAYERS were rightfully pissed. Most of them were guys who are on a cusp of making the roster. So they need ALL of their stats. They are keeping mental note of their points and rebounds. They see a boxscore at a time out and and they see themselves with less points. . And the coach takes him out for someone else. . They turn around in their seats and point at the scoring table. . Point at me!

I see NBA big wigs across the court looking at printed boxscores like And Pat is looking over at me like He would then mosey his big ass in front of me. . The crowd behind me would roar in laughter as I try to peer around him. . He would block me and look back The crowd is dying!!

 

[Ari Gold Bawse]

I nearly died of starvation

But thank you for this update gen

 

[Tikal]

General back!
already got me

 

[ThugLife]

 

[Shogun]

literally never disappoints

 

[Robert Brownie Sr.]

ok breh , time for another one

 

[Maude]

 

[IronFist]

i got some reading to do. @General Mills tag me when you update this thread breh. (for whatever reason i dont always get all my alerts)

 

[KOOL-AID]

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