Zapp Brannigan
Captain of the Nimbus
Wait, it's not gay if you have a girl toss your salad unexpectedly while she'd licking your taint, and you're like, "WHOA!! HEY!!! THAT'S MY BUTTHOLE!!" but you waited like 3 seconds because you didn't know what was going on at first and you were super ashamed about it and it never happened again and it was all in Vegas and you vowed to never speak or write about it ever again???
AH fukk!!!!
AH fukk!!!!