What other thread?
http://www.thecoli.com/threads/has-the-feminist-movement-made-men-less-manly.328828/
not sure where I got "exposed" tho
Street Harassment [TW]
- Thread starter Matt504
- Start date
http://www.thecoli.com/threads/has-the-feminist-movement-made-men-less-manly.328828/
not sure where I got "exposed" tho
Do you carry anything like pepper spray, tasers, etc.?I was on the phone distracted at CVS.
I made this thread here in the Salon because I'm not really interested in men's opinions on street harassment as they have made it quite clear that "it's not a big deal"
But I saw it in TRL and then in here.Maybe its the juice
Maybe its the juice
someone may have temporarily moved it there but I made it here in the Salon, this is one of those issues that doesn't need the TLR flavor of mysogynoir
What do we as black men do moving forward outside of acknowledging that this is a big deal? Because I've never harassed a woman and am an introvert so the concept of cold approaching is a pipe dream.
While I agree that this is an issue I don't like the comparison being made in those tweets. shyt, I know hit dogs holler, but still it just rubs me the wrong way.
EDIT: I'm figuring it starts with communication through getting to the boys and young men early and conveying to them how women should be treated, then also creating a system that adequately holds those guilty accountable. Still vague from a 30,000 ft perspective but its possibly a start.
it shouldn't rub you the wrong way because the comparison is perfectly valid, all cops aren't out here killing Black men, just like men say "all men" aren't out here harassing women.
what Black men can do is simply stop harassing and harming women, it's not that difficult in my opinion, but many men don't know where to draw the line because "I know my intentions aren't bad, all I have to do is convince her"
Hold other men accountable, but then you have "I'm not putting myself into a situation for a broad I don't know" etc.. Which is understandable, but it use to be men who did things like that weren't just allowed to just do it and KIM they were shamed or told or something. If a man saw a boy doing something they would pull him to the side. None of that happens hardly. No one is teaching respect.
Also acknowledging there is a problem means a lot. It is better than denial just because you personally don't do it and brushing it off like its not a big deal.
The reason I said it did is because while you and I and hopefully others in this thread can logically come to that conclusion, there are others that don't and/or can't distinguish between the fact that its not all cops or that its not all black men that need to be indicted for the actions of a few. That unfortunately doesn't exonerate the innocent from persecution (in whatever form it may be).
In my post's edit, a process is going to be needed to accomplish that simple task, and again while you and I and others here may see it as simple, history has shown that it simply isn't a simple concept for other black men to grasp...whatever their mental gymnastics to justify harassment may be.
Well that's pretty much what my edit said. I'm assuming you meant "you" generally.
It's true though, and it is so funny to me how men who, I'm not saying you @Fonsworth , have that type of mentality don't see the parallels between them and racist. It happens on here everyday. Its not a real issue, its not a real problem. Every man is not like that though. They need to do better and not put themselves in those sitiuations. All the excuses and not checking the person who is actually doing the bad behavior.
Even in this thread. Yea ok, that is bad but- no but. I got called a creep for just saying hello
Ok so what? She wasn't interested KIM. If she was stuck up b*tch with a stank attitude let her be stuck up and KIM. You know the difference being an actual creep and just speaking. So that does not give others a pass for harrassment after someone says no or gets an attitude. Why would you want to deal with someone like that anyway. She said no so you are going to make her say yes 
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Of course I did, and I didn't see the edit.
PlainSight
Anon
It's interesting because I touched on this in another thread - the main thing stopping men from holding other men accountable is their own ridicule and masculinity being attacked. I've brought things up even in my youth that led to me being shamed as "caping" and a white knight. I distinctly remember one incident when I was in school where one of my good friends casually asked some girl at the back of the bus if she gives head and continually brought up the subject even after she answered the question. I actually had to explain to him why that was inappropriate and I was like 14 at the time. Guess who got dissed by my friend, my own brother AND the girl herself?
Even tentatively bringing up things like street harassment, rape culture or anything feminist or sexism-related brings it's own host of problems. I've lost count of how many times I've been called white knight, lib-douche, p*ssy beggar, captain saveaho etc etc. It used to hurt a lot, so I shied away from saying anything. Nowadays, I remind myself it's usually worse for the girls, so I can handle it. I think the important thing we can do on our end is start to hold other guys accountable.
It's interesting because I touched on this in another thread - the main thing stopping men from holding other men accountable is their own ridicule and masculinity being attacked. I've brought things up even in my youth that led to me being shamed as "caping" and a white knight. I distinctly remember one incident when I was in school where one of my good friends casually asked some girl at the back of the bus if she gives head and continually brought up the subject even after she answered the question. I actually had to explain to him why that was inappropriate and I was like 14 at the time. Guess who got dissed by my friend, my own brother AND the girl herself?
Even tentatively bringing up things like street harassment, rape culture or anything feminist or sexism-related brings it's own host of problems. I've lost count of how many times I've been called white knight, lib-douche, p*ssy beggar, captain saveaho etc etc. It used to hurt a lot, so I shied away from saying anything. Nowadays, I remind myself it's usually worse for the girls, so I can handle it. I think the important thing we can do on our end is start to hold other guys accountable.
Then we need to talk about when how and why disrespecting women became the definition of masculinity. I can understand peer pressure as a kid. But as a grown man why would you care about what another man thinks when it comes to doing the right thing? That, is cowardice which I thought was the opposite of manly. I thought...It is just excuses. I feel like men are the only ones who will make an impact on this with other men because of how women are brushed off for saying anything. Men want to be held up as leaders then don't lead.
Like on here, simp, caping, and many other terms are always thrown out and distorted. It is now Manly to attack a woman because she rejected you? Good that you decide to start speaking up.
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Elle Driver
Veteran
I was at CVS, so no. I was pretty distracted when it happened tbh. I was on the phone with my husband at the time.