fukk this movie.
Goddamn fukking Skyfail 2.0. The most positive thing I can say about it is that it doesn't insult your intelligence as much as Skyfail did, but goddamn, this writing team has to be the worst creative team in the history of the franchise. How these wack fukks managed to write a movie as good as Casino Royale is still beyond me, but then I remember Paul Haggis touched that one up quite a bit and I guess that's how that movie got saved from the clutches of these fukkboys.
Let me explain that more thoroughly, these hacks are not creators, they are imitators. They do not create new defining pop culture moments or one-liners for the character, they do not create defining action scenes for the franchise, they just imitate and rehash the hold and try to sell it as "homage" or "tribute". So there you have a big fight scene on a train between Bond and an oversized henchman who doesn't talk, and I guess they expect you to marvel in the nostalgia and throwbackness of it, instead of sitting there annoyed that the best they could come up with for a pivotal action scene is a rehash of a nearly 40 year old movie.
But that's not the biggest writing crime, it's the fact the characters once again are empty as fukk.
@MartyMcFly will have to dig even deeper into his bag of stanning arguments to defend the seeping horse manure you have to sit through as Ernst Stavro Blofeld (oh, you think that's a spoiler? I bet you were really surprised too when Marion Cotillard revealed herself to be Talia al-Ghul and Benedict Cumberbatch revealed himself to be Khan, you fukking idiot!) is reduced to one of the most boring, uninteresting villains of the franchise. Walking around with the most banal motivation of all villains (I am your [half]-brother, and daddy loved you more!) he holds the most excruciatingly boring monologues ever and just does nothing. It almost felt like they got Christopher Waltz in an act of desperation hoping he could save the part, but all the copying of every performance he has ever done could not make this weak material work. There's a scene of them meeting up and he starts talking about a meteorite or some bullshyt and then he ties Bond to a chair and talks all about how he's going to put teeny-tiny drills into his head and I just dozed off like six times throughout the whole ordeal. I actually started wondering if I wasn't channeling the homie
@Sensitive Blake Griffin and was just tired from my day at work but then I realized I wasn't, I was in fact channeling the homie
@MartyMcFly, desperately seeking an excuse to explain why the fukk I nearly fell asleep during a James Bond torture scene and the answer is simply because there's no suspense and outside of a strangely inspired opening scene Sam Mendes' direction consists of putting on three extra layers of paint every five minutes for us to watch them dry.
There's so much more I want to complain about, like the "plot" just moving from location to location for no other reason than that these hack fukks believe a Bond movie should take place at many exotic locations, or this being Lea Seydoux's most thankless role since she broke out with Inglourious Basterds, or how the big marketed car chase is just two expensive cars driving behind each other for five minutes while Bond makes a phone call, or how hilariously forced they tried to include political and socially relevant topics like "drones" and "information gathering" like a third-rate The Dark Knight (the second-rate The Dark Knight would be Skyfail of course).
If I would give this movie a score I would give it 2 Moonrakers out of 5, or 3 Diamonds Are Forever out of 10. But I can actually still enjoy those movies, or you know, at least watch them without wanting to fall asleep. Two and a half hour long 300 million dollar costing garbage.
there's no way I'd ever agree with you on that one. Or join the dark side
Wtf did I just read? It can't be THAT bad. 
