Lucky_Lefty
Dreams Are Colder Than Death...
Why not?
Somebody, Anybody.....#DoSomething: 2019 FSU Seminoles
- Thread starter Lucky_Lefty
- Start date
I just don't think he's that good
Never really been a fan of his game.Sure he won games there, but he was pretty average behind a great OL he really only had one good season at Wisconsin.
Lucky_Lefty
Dreams Are Colder Than Death...
TALALHASSEE, Fla. — As the Seminoles line up in kick return formation, Khalan Laborn stands at the goal line. Florida State trails Samford 6-0 in the first quarter. The crowd at Doak Campbell Stadium, still reeling a week after watching a 24-3 beatdown by Virginia Tech in the 2018 opener, is stunned but still builds to a nervous roar.
Laborn tries not to hear. The redshirt freshman tells himself this return is routine, but he understands exactly what’s at stake: FSU trails an FCS team, and the Seminoles need to answer. His intention is simple: Just take it to the end zone.
He blocks out the noise, tracks the arc of the ball and takes off as soon as leather hits his hands. Laborn darts from the 1 up the right hash and makes the first defender miss. But the second swipes his left leg with enough force to trip him up. As his body flails in the air, Laborn feels something strange and glances down. He’s met with a stomach-churning sight — his kneecap briefly shakes, then shifts out to the side.
A teammate sees the injury and reflexively turns away. Laborn sits up on the 20-yard line and reaches forward to pop his kneecap into place, to no avail. His adrenaline numbs the pain until 10 seconds later, about the same time the FSU trainers get to him. By then, his mind has pieced together what his body has yet to fully process.
“I already knew what happened,” Laborn says now, as he sits on a couch inside the Moore Athletic Center. “I already knew what time it was. I just was like, ‘Man, hopefully I can pop it back in.’ It was crazy.”
The training staff immediately waves for a cart. Laborn’s mother, Terese Clemmons, who drove 800 miles from Virginia Beach to Tallahassee for the game, watches the scene unfold from the parents section in the opposite corner of the stadium.
“I saw the player go down,” Clemmons says. “I remember turning to the right and I said to my daughter, ‘That wasn’t Khalan, was it?’ I was in denial, I guess, and my daughter turned around, ‘Mom, he was the only one running the ball.’ That’s when it set in and I kind of froze. I don’t know. I just spazzed out.”
Clemmons’ phone lights up with texts and calls from concerned family members and friends who are watching her son get carted off the field in an aircast. Still frozen, Clemmons lets them go without a response. Only when she sees assistant director of football operations Julie Reed’s number does she answer. Reed tells Clemmons to come meet her so that she can take her to Khalan, and another player’s mom escorts her down the stairs.
“I think I was about to pass out,” Clemmons says. “I saw the trainers tap their head. I’m a registered nurse, so I automatically thought it was a concussion. I was like, ‘Lord, please, please let him be alive. Let him be conscious.’ ”
In the training room, Clemmons finds out that the team physician has diagnosed Khalan with a dislocated kneecap. Although her son is crying, she feels a wave of relief — Laborn’s brain is fine. A dislocated kneecap was a relief to Khalan, too. Six weeks of rehab, he thought, and he’d be back on the field in time for Clemson to come to town.
Laborn didn’t know it then, but he’d soon come to doubt whether he’d ever play again. The kick return he treated like any other didn’t just destroy his knee, it wrecked his confidence and his sense of self. Laborn experienced a universal fear for injured athletes across all sports — that he’d never be the same. Only for Laborn, the fear itself became as debilitating as the injury.
Sometimes Laborn allows his mind to drift back to everything that has happened since he had his statement moment, back in the summer of 2016.
The rising senior from Virginia Beach — a five-star recruit, the nation’s No. 1 all-purpose running back and a top-30 overall prospect — is clear across the country at Nike’s The Opening, in Oregon. His commitment has been eagerly anticipated in Tallahassee, and Laborn doesn’t disappoint. Not one to commit with a standard hat dance or run-of-the-mill tweet, Laborn pulls up to the practice field in a black Lamborghini customized with Seminoles decals. He emerges wearing an FSU headband, then races to midfield waving a Chief Osceola flag.
Laborn has little doubt that FSU running back Dalvin Cook will play just one more season at FSU, then enter the 2017 NFL draft. That’s a move that will put Laborn in line to compete for the starting job as soon as he arrives on campus. His senior year at Bishop Sullivan Catholic — 1,969 yards and 23 touchdowns — does little to dim his hopes.
But in December, FSU adds a commitment from Cam Akers, a fellow five-star running back and the No. 3 recruit in the country. While Laborn doesn’t back off his commitment, Akers’ addition will factor heavily in coach Jimbo Fisher handing Laborn a redshirt his freshman year.
“It was huge,” Clemmons says, “He was questioning himself, like, ‘Did I make the right decision?’ He was thinking, ‘Am I not that good?’ I had to explain to him, ‘No, this is life. You can’t control some things, but you still have to work through adversity.’ ”
As much as sitting out bothers him, Laborn tries his best to not let his discontent show.
“Just stayed mentally focused,” he says, when asked how he coped. “Don’t pay attention to what people say. Don’t let family members or friends who think you should be playing get in your head and make you have negative thoughts. I just stayed locked in, practiced and tried to get better every day.”
As Akers goes on to break Cook’s school freshman rushing record with 1,024 yards, Laborn doesn’t play a single game. He is contemplating a transfer when Fisher bolts for Texas A&M in December 2017. But a conversation with his new coach, Willie Taggart, convinces Laborn to stay.
“I told him, ‘I want to play. I’ll work hard. I’ll do anything to get on the field. I want to help my team,’ ” Laborn says. “I already had the confidence. I felt like I just needed a chance. I needed a coach that trusts me.”
In the 2018 spring game, Laborn finally has a chance to live up to the hype. He rushes for 160 yards — including a 91-yard touchdown — and is named MVP. What really makes waves, though, is a post-game comment when he’s asked what he saw on his long run.
“I saw a wide-ass open hole and I just hit that bytch,” Laborn tells reporters.
The unfiltered answer shows his immaturity and unfamiliarity with the spotlight, but is immensely popular among fans. More important, the spring game has boosted his confidence heading into the offseason and the 2018 opener. But even though he has an impressive first-quarter, 37-yard catch-and-run against Virginia Tech, frustration sets in again. He doesn’t receive another offensive touch.
Laborn tries not to hear. The redshirt freshman tells himself this return is routine, but he understands exactly what’s at stake: FSU trails an FCS team, and the Seminoles need to answer. His intention is simple: Just take it to the end zone.
He blocks out the noise, tracks the arc of the ball and takes off as soon as leather hits his hands. Laborn darts from the 1 up the right hash and makes the first defender miss. But the second swipes his left leg with enough force to trip him up. As his body flails in the air, Laborn feels something strange and glances down. He’s met with a stomach-churning sight — his kneecap briefly shakes, then shifts out to the side.
A teammate sees the injury and reflexively turns away. Laborn sits up on the 20-yard line and reaches forward to pop his kneecap into place, to no avail. His adrenaline numbs the pain until 10 seconds later, about the same time the FSU trainers get to him. By then, his mind has pieced together what his body has yet to fully process.
“I already knew what happened,” Laborn says now, as he sits on a couch inside the Moore Athletic Center. “I already knew what time it was. I just was like, ‘Man, hopefully I can pop it back in.’ It was crazy.”
The training staff immediately waves for a cart. Laborn’s mother, Terese Clemmons, who drove 800 miles from Virginia Beach to Tallahassee for the game, watches the scene unfold from the parents section in the opposite corner of the stadium.
“I saw the player go down,” Clemmons says. “I remember turning to the right and I said to my daughter, ‘That wasn’t Khalan, was it?’ I was in denial, I guess, and my daughter turned around, ‘Mom, he was the only one running the ball.’ That’s when it set in and I kind of froze. I don’t know. I just spazzed out.”
Clemmons’ phone lights up with texts and calls from concerned family members and friends who are watching her son get carted off the field in an aircast. Still frozen, Clemmons lets them go without a response. Only when she sees assistant director of football operations Julie Reed’s number does she answer. Reed tells Clemmons to come meet her so that she can take her to Khalan, and another player’s mom escorts her down the stairs.
“I think I was about to pass out,” Clemmons says. “I saw the trainers tap their head. I’m a registered nurse, so I automatically thought it was a concussion. I was like, ‘Lord, please, please let him be alive. Let him be conscious.’ ”
In the training room, Clemmons finds out that the team physician has diagnosed Khalan with a dislocated kneecap. Although her son is crying, she feels a wave of relief — Laborn’s brain is fine. A dislocated kneecap was a relief to Khalan, too. Six weeks of rehab, he thought, and he’d be back on the field in time for Clemson to come to town.
Laborn didn’t know it then, but he’d soon come to doubt whether he’d ever play again. The kick return he treated like any other didn’t just destroy his knee, it wrecked his confidence and his sense of self. Laborn experienced a universal fear for injured athletes across all sports — that he’d never be the same. Only for Laborn, the fear itself became as debilitating as the injury.
Sometimes Laborn allows his mind to drift back to everything that has happened since he had his statement moment, back in the summer of 2016.
The rising senior from Virginia Beach — a five-star recruit, the nation’s No. 1 all-purpose running back and a top-30 overall prospect — is clear across the country at Nike’s The Opening, in Oregon. His commitment has been eagerly anticipated in Tallahassee, and Laborn doesn’t disappoint. Not one to commit with a standard hat dance or run-of-the-mill tweet, Laborn pulls up to the practice field in a black Lamborghini customized with Seminoles decals. He emerges wearing an FSU headband, then races to midfield waving a Chief Osceola flag.
Laborn has little doubt that FSU running back Dalvin Cook will play just one more season at FSU, then enter the 2017 NFL draft. That’s a move that will put Laborn in line to compete for the starting job as soon as he arrives on campus. His senior year at Bishop Sullivan Catholic — 1,969 yards and 23 touchdowns — does little to dim his hopes.
But in December, FSU adds a commitment from Cam Akers, a fellow five-star running back and the No. 3 recruit in the country. While Laborn doesn’t back off his commitment, Akers’ addition will factor heavily in coach Jimbo Fisher handing Laborn a redshirt his freshman year.
“It was huge,” Clemmons says, “He was questioning himself, like, ‘Did I make the right decision?’ He was thinking, ‘Am I not that good?’ I had to explain to him, ‘No, this is life. You can’t control some things, but you still have to work through adversity.’ ”
As much as sitting out bothers him, Laborn tries his best to not let his discontent show.
“Just stayed mentally focused,” he says, when asked how he coped. “Don’t pay attention to what people say. Don’t let family members or friends who think you should be playing get in your head and make you have negative thoughts. I just stayed locked in, practiced and tried to get better every day.”
As Akers goes on to break Cook’s school freshman rushing record with 1,024 yards, Laborn doesn’t play a single game. He is contemplating a transfer when Fisher bolts for Texas A&M in December 2017. But a conversation with his new coach, Willie Taggart, convinces Laborn to stay.
“I told him, ‘I want to play. I’ll work hard. I’ll do anything to get on the field. I want to help my team,’ ” Laborn says. “I already had the confidence. I felt like I just needed a chance. I needed a coach that trusts me.”
In the 2018 spring game, Laborn finally has a chance to live up to the hype. He rushes for 160 yards — including a 91-yard touchdown — and is named MVP. What really makes waves, though, is a post-game comment when he’s asked what he saw on his long run.
“I saw a wide-ass open hole and I just hit that bytch,” Laborn tells reporters.
The unfiltered answer shows his immaturity and unfamiliarity with the spotlight, but is immensely popular among fans. More important, the spring game has boosted his confidence heading into the offseason and the 2018 opener. But even though he has an impressive first-quarter, 37-yard catch-and-run against Virginia Tech, frustration sets in again. He doesn’t receive another offensive touch.
Lucky_Lefty
Dreams Are Colder Than Death...
Everybody talked about (his catch), but then he wasn’t put back in, so that was questionable,” Clemmons says. “That kind of took him back to that dark place, like, ‘Why me? Why me?’ After that first game, the coach told him that he was going to see more plays.
“Then, bam, the injury.”
The anesthesia in Laborn’s system makes the day of his surgery a blur. He doesn’t recall anything until he is back in his bed. Even then, he hardly recognizes his own room.
LED lights shine from the top of the previously blank white walls. A framed photo of Muhammad Ali posing over Sonny Liston hangs over his TV. Jerseys of his high school days — from when he was named Team Highlight MVP at the 2017 Under Armour All-America Game, from Bishop Sullivan and from the 2017 North American Championship game against Canada — compete for wall space with six enlarged canvas photos. One of them features his infamous spring game quote. Another, displayed adjacent to his bed, captures him evading Hokies defensive lineman Houshun Gaines on his 37-yard reception.
“That gave me motivation,” Laborn says. “Instead of just crying and looking at blank walls, I’m crying and looking at my pictures. I’m like, ‘You know what? I’ma get back to that.’ I would cry because it hurts right then and there, but I would stop because I know it ain’t gonna be forever.”
With Florida State preparing for a Week 3 road game against Syracuse, Dr. William Thompson had asked Clemmons two days before the surgery if she could make it to Tallahassee. If not, he’d have to postpone the procedure until the following week. A clinical care manager at Aetna Better Health of Virginia, Clemmons knows her son won’t be able to properly function on his own, so she takes off from work and makes the trek for a second week in a row, leaving Khalan’s younger siblings, Khamran, Brooke and Autumn, with family.
Then, as her son is still in post-op recovery, she decides to thoroughly clean and decorate his room in Champions Hall.
“I wanted to brighten up his day and let him know that, ‘You’re going through something now, but this is temporary,’ ” Clemmons says. “ ‘Look what you’ve done. You’ve proven yourself. You’ve proven to be the star that you are. You got injured in an unfortunate situation, but you’re going to do greater things.’ ”
While his spirits initially get a boost, Laborn is in constant discomfort. He begs his mother for pain medication every two hours, but she doesn’t budge from Thompson’s strict order to medicate him every four hours.
Laborn’s knee will be immobilized for six weeks to allow ligaments and tissue to heal, but Thompson also instructs Clemmons to immediately begin aggressive treatment. Starting on the day of surgery, she uses ice and compression, and monitors her son’s time on a continuous passive motion (CPM) machine that slowly, excruciatingly bends his knee to a 90-degree angle, increasing blood flow and limiting scar tissue and stiffness.
“Khalan was like, ‘No. I can’t, I can’t,’ ” Clemmons says of the five daily CPM sessions. “I told him, ‘Khalan, you don’t feel a thing. You still have the nerve block.’ There were a lot of times where the nurse in me had to come out and move mom to the side.”
After the team returns from Syracuse, Clemmons heads home. Laborn wakes up at 6 a.m. daily to receive treatment, a routine that begins with basic muscle firing of the hips, quads and hamstrings, and isometric contractions to “wake up” his muscles and fight against atrophy. After about a week, treatment progresses to lower-leg strengthening and core stabilization exercises to increase range of motion.
While some days Laborn improves, there are just as many when his range of motion remains the same or even worsens. Clemmons comes down on weekends, sometimes staying until Monday, but she can’t monitor her son on a daily basis. Progress isn’t coming as quickly as it should, and scar tissue begins to stiffen his leg.
“Whenever you immobilize someone, you’re trying to use scar tissue to your advantage to heal everything,” Florida State director of rehabilitation Jerry Latimer tells The Athletic. “It’s kind of a double-edged sword. You want to shut them down to heal, but at the same time, you risk getting stiff. Everybody’s a little different. Some people get out of the immobilizer and have full mobility. Some people, before you know it, are stiff. If someone’s in pain and fighting the range of motion, they’re reluctant to do it at home and it feeds into a futile cycle.
“We struggled with all those issues.”
During his rehab, Laborn is plagued by a recurring nightmare: He catches the kickoff, takes off running, makes the first man miss, feels the second trip him up, then wakes with a start at the point of impact.
Since he can’t walk, Laborn stays cooped up in his apartment. He spends most of his time lying in his high-rise bed or sitting on the futon along the back wall of his room, playing video games or watching TV. He never has been injured before and struggles to cope. The isolation, inactivity and repetition wear on his state of mind.
The public perception is that his rehab is going smoothly. But, really, he cries every day. When he watches an NFL game, he starts to cry. When he merely attempts to watch Florida State, he starts to cry. And when he avoids those triggers, he still cries.
“It was hard,” Laborn says now. “Even if I felt like I was keeping myself together, I probably wasn’t because I’m crying. You know what I mean? I would cry every day. I couldn’t walk. I just tried to hold myself together and not cry.
“Even in peace I just couldn’t, bruh. It was wild.”
With live football broadcasts out of the question, Laborn turns to documentaries and movies. One of his favorites is the 2008 film “The Express,” which chronicles the short life of Syracuse running back Ernie Davis, the first African-American Heisman winner in 1961 who died of leukemia at age 23. He also watches the NFL Network series “A Football Life,” which showcases the lives of legendary NFL players, coaches and executives. On a daily basis, he re-watches interviews and videos on Adrian Peterson and Todd Gurley recovering from knee injuries.
“If I’m watching a film or documentary, it’s different,” Laborn says. “For some reason, it gives me hope.”
Peterson didn’t give up when he tore both his ACL and MCL in 2011. He returned the next season, rushed for more than 2,000 yards and was named league MVP. Gurley didn’t quit when he tore his ACL as a junior at Georgia in 2014. He recovered, declared for the 2015 NFL Draft and is one of the best backs in the league. What excuse does Laborn have to throw in the towel?
Their stories provide reassurance that there’s a possibility Laborn can be the same player he once was, but a full comeback is still no guarantee. The depression persists.
“As a mother you want to fix everything,” Clemmons says, “but there was nothing for me to fix. That was out of my control. Physically, he was doing OK. But emotionally and mentally, he wasn’t good. So, I knew we had a bigger problem. My greatest fear: He was going to give up and turn to negative things as coping mechanisms.”
There are several days when Laborn doesn’t want to get out of bed. There’s no point of putting himself through the daily grind of waking up early and pushing his body to exhaustion when progress is so elusive. The missed sessions pile up.
“We deal with this a lot with kids who come in and it’s their first big injury,” Latimer says. “It’s a bigger challenge than for kids who’ve been through something big before.”
Bringing Laborn along is a collaborative effort for the sports medicine team. Latimer, Thompson, head athletic trainer Jake Pfeil, assistants and grad assistants all spend extensive time educating and encouraging Laborn. Regardless of his mood.
“I think he felt like he was on an island not being able to do what the rest of the team was doing,” Latimer says.
The staff has Laborn reach out to Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson, who tore his ACL as a freshman at Clemson, then again as an NFL rookie. He also calls Dalvin Cook, who tore his ACL as a rookie with the Vikings and former Redskins running back Chris Thompson, who tore his ACL as a senior at Florida State.
“They just said, ‘Keep your head up,’ ” Laborn says. “ ‘You got to be mentally strong, stay strong, pray and hope for the best.’ ”
With encouragement from his mother, Laborn begins to read the Bible and pray more often.
“I told him, ‘God didn’t bring you this far to leave you,’ ” Clemmons says. “ ‘Just know that he’s still with you but you still have to do your part.’ ”
Laborn’s teammates also recognize his need for emotional support. Laborn had first met fellow running back Anthony Grant during Grant’s official visit in February and the two became close.
“That’s my dawg,” Grant says. “Mainly, I was there to make sure that he understood that he was gonna have to keep pushing regardless.”
“Then, bam, the injury.”
The anesthesia in Laborn’s system makes the day of his surgery a blur. He doesn’t recall anything until he is back in his bed. Even then, he hardly recognizes his own room.
LED lights shine from the top of the previously blank white walls. A framed photo of Muhammad Ali posing over Sonny Liston hangs over his TV. Jerseys of his high school days — from when he was named Team Highlight MVP at the 2017 Under Armour All-America Game, from Bishop Sullivan and from the 2017 North American Championship game against Canada — compete for wall space with six enlarged canvas photos. One of them features his infamous spring game quote. Another, displayed adjacent to his bed, captures him evading Hokies defensive lineman Houshun Gaines on his 37-yard reception.
“That gave me motivation,” Laborn says. “Instead of just crying and looking at blank walls, I’m crying and looking at my pictures. I’m like, ‘You know what? I’ma get back to that.’ I would cry because it hurts right then and there, but I would stop because I know it ain’t gonna be forever.”
With Florida State preparing for a Week 3 road game against Syracuse, Dr. William Thompson had asked Clemmons two days before the surgery if she could make it to Tallahassee. If not, he’d have to postpone the procedure until the following week. A clinical care manager at Aetna Better Health of Virginia, Clemmons knows her son won’t be able to properly function on his own, so she takes off from work and makes the trek for a second week in a row, leaving Khalan’s younger siblings, Khamran, Brooke and Autumn, with family.
Then, as her son is still in post-op recovery, she decides to thoroughly clean and decorate his room in Champions Hall.
“I wanted to brighten up his day and let him know that, ‘You’re going through something now, but this is temporary,’ ” Clemmons says. “ ‘Look what you’ve done. You’ve proven yourself. You’ve proven to be the star that you are. You got injured in an unfortunate situation, but you’re going to do greater things.’ ”
While his spirits initially get a boost, Laborn is in constant discomfort. He begs his mother for pain medication every two hours, but she doesn’t budge from Thompson’s strict order to medicate him every four hours.
Laborn’s knee will be immobilized for six weeks to allow ligaments and tissue to heal, but Thompson also instructs Clemmons to immediately begin aggressive treatment. Starting on the day of surgery, she uses ice and compression, and monitors her son’s time on a continuous passive motion (CPM) machine that slowly, excruciatingly bends his knee to a 90-degree angle, increasing blood flow and limiting scar tissue and stiffness.
“Khalan was like, ‘No. I can’t, I can’t,’ ” Clemmons says of the five daily CPM sessions. “I told him, ‘Khalan, you don’t feel a thing. You still have the nerve block.’ There were a lot of times where the nurse in me had to come out and move mom to the side.”
After the team returns from Syracuse, Clemmons heads home. Laborn wakes up at 6 a.m. daily to receive treatment, a routine that begins with basic muscle firing of the hips, quads and hamstrings, and isometric contractions to “wake up” his muscles and fight against atrophy. After about a week, treatment progresses to lower-leg strengthening and core stabilization exercises to increase range of motion.
While some days Laborn improves, there are just as many when his range of motion remains the same or even worsens. Clemmons comes down on weekends, sometimes staying until Monday, but she can’t monitor her son on a daily basis. Progress isn’t coming as quickly as it should, and scar tissue begins to stiffen his leg.
“Whenever you immobilize someone, you’re trying to use scar tissue to your advantage to heal everything,” Florida State director of rehabilitation Jerry Latimer tells The Athletic. “It’s kind of a double-edged sword. You want to shut them down to heal, but at the same time, you risk getting stiff. Everybody’s a little different. Some people get out of the immobilizer and have full mobility. Some people, before you know it, are stiff. If someone’s in pain and fighting the range of motion, they’re reluctant to do it at home and it feeds into a futile cycle.
“We struggled with all those issues.”
During his rehab, Laborn is plagued by a recurring nightmare: He catches the kickoff, takes off running, makes the first man miss, feels the second trip him up, then wakes with a start at the point of impact.
Since he can’t walk, Laborn stays cooped up in his apartment. He spends most of his time lying in his high-rise bed or sitting on the futon along the back wall of his room, playing video games or watching TV. He never has been injured before and struggles to cope. The isolation, inactivity and repetition wear on his state of mind.
The public perception is that his rehab is going smoothly. But, really, he cries every day. When he watches an NFL game, he starts to cry. When he merely attempts to watch Florida State, he starts to cry. And when he avoids those triggers, he still cries.
“It was hard,” Laborn says now. “Even if I felt like I was keeping myself together, I probably wasn’t because I’m crying. You know what I mean? I would cry every day. I couldn’t walk. I just tried to hold myself together and not cry.
“Even in peace I just couldn’t, bruh. It was wild.”
With live football broadcasts out of the question, Laborn turns to documentaries and movies. One of his favorites is the 2008 film “The Express,” which chronicles the short life of Syracuse running back Ernie Davis, the first African-American Heisman winner in 1961 who died of leukemia at age 23. He also watches the NFL Network series “A Football Life,” which showcases the lives of legendary NFL players, coaches and executives. On a daily basis, he re-watches interviews and videos on Adrian Peterson and Todd Gurley recovering from knee injuries.
“If I’m watching a film or documentary, it’s different,” Laborn says. “For some reason, it gives me hope.”
Peterson didn’t give up when he tore both his ACL and MCL in 2011. He returned the next season, rushed for more than 2,000 yards and was named league MVP. Gurley didn’t quit when he tore his ACL as a junior at Georgia in 2014. He recovered, declared for the 2015 NFL Draft and is one of the best backs in the league. What excuse does Laborn have to throw in the towel?
Their stories provide reassurance that there’s a possibility Laborn can be the same player he once was, but a full comeback is still no guarantee. The depression persists.
“As a mother you want to fix everything,” Clemmons says, “but there was nothing for me to fix. That was out of my control. Physically, he was doing OK. But emotionally and mentally, he wasn’t good. So, I knew we had a bigger problem. My greatest fear: He was going to give up and turn to negative things as coping mechanisms.”
There are several days when Laborn doesn’t want to get out of bed. There’s no point of putting himself through the daily grind of waking up early and pushing his body to exhaustion when progress is so elusive. The missed sessions pile up.
“We deal with this a lot with kids who come in and it’s their first big injury,” Latimer says. “It’s a bigger challenge than for kids who’ve been through something big before.”
Bringing Laborn along is a collaborative effort for the sports medicine team. Latimer, Thompson, head athletic trainer Jake Pfeil, assistants and grad assistants all spend extensive time educating and encouraging Laborn. Regardless of his mood.
“I think he felt like he was on an island not being able to do what the rest of the team was doing,” Latimer says.
The staff has Laborn reach out to Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson, who tore his ACL as a freshman at Clemson, then again as an NFL rookie. He also calls Dalvin Cook, who tore his ACL as a rookie with the Vikings and former Redskins running back Chris Thompson, who tore his ACL as a senior at Florida State.
“They just said, ‘Keep your head up,’ ” Laborn says. “ ‘You got to be mentally strong, stay strong, pray and hope for the best.’ ”
With encouragement from his mother, Laborn begins to read the Bible and pray more often.
“I told him, ‘God didn’t bring you this far to leave you,’ ” Clemmons says. “ ‘Just know that he’s still with you but you still have to do your part.’ ”
Laborn’s teammates also recognize his need for emotional support. Laborn had first met fellow running back Anthony Grant during Grant’s official visit in February and the two became close.
“That’s my dawg,” Grant says. “Mainly, I was there to make sure that he understood that he was gonna have to keep pushing regardless.”
Lucky_Lefty
Dreams Are Colder Than Death...
Grant and then-teammate Amir Rasul, who since has transferred, check on Laborn every time they get the chance, as do other teammates. Laborn still wants to know how they’re doing in practice, even if it’s difficult to hear. Despite Laborn’s own outlook, his friends tell him they have no doubt that he’ll bounce back.
A few weeks after surgery, Laborn slowly starts to turn the corner mentally and physically. He begins to understand that he must show up for his appointments on time, keep himself accountable and give his all. As a child, Laborn watched his mother work two part-time home health-care jobs on top of her full-time work as a psychiatric nurse to support him and his four siblings. Laborn’s father, Antwain, was in and out of the picture after he and Clemmons divorced. Rather than use the weight of her circumstances to lower her expectations, she kept working. By comparison, Khalan’s situation suddenly doesn’t seem so insurmountable. He just has to do the same thing his mother did.
“I reminded him that I never gave up,” Clemmons says. “And you’re my child, so you can never give up.”
Laborn has to evacuate. Hurricane Michael, which will be the first Category 5 hurricane to hit the Florida Panhandle, is forcing a state of emergency and Florida State closes its campus from Oct. 9-12. The Seminoles are on a bye week, so all players and staff are given the green light to leave.
Clemmons’ first instinct is to buy a ticket so Laborn can fly home, but it’s too soon after surgery for him to fly. Instead, she orders him an Uber to Jacksonville, where he stays the week with a friend. He can’t bring his equipment or receive treatment, but safety is the priority.
When he returns to campus, Laborn’s leg is so stiff that he’s left with only one option: another surgery. The second procedure loosens up tight scar tissue and lessens the likelihood of a dislocation or tear.
The second surgery, the latest dip on his emotional rollercoaster, forces Laborn to come to grips with the reality that this simply isn’t going to come easy. If he fails to push through the tough times, the pain, he’ll never get back.
“That really motivated him to move forward,” Latimer says. “Now, it’s like, ‘All right, let’s jump in. Let’s ramp this thing up.’ ”
The damage from the initial injury is largely healed and Laborn has much better muscle control. Mentally, he fully comprehends the process, and attends every single session. In short, he lets nothing hold him back.
Laborn gets treatment twice a day, and his range of motion comes back immediately. He works on strengthening his leg through isometric hip, knee and leg press exercises along with blood flow restriction therapy. Electrotherapy on a Stim Machine helps dull the pain and activate his quad muscles. To improve balance, he exercises in a pool; other days, he walks on an anti-gravity treadmill. Just like before, the work is tedious, tough and monotonous, but this time progress is consistent.
By Florida State’s Week 7 matchup against Wake Forest — roughly five weeks after his injury — Laborn walks around Bobby Bowden Field without a crutch and wearing his garnet No. 4 jersey. A month later, during the week of the Florida game, he’s able to run in a straight line while wearing a black sleeve knee brace. He still can’t move well laterally or cut, but another hurdle is cleared.
Instead of excitement, though, Laborn is filled with worry. Sure, he’s running, but what if he’s slower? What if he can’t make the same cuts and maneuvers to make defenders miss? What happens if Khalan Laborn can’t be Khalan Laborn?
“It’s crazy just thinking about it,” Laborn says. “I wouldn’t say it was exciting. It was a relief more like. Because I was happy, I’m running and I’m instantly running faster than I thought I was, but I was still down. The doubt was there. I kid you not. The doubt was just there.”
Laborn doesn’t question if he’ll play again, but he wonders if he’s the same guy who rushed for 130 yards in the spring game earlier in the year. Halfway through his rehab schedule, Laborn returns to his mental shell. He’s right on track, but in his mind, the progress isn’t coming fast enough.
Latimer senses the frustration but continues to bring Laborn along slowly. Rather than focus on running faster or advancing to make cuts, they work on functional movement patterns. Laborn gets into his stance, hands on his knees, and walks through a counter handoff. The next play, he takes a blocking stance while Latimer acts as a defensive end coming off the edge. The gains are incremental, but important. The new benchmarks feel like football.
“That’s when you have to push yourself mentally and let yourself know, ‘If you don’t do it today, you wasted a day. If you do it today, you got better,’ ” Laborn says.
“We kept telling him, ‘Khalan, look, if you trust us and keep chipping away at this, we’re going to get on the other side,’ ” Latimer says. “Then there came that time where finally it all came together. He starts seeing improvements, he gets confidence, and the next thing you know we’re having to hold him back because he’s really doing great.”
Past the garnet-gated archway and gold backdrop listing Florida State’s ACC championship seasons, the Al Dunlap Practice Fields are crowded for the first time in months. Fans and media alike gather as coaches and players get back to work at the first spring practice for 2019.
Once the first two open practices are over and shells come on, Laborn sports a blue non-contact jersey in addition to his bulky knee brace. The heaviness of the brace causes frustration and he wants it off, almost as much as the blue jersey. But running backs coach Donte Pimpleton preaches restraint. It takes Laborn’s all, but he relents.
“When it comes to football, I’m very impatient,” Laborn says. “‘I want to play. I want to help. Usually I’m in coach’s face, but I’m telling myself, ‘You got to wait. Straight face. You got to wait.’ ”
Pimpleton and the trainers slowly ramp up Laborn’s activity through the first half of spring practice. Meanwhile, Akers and Grant are full participants. At times, Laborn is separately taken to work inside the indoor practice facility, away from the public eye. Grant pops in whenever he can, guarding against another dip, reminding Laborn to keep pushing.
Gradually, Laborn regains his confidence and trust in the staff that the isolated tests are what will get that blue jersey off his back. The trainers regularly use kinetic equipment to measure his muscle strength and give him jump tests for distance and height. Finally, a week before the spring game, they administer the lower extremity functional test — the gauge to Laborn getting the green light for contact. It’s a go.
“Finally, when I was able to fully practice, it was the best feeling ever,” Laborn says, “having a carry and being around my teammates. Just knowing a couple months ago, I wasn’t allowed to do this, I wasn’t able to do this and now I am.
“And it’s only going to get better.”
Laborn pauses in the dark tunnel. He takes off his helmet, lets his eyes scan the crowd and takes in the moment. It’s just the spring game, but he’s made his way back. There are only 27,901 fans gathered after last year’s crowd of 53,974 set a spring attendance record. It’s reflective of how skeptical the fan base has become after a 5-7 campaign, how the excitement has waned after Taggart’s inaugural campaign.
The atmosphere is far from the buzz that filled The Doak last September, but somehow this feels so much bigger to Laborn. Instead of blocking out the crowd, he lets it flood in.
“I was about to cry right there,” Laborn says.
In the second quarter, Laborn takes a carry up the middle, accelerates to the outside and makes a hard cut inside, trying to evade redshirt freshman linebacker Amari Gainer. He fails to make him miss, but the 18-yard carry will be the longest of the game. By the end of the day, Laborn leads all players with 12 carries for 55 yards. But his biggest gain is what eats at him.
“Honestly, it didn’t set me at ease,” Laborn says post-game. “I felt like if I didn’t have my knee brace on, I probably would’ve had a longer run, but I can’t help that. I have to wear it.”
Laborn’s demeanor reflects other strides he’s made. He’s more grateful and appreciative of the opportunity. He wanted a better performance, but says he’s “glad God didn’t take this game away from me forever.”
To his mother, it signals an important change.
“At the spring game in 2018, the quote that he made compared to the quote that he made this year, he definitely understands and he’s matured a lot,” Clemmons says. “I guess everything that he went through helped him along the way … but it was pretty rough.”
When he stands up from his chair following the end of his interview session, Laborn is the picture of peace. His internal confidence has returned, without the outward arrogance. He wants to get out on the field, but he isn’t impatient. He’s not all the way back physically, but he’s close. More important, he has emerged as a better version of himself after what felt like a never-ending downward spiral.
Laborn’s eyes light up and a wide grin stretches across his face. Two months after the spring game, the bothersome knee brace finally is off. As he discusses the milestone in the sports information office, Laborn can’t stop beaming. He’s genuinely happy again. The depression is gone. His face is creased by a smile. Fear has been replaced by unabashed giddiness.
“I talked to Jake (Pfeil). I was like, ‘Jake, I feel like I’m good,’” Laborn says. “He was like, ‘We’ll see.’ I was like, ‘All right, I’ma just prove you wrong. I’ma show you that first day I won’t need the brace.’ ”
Laborn needs to keep getting stronger and maintaining his mental focus, but he’s fully re-integrated with the rest of the team. His top speed of 20.4 mph is inching closer to his pre-injury mark of 22.8. Whether lifting with his teammates in the weight room, getting in individual on-field work or during player-run practices, he has no restrictions.
The training staff has Laborn come in for daily maintenance checks, as he’s in the stage known as advanced rehab. If anything comes up, strength and conditioning coach Irele Oderinde and his staff are notified to monitor it. So far, there haven’t been any issues.
“It’s really been a positive thing to see Khalan turn that corner,” Latimer says. “As soon as the mental part turned that corner, man, he took off.”
The nerves are still there. Laborn hasn’t played football consistently in nearly three years. He never thought he’d get injured. Even with all the hard work he’s put in to get back, there’s no assurance it won’t happen again. He enters the season behind Akers once again, but this time he isn’t worried about his position on the depth chart.
“We competing, so my mindset is to do my best every day and do what I can and just continue going forward,” Laborn says. “I’m not really worried about anyone else, but just getting back.”
“It’s always a competition,” Akers echoes before the first practice of fall training camp. “Just being here, you’re gonna compete, but definitely we can feed off each other. We both know that we are two important pieces to the run game. So, we’re definitely competing and definitely feeding off each other.”
Laborn wants to take his first career carry and have a great first game against Boise State on Aug. 31, with Clemmons back in the stands. From there, he wants to start, rush for 1,000 yards, help Florida State win as many games as possible and eventually play in the NFL.
As Laborn lists his goals, he seems struck by just how far he’s come to get to this point. He clasps his hands together, bounces his legs, looks to the ground and takes a deep breath midway through his response. All he’s wanted to do since he arrived in Tallahassee in 2017 was to compete. Now, after an unexpected redshirt and a difficult injury, he finally has the chance.
“Literally, that’s the only thing on my mind. I just … ,” Laborn says, then pauses and re-starts as he lets out a nervous laugh. “Boy, it’s just something. I waited so long to be in this position. Now, I have a chance to show that I’m able to play. I just got to get better and keep it going.
“That’s the plan.”
A few weeks after surgery, Laborn slowly starts to turn the corner mentally and physically. He begins to understand that he must show up for his appointments on time, keep himself accountable and give his all. As a child, Laborn watched his mother work two part-time home health-care jobs on top of her full-time work as a psychiatric nurse to support him and his four siblings. Laborn’s father, Antwain, was in and out of the picture after he and Clemmons divorced. Rather than use the weight of her circumstances to lower her expectations, she kept working. By comparison, Khalan’s situation suddenly doesn’t seem so insurmountable. He just has to do the same thing his mother did.
“I reminded him that I never gave up,” Clemmons says. “And you’re my child, so you can never give up.”
Laborn has to evacuate. Hurricane Michael, which will be the first Category 5 hurricane to hit the Florida Panhandle, is forcing a state of emergency and Florida State closes its campus from Oct. 9-12. The Seminoles are on a bye week, so all players and staff are given the green light to leave.
Clemmons’ first instinct is to buy a ticket so Laborn can fly home, but it’s too soon after surgery for him to fly. Instead, she orders him an Uber to Jacksonville, where he stays the week with a friend. He can’t bring his equipment or receive treatment, but safety is the priority.
When he returns to campus, Laborn’s leg is so stiff that he’s left with only one option: another surgery. The second procedure loosens up tight scar tissue and lessens the likelihood of a dislocation or tear.
The second surgery, the latest dip on his emotional rollercoaster, forces Laborn to come to grips with the reality that this simply isn’t going to come easy. If he fails to push through the tough times, the pain, he’ll never get back.
“That really motivated him to move forward,” Latimer says. “Now, it’s like, ‘All right, let’s jump in. Let’s ramp this thing up.’ ”
The damage from the initial injury is largely healed and Laborn has much better muscle control. Mentally, he fully comprehends the process, and attends every single session. In short, he lets nothing hold him back.
Laborn gets treatment twice a day, and his range of motion comes back immediately. He works on strengthening his leg through isometric hip, knee and leg press exercises along with blood flow restriction therapy. Electrotherapy on a Stim Machine helps dull the pain and activate his quad muscles. To improve balance, he exercises in a pool; other days, he walks on an anti-gravity treadmill. Just like before, the work is tedious, tough and monotonous, but this time progress is consistent.
By Florida State’s Week 7 matchup against Wake Forest — roughly five weeks after his injury — Laborn walks around Bobby Bowden Field without a crutch and wearing his garnet No. 4 jersey. A month later, during the week of the Florida game, he’s able to run in a straight line while wearing a black sleeve knee brace. He still can’t move well laterally or cut, but another hurdle is cleared.
Instead of excitement, though, Laborn is filled with worry. Sure, he’s running, but what if he’s slower? What if he can’t make the same cuts and maneuvers to make defenders miss? What happens if Khalan Laborn can’t be Khalan Laborn?
“It’s crazy just thinking about it,” Laborn says. “I wouldn’t say it was exciting. It was a relief more like. Because I was happy, I’m running and I’m instantly running faster than I thought I was, but I was still down. The doubt was there. I kid you not. The doubt was just there.”
Laborn doesn’t question if he’ll play again, but he wonders if he’s the same guy who rushed for 130 yards in the spring game earlier in the year. Halfway through his rehab schedule, Laborn returns to his mental shell. He’s right on track, but in his mind, the progress isn’t coming fast enough.
Latimer senses the frustration but continues to bring Laborn along slowly. Rather than focus on running faster or advancing to make cuts, they work on functional movement patterns. Laborn gets into his stance, hands on his knees, and walks through a counter handoff. The next play, he takes a blocking stance while Latimer acts as a defensive end coming off the edge. The gains are incremental, but important. The new benchmarks feel like football.
“That’s when you have to push yourself mentally and let yourself know, ‘If you don’t do it today, you wasted a day. If you do it today, you got better,’ ” Laborn says.
“We kept telling him, ‘Khalan, look, if you trust us and keep chipping away at this, we’re going to get on the other side,’ ” Latimer says. “Then there came that time where finally it all came together. He starts seeing improvements, he gets confidence, and the next thing you know we’re having to hold him back because he’s really doing great.”
Past the garnet-gated archway and gold backdrop listing Florida State’s ACC championship seasons, the Al Dunlap Practice Fields are crowded for the first time in months. Fans and media alike gather as coaches and players get back to work at the first spring practice for 2019.
Once the first two open practices are over and shells come on, Laborn sports a blue non-contact jersey in addition to his bulky knee brace. The heaviness of the brace causes frustration and he wants it off, almost as much as the blue jersey. But running backs coach Donte Pimpleton preaches restraint. It takes Laborn’s all, but he relents.
“When it comes to football, I’m very impatient,” Laborn says. “‘I want to play. I want to help. Usually I’m in coach’s face, but I’m telling myself, ‘You got to wait. Straight face. You got to wait.’ ”
Pimpleton and the trainers slowly ramp up Laborn’s activity through the first half of spring practice. Meanwhile, Akers and Grant are full participants. At times, Laborn is separately taken to work inside the indoor practice facility, away from the public eye. Grant pops in whenever he can, guarding against another dip, reminding Laborn to keep pushing.
Gradually, Laborn regains his confidence and trust in the staff that the isolated tests are what will get that blue jersey off his back. The trainers regularly use kinetic equipment to measure his muscle strength and give him jump tests for distance and height. Finally, a week before the spring game, they administer the lower extremity functional test — the gauge to Laborn getting the green light for contact. It’s a go.
“Finally, when I was able to fully practice, it was the best feeling ever,” Laborn says, “having a carry and being around my teammates. Just knowing a couple months ago, I wasn’t allowed to do this, I wasn’t able to do this and now I am.
“And it’s only going to get better.”
Laborn pauses in the dark tunnel. He takes off his helmet, lets his eyes scan the crowd and takes in the moment. It’s just the spring game, but he’s made his way back. There are only 27,901 fans gathered after last year’s crowd of 53,974 set a spring attendance record. It’s reflective of how skeptical the fan base has become after a 5-7 campaign, how the excitement has waned after Taggart’s inaugural campaign.
The atmosphere is far from the buzz that filled The Doak last September, but somehow this feels so much bigger to Laborn. Instead of blocking out the crowd, he lets it flood in.
“I was about to cry right there,” Laborn says.
In the second quarter, Laborn takes a carry up the middle, accelerates to the outside and makes a hard cut inside, trying to evade redshirt freshman linebacker Amari Gainer. He fails to make him miss, but the 18-yard carry will be the longest of the game. By the end of the day, Laborn leads all players with 12 carries for 55 yards. But his biggest gain is what eats at him.
“Honestly, it didn’t set me at ease,” Laborn says post-game. “I felt like if I didn’t have my knee brace on, I probably would’ve had a longer run, but I can’t help that. I have to wear it.”
Laborn’s demeanor reflects other strides he’s made. He’s more grateful and appreciative of the opportunity. He wanted a better performance, but says he’s “glad God didn’t take this game away from me forever.”
To his mother, it signals an important change.
“At the spring game in 2018, the quote that he made compared to the quote that he made this year, he definitely understands and he’s matured a lot,” Clemmons says. “I guess everything that he went through helped him along the way … but it was pretty rough.”
When he stands up from his chair following the end of his interview session, Laborn is the picture of peace. His internal confidence has returned, without the outward arrogance. He wants to get out on the field, but he isn’t impatient. He’s not all the way back physically, but he’s close. More important, he has emerged as a better version of himself after what felt like a never-ending downward spiral.
Laborn’s eyes light up and a wide grin stretches across his face. Two months after the spring game, the bothersome knee brace finally is off. As he discusses the milestone in the sports information office, Laborn can’t stop beaming. He’s genuinely happy again. The depression is gone. His face is creased by a smile. Fear has been replaced by unabashed giddiness.
“I talked to Jake (Pfeil). I was like, ‘Jake, I feel like I’m good,’” Laborn says. “He was like, ‘We’ll see.’ I was like, ‘All right, I’ma just prove you wrong. I’ma show you that first day I won’t need the brace.’ ”
Laborn needs to keep getting stronger and maintaining his mental focus, but he’s fully re-integrated with the rest of the team. His top speed of 20.4 mph is inching closer to his pre-injury mark of 22.8. Whether lifting with his teammates in the weight room, getting in individual on-field work or during player-run practices, he has no restrictions.
The training staff has Laborn come in for daily maintenance checks, as he’s in the stage known as advanced rehab. If anything comes up, strength and conditioning coach Irele Oderinde and his staff are notified to monitor it. So far, there haven’t been any issues.
“It’s really been a positive thing to see Khalan turn that corner,” Latimer says. “As soon as the mental part turned that corner, man, he took off.”
The nerves are still there. Laborn hasn’t played football consistently in nearly three years. He never thought he’d get injured. Even with all the hard work he’s put in to get back, there’s no assurance it won’t happen again. He enters the season behind Akers once again, but this time he isn’t worried about his position on the depth chart.
“We competing, so my mindset is to do my best every day and do what I can and just continue going forward,” Laborn says. “I’m not really worried about anyone else, but just getting back.”
“It’s always a competition,” Akers echoes before the first practice of fall training camp. “Just being here, you’re gonna compete, but definitely we can feed off each other. We both know that we are two important pieces to the run game. So, we’re definitely competing and definitely feeding off each other.”
Laborn wants to take his first career carry and have a great first game against Boise State on Aug. 31, with Clemmons back in the stands. From there, he wants to start, rush for 1,000 yards, help Florida State win as many games as possible and eventually play in the NFL.
As Laborn lists his goals, he seems struck by just how far he’s come to get to this point. He clasps his hands together, bounces his legs, looks to the ground and takes a deep breath midway through his response. All he’s wanted to do since he arrived in Tallahassee in 2017 was to compete. Now, after an unexpected redshirt and a difficult injury, he finally has the chance.
“Literally, that’s the only thing on my mind. I just … ,” Laborn says, then pauses and re-starts as he lets out a nervous laugh. “Boy, it’s just something. I waited so long to be in this position. Now, I have a chance to show that I’m able to play. I just got to get better and keep it going.
“That’s the plan.”
Tashan Reed just got into town and is already the best reporter on the local beat
Grant and then-teammate Amir Rasul, who since has transferred, check on Laborn every time they get the chance, as do other teammates. Laborn still wants to know how they’re doing in practice, even if it’s difficult to hear. Despite Laborn’s own outlook, his friends tell him they have no doubt that he’ll bounce back.
A few weeks after surgery, Laborn slowly starts to turn the corner mentally and physically. He begins to understand that he must show up for his appointments on time, keep himself accountable and give his all. As a child, Laborn watched his mother work two part-time home health-care jobs on top of her full-time work as a psychiatric nurse to support him and his four siblings. Laborn’s father, Antwain, was in and out of the picture after he and Clemmons divorced. Rather than use the weight of her circumstances to lower her expectations, she kept working. By comparison, Khalan’s situation suddenly doesn’t seem so insurmountable. He just has to do the same thing his mother did.
“I reminded him that I never gave up,” Clemmons says. “And you’re my child, so you can never give up.”
Laborn has to evacuate. Hurricane Michael, which will be the first Category 5 hurricane to hit the Florida Panhandle, is forcing a state of emergency and Florida State closes its campus from Oct. 9-12. The Seminoles are on a bye week, so all players and staff are given the green light to leave.
Clemmons’ first instinct is to buy a ticket so Laborn can fly home, but it’s too soon after surgery for him to fly. Instead, she orders him an Uber to Jacksonville, where he stays the week with a friend. He can’t bring his equipment or receive treatment, but safety is the priority.
When he returns to campus, Laborn’s leg is so stiff that he’s left with only one option: another surgery. The second procedure loosens up tight scar tissue and lessens the likelihood of a dislocation or tear.
The second surgery, the latest dip on his emotional rollercoaster, forces Laborn to come to grips with the reality that this simply isn’t going to come easy. If he fails to push through the tough times, the pain, he’ll never get back.
“That really motivated him to move forward,” Latimer says. “Now, it’s like, ‘All right, let’s jump in. Let’s ramp this thing up.’ ”
The damage from the initial injury is largely healed and Laborn has much better muscle control. Mentally, he fully comprehends the process, and attends every single session. In short, he lets nothing hold him back.
Laborn gets treatment twice a day, and his range of motion comes back immediately. He works on strengthening his leg through isometric hip, knee and leg press exercises along with blood flow restriction therapy. Electrotherapy on a Stim Machine helps dull the pain and activate his quad muscles. To improve balance, he exercises in a pool; other days, he walks on an anti-gravity treadmill. Just like before, the work is tedious, tough and monotonous, but this time progress is consistent.
By Florida State’s Week 7 matchup against Wake Forest — roughly five weeks after his injury — Laborn walks around Bobby Bowden Field without a crutch and wearing his garnet No. 4 jersey. A month later, during the week of the Florida game, he’s able to run in a straight line while wearing a black sleeve knee brace. He still can’t move well laterally or cut, but another hurdle is cleared.
Instead of excitement, though, Laborn is filled with worry. Sure, he’s running, but what if he’s slower? What if he can’t make the same cuts and maneuvers to make defenders miss? What happens if Khalan Laborn can’t be Khalan Laborn?
“It’s crazy just thinking about it,” Laborn says. “I wouldn’t say it was exciting. It was a relief more like. Because I was happy, I’m running and I’m instantly running faster than I thought I was, but I was still down. The doubt was there. I kid you not. The doubt was just there.”
Laborn doesn’t question if he’ll play again, but he wonders if he’s the same guy who rushed for 130 yards in the spring game earlier in the year. Halfway through his rehab schedule, Laborn returns to his mental shell. He’s right on track, but in his mind, the progress isn’t coming fast enough.
Latimer senses the frustration but continues to bring Laborn along slowly. Rather than focus on running faster or advancing to make cuts, they work on functional movement patterns. Laborn gets into his stance, hands on his knees, and walks through a counter handoff. The next play, he takes a blocking stance while Latimer acts as a defensive end coming off the edge. The gains are incremental, but important. The new benchmarks feel like football.
“That’s when you have to push yourself mentally and let yourself know, ‘If you don’t do it today, you wasted a day. If you do it today, you got better,’ ” Laborn says.
“We kept telling him, ‘Khalan, look, if you trust us and keep chipping away at this, we’re going to get on the other side,’ ” Latimer says. “Then there came that time where finally it all came together. He starts seeing improvements, he gets confidence, and the next thing you know we’re having to hold him back because he’s really doing great.”
Past the garnet-gated archway and gold backdrop listing Florida State’s ACC championship seasons, the Al Dunlap Practice Fields are crowded for the first time in months. Fans and media alike gather as coaches and players get back to work at the first spring practice for 2019.
Once the first two open practices are over and shells come on, Laborn sports a blue non-contact jersey in addition to his bulky knee brace. The heaviness of the brace causes frustration and he wants it off, almost as much as the blue jersey. But running backs coach Donte Pimpleton preaches restraint. It takes Laborn’s all, but he relents.
“When it comes to football, I’m very impatient,” Laborn says. “‘I want to play. I want to help. Usually I’m in coach’s face, but I’m telling myself, ‘You got to wait. Straight face. You got to wait.’ ”
Pimpleton and the trainers slowly ramp up Laborn’s activity through the first half of spring practice. Meanwhile, Akers and Grant are full participants. At times, Laborn is separately taken to work inside the indoor practice facility, away from the public eye. Grant pops in whenever he can, guarding against another dip, reminding Laborn to keep pushing.
Gradually, Laborn regains his confidence and trust in the staff that the isolated tests are what will get that blue jersey off his back. The trainers regularly use kinetic equipment to measure his muscle strength and give him jump tests for distance and height. Finally, a week before the spring game, they administer the lower extremity functional test — the gauge to Laborn getting the green light for contact. It’s a go.
“Finally, when I was able to fully practice, it was the best feeling ever,” Laborn says, “having a carry and being around my teammates. Just knowing a couple months ago, I wasn’t allowed to do this, I wasn’t able to do this and now I am.
“And it’s only going to get better.”
Laborn pauses in the dark tunnel. He takes off his helmet, lets his eyes scan the crowd and takes in the moment. It’s just the spring game, but he’s made his way back. There are only 27,901 fans gathered after last year’s crowd of 53,974 set a spring attendance record. It’s reflective of how skeptical the fan base has become after a 5-7 campaign, how the excitement has waned after Taggart’s inaugural campaign.
The atmosphere is far from the buzz that filled The Doak last September, but somehow this feels so much bigger to Laborn. Instead of blocking out the crowd, he lets it flood in.
“I was about to cry right there,” Laborn says.
In the second quarter, Laborn takes a carry up the middle, accelerates to the outside and makes a hard cut inside, trying to evade redshirt freshman linebacker Amari Gainer. He fails to make him miss, but the 18-yard carry will be the longest of the game. By the end of the day, Laborn leads all players with 12 carries for 55 yards. But his biggest gain is what eats at him.
“Honestly, it didn’t set me at ease,” Laborn says post-game. “I felt like if I didn’t have my knee brace on, I probably would’ve had a longer run, but I can’t help that. I have to wear it.”
Laborn’s demeanor reflects other strides he’s made. He’s more grateful and appreciative of the opportunity. He wanted a better performance, but says he’s “glad God didn’t take this game away from me forever.”
To his mother, it signals an important change.
“At the spring game in 2018, the quote that he made compared to the quote that he made this year, he definitely understands and he’s matured a lot,” Clemmons says. “I guess everything that he went through helped him along the way … but it was pretty rough.”
When he stands up from his chair following the end of his interview session, Laborn is the picture of peace. His internal confidence has returned, without the outward arrogance. He wants to get out on the field, but he isn’t impatient. He’s not all the way back physically, but he’s close. More important, he has emerged as a better version of himself after what felt like a never-ending downward spiral.
Laborn’s eyes light up and a wide grin stretches across his face. Two months after the spring game, the bothersome knee brace finally is off. As he discusses the milestone in the sports information office, Laborn can’t stop beaming. He’s genuinely happy again. The depression is gone. His face is creased by a smile. Fear has been replaced by unabashed giddiness.
“I talked to Jake (Pfeil). I was like, ‘Jake, I feel like I’m good,’” Laborn says. “He was like, ‘We’ll see.’ I was like, ‘All right, I’ma just prove you wrong. I’ma show you that first day I won’t need the brace.’ ”
Laborn needs to keep getting stronger and maintaining his mental focus, but he’s fully re-integrated with the rest of the team. His top speed of 20.4 mph is inching closer to his pre-injury mark of 22.8. Whether lifting with his teammates in the weight room, getting in individual on-field work or during player-run practices, he has no restrictions.
The training staff has Laborn come in for daily maintenance checks, as he’s in the stage known as advanced rehab. If anything comes up, strength and conditioning coach Irele Oderinde and his staff are notified to monitor it. So far, there haven’t been any issues.
“It’s really been a positive thing to see Khalan turn that corner,” Latimer says. “As soon as the mental part turned that corner, man, he took off.”
The nerves are still there. Laborn hasn’t played football consistently in nearly three years. He never thought he’d get injured. Even with all the hard work he’s put in to get back, there’s no assurance it won’t happen again. He enters the season behind Akers once again, but this time he isn’t worried about his position on the depth chart.
“We competing, so my mindset is to do my best every day and do what I can and just continue going forward,” Laborn says. “I’m not really worried about anyone else, but just getting back.”
“It’s always a competition,” Akers echoes before the first practice of fall training camp. “Just being here, you’re gonna compete, but definitely we can feed off each other. We both know that we are two important pieces to the run game. So, we’re definitely competing and definitely feeding off each other.”
Laborn wants to take his first career carry and have a great first game against Boise State on Aug. 31, with Clemmons back in the stands. From there, he wants to start, rush for 1,000 yards, help Florida State win as many games as possible and eventually play in the NFL.
As Laborn lists his goals, he seems struck by just how far he’s come to get to this point. He clasps his hands together, bounces his legs, looks to the ground and takes a deep breath midway through his response. All he’s wanted to do since he arrived in Tallahassee in 2017 was to compete. Now, after an unexpected redshirt and a difficult injury, he finally has the chance.
“Literally, that’s the only thing on my mind. I just … ,” Laborn says, then pauses and re-starts as he lets out a nervous laugh. “Boy, it’s just something. I waited so long to be in this position. Now, I have a chance to show that I’m able to play. I just got to get better and keep it going.
“That’s the plan.”
Tashan Reed just got into town and is already the best reporter on the local beat
STL representing!
WhoShotCha
Superstar
I'm hearing about a lot of guys looking good this summer, but who's been disappointing in camp?
Adonis Thomas gotta be the woat Seminole
WhoShotCha
Superstar
Corey Mangum says hi. To think Adonis was a 4star. Dude is the softest dude to ever play for FSU.
Lucky_Lefty
Dreams Are Colder Than Death...
Lucky_Lefty
Dreams Are Colder Than Death...
If it’s not a H&H, they’re wasting our time
Lucky_Lefty
Dreams Are Colder Than Death...
Honestly, McDonald should be starting over Tre. Maybe even Nabers.