Single Woman or Baby Mama?

[mortuus est]

i actually think it takes 1 year to fully know if you want to be with someone for life imo, if you find the ONE that is

most guys have mission lists of things they really want to complete before marriage , stuff like going on holiday to certain countries, some to have sex with woman from every country, become a man, etc etc

if the guy is financially ready , their shouldn't be a hold up tbh

 

[Actually6Foot3]

Lurking breh here.

I don't see benefit to marriage out weighing the risks/disadvantages. and as a male I assume most of the risk when that marriage certificate is signed. Especially if we divorce down the line.

There's a reason why marriage is on the decline. Men are asking "what's in it for me?" And the truth is, not much. Just my opinion though

To wrap this up. A man may love you and want you but not want to sign that certificate for other reasons having nothing to do with love.

 

[LeeDoubleLee]

being single at 37 and still looking for mr. right is fine unless you want to start a family. i think in that situation you have to take a hard look at what you want and what the options are.

 

[BigMan]

I think people forget what marriage is really about and it's not love

 

[Cynic]

at 37 ? You might as well hop down to your local cat adoption agency.

Unless she was a serial careerist working to become a partner at a law firm
but even then it will be a few years before she's a managing partner

Why bother settling down at all ? Just carry on making money and continue
banging whoever you want.

It's too late to be a baby incubator, personal chef
sexual orifice to some man........just do you

Most women are so focused on the "goal" that they never take the time to intellectualise the subject. I don't think they actually weight the pros and cons. I know a good number of people who are unhappily married but won't divorced b/c of the financial burden it would place on them. I have nothing against it but I think a lot of people do it for all the wrong reasons. There is a reason the legal divorce rate is so high.

Most men don't take the time think critically about marriage. They are shamed
and manipulated into it. It's not rocket science.....

Divorce rates are high because

1) it's profitable for law firms, realtors, government
2) Women will never repeal no fault divorce laws

 

[Giselle]

At age 37 would you rather be a girlfriend/baby mama in a 7 year committed relationship, or single still in search of Mr. Right?

So she got pregnant at 30? and has been with him for most of her 30s? It doesn't make sense to be in your 30s and have a relationship like that.


These situations make more sense for younger people, not for someone in their 30s. Those who have been together since their teens or college and waited until they were done with school and school debt to get married.


I would not accept that as a 30+ year old person.

 

[GoldCoastSaint]

On both fronts. You don't have to get married but don't downplay marriage. It's annoying how marriage has been reduced to being nothing more than a piece of paper. People often quote the divorce rate and overlook the other 50% who don't divorce. It seems to me like a personal issue as opposed to there being something wrong with marriage.

Its not downplaying marriage if you genuinely don't see the point or dont want that for your life. There are people who find nothing appealing about it and see it as worthless. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

[Tae]

So she got pregnant at 30? and has been with him for most of her 30s? It doesn't make sense to be in your 30s and have a relationship like that.


These situations make more sense for younger people, not for someone in their 30s. Those who have been together since their teens or college and waited until they were done with school and school debt to get married.


I would not accept that as a 30+ year old person.

Let's say you started dating the guy at 30 and got pregnant at 33. You have a good relationship but he says he's still not ready to get married. Do you break up with him?

 

[Giselle]

Let's say you started dating the guy at 30 and got pregnant at 33. You have a good relationship but he says he's still not ready to get married. Do you break up with him?

If I am that old, I would not be with someone for more than 2 years with them still not being sure they want to marry me. I'd just move on.

 

[Ashley Banks]

I would rather be single. I've always believed that men that refuse to marry their girlfriends don't really love them/are planning to leave. So I'd never be happy in that situation.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

First, It's moot when you are arguing against a point I never made.

I'm answering what you asked below hence the listing of benefits and my initial post stated that there were religious reasons, since you said marriage was just a certificate. Smh

I said LEGALLY married so all that is mute unless you can explain how a marriage with a certificate is better than one without one.

 

[Malt-O-Meal]

Its not downplaying marriage if you genuinely don't see the point or dont want that for your life. There are people who find nothing appealing about it and see it as worthless. There's nothing wrong with that.

It is downplaying it. No one in this thread criticized anyone who says they don't want to be married. I even answered I'd rather be single regarding the op's question. If the person doesn't want to be married, more power to them. All I'm saying is not to reduce marriage to being just a certificate or a piece of paper or saying married people cheat too, etc. That's downplaying marriage, just because you may not see the benefit doesn't mean there is none to someone else. Crazy how you tried to spin it as if I or anyone was attacking people who don't want to get married when it's the opposite.
As shown below:

This!

Im happily married and tell anyone who will listen the same thing. Marriage can be beautiful but women do waaay too much for a ring. Living with disrespect is never worth it. A husband that lies, ignores, cheats, abuses will only ruin you. Better to stay single.

Also, if a woman really doesn't want the rest of her life tangled with someone else I see nothing wrong with her making a conscious decision to never get married. People need to let people be who they are.

No one here, I definitely didn't, ever said a woman should tangle her life up with someone she doesn't want to be with. So where this came from I don't know. I did agree with the last point hence me saying it goes for BOTH sides. Neither group needs to put down the other's decision or turn it into a negative. I'm just calling out the group who is being negative, which is the anti-marriage people, whom reduced the meaning of marriage. They were the critical ones. No one said anything negative or sideways about those who don't want to get married. Smh

 

[010101]

you can enjoy a relationship without being joined at the hip right¿
you can choose a father for your child based on his capacity to provide right¿
maybe it's just the way you are taught to value commitment/marriage above logic/practicality right¿

*

 

[VFib]

I'd choose being single. (Having children isn't that serious for me.) And I wouldn't be with someone more than a year without marriage being on the table. If it's not discussed in a year, I'm looking elsewhere as I have no interest in being a girlfriend for the rest of my life.

There's nothing wrong with not wanted to be married. I used to feel this way. If marriage is something you want, don't settle for just being a girlfriend.

 

[Cynic]

If I am that old, I would not be with someone for more than 2 years with them still not being sure they want to marry me. I'd just move on.

Move on to what exactly ? You're 37 not 22. The pickings wont be as lucrative as they were during your peak.


Marriage in the West isn't really in any mans best interests. He's smart.