Seriously I need some advice ladies, I can't get my wife & mom to get along.

[heart]

The backstory is me & my wife have been together for about 9 years, been married for over two years, two kids, great careers, etc.. But her & my moms are ALWAYS into it.

My mom is a type A who always inserts her opinion and comes across very strong. My wife is passive in public but also very sensitive. So when my mom says something to her she doesn't like, I have to hear it from my wife and then I'm the bad guy if it's not perceived that I have her(wife) back.

Me and my wife got into this huge argument monday night because she said my mom disrespects her but doesn't do it to my brother's wives and that couldn't be further from the truth. My mom can be rude to everyone and tell people how she feels. During the argument I told my wife grow a backbone and stand up to my mom instead of telling me everything.

So she did that and I had to leave work yesterday because they were about to throw hands. I'm a pharmacist working 10 hour shifts at a hospital and it's very embarrasing to get a call on my WORK phone to leave work STAT because of an family emergency and I hear my wife & mom screaming in the background.

My wife claims I'm a mama's boy but my moms and grandma raised me & my brothers alone & I don't feel I should go against mom all the time but I do call her out on BS from time to time. I understand that when you're married you're wife & kids come first.

But I feel I'm just stuck in the middle and I don't want the two most important women in my world mad at me or each other.

Ladies or Gentleman have you ever had to deal with something like this? What is the best course of action I should take to make things better? Any feedback is appreciated. I'm all out of ideas.

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Pics of said mom and wife before I give input

 

[Soon]

Why is your mom anywhere near your wife?

Seems like you have no control of the situation which is pretty surprising.

 

[heart]

Why is your mom anywhere near your wife?

Seems like you have no control of the situation which is pretty surprising.

My mom stays in close proximity to us. But why is it on me to be in control? At the end of the day as grown women, shouldn't they be able to hash out their differences?

 

[Taadow]

My mom stays in close proximity to us. But why is it on me to be in control? At the end of the day as grown women, shouldn't they be able to hash out their differences?

LMAO

Women? Hashing out their differences? Boy, stop.



Did this just start? Or has this been an issue for 9 years?

 

[Soon]

My mom stays in close proximity to us. But why is it on me to be in control? At the end of the day as grown women, shouldn't they be able to hash out their differences?

I think your mom should not be coming over when you are not home.

If I could talk to your wife, I would tell her to call the cops next time your mom crosses the line with her in her own house.

I pray your wife receives this advice from someone, cause your kids do not need the trauma. You ready to have the mother of you kids abused my your mom in front of your kids, this is beyond sad.

 

[Queen]

You need to have your wife's back, or expect for your marriage to be ruined. Your wife should not have to stand up to your mother. That is your mother, you need to talk to her. That doesn't mean you have to get disrespectful, but your wife needs to know what you are 100% on her team. If not, you are opening the door to more issues.

There is nothing to be stuck in the middle about. Your wife should be your priority. And if your mother wants to have a good relationship with you, she needs to understand that she can't keep making your wife feel uncomfortable.

 

[heart]

LMAO

Women? Hashing out their differences? Boy, stop.



Did this just start? Or has this been an issue for 9 years?

Off & On.

Like I remember when my son was born last year & my mom and grandma said something to wife about how she was breastfeeding and my wife got mad because I didn't check them. I'm just sick of them.

 

[heart]

You need to have your wife's back, or expect for your marriage to be ruined. Your wife should not have to stand up to your mother. That is your mother, you need to talk to her. That doesn't mean you have to get disrespectful, but your wife needs to know what you are 100% on her team. If not, you are opening the door to more issues.

There is nothing to be stuck in the middle about. Your wife should be your priority. And if your mother wants to have a good relationship with you, she needs to understand that she can't keep making your wife feel uncomfortable.

Believe me I've tried. And my mom will go off and claim she won't talk to my wife anymore. After that things will get awkward until something else happens. Is it wrong that I want them to be friends? I just want peace...

 

[Soon]

You need to have your wife's back, or expect for your marriage to be ruined. Your wife should not have to stand up to your mother. That is your mother, you need to talk to her. That doesn't mean you have to get disrespectful, but your wife needs to know what you are 100% on her team. If not, you are opening the door to more issues.

There is nothing to be stuck in the middle about. Your wife should be your priority. And if your mother wants to have a good relationship with you, she needs to understand that she can't keep making your wife feel uncomfortable.

The wife needs her mom and grand mother around so they can handle it one way or the other. Seems like the wife is all alone in this world.

 

[sanityovar8ted]

You need to have your wife's back, or expect for your marriage to be ruined. Your wife should not have to stand up to your mother. That is your mother, you need to talk to her. That doesn't mean you have to get disrespectful, but your wife needs to know what you are 100% on her team. If not, you are opening the door to more issues.

There is nothing to be stuck in the middle about. Your wife should be your priority. And if your mother wants to have a good relationship with you, she needs to understand that she can't keep making your wife feel uncomfortable.

couldnt not have said it better myself

 

[Queen]

Believe me I've tried. And my mom will go off and claim she won't talk to my wife anymore. After that things will get awkward until something else happens. Is it wrong that I want them to be friends? I just want peace...

Then you need to be the peace maker. If you put it on your wife like, "you are grown so deal with it" not only is she going to have issues with your mother, but she is going to have issues with you. Do you want those problems in your life?

If she is already calling you a mamas boy then that means you haven't proven that you have her back when it comes to your mom. Maybe being friends is not what is going to happen right now. The first step is for your wife to feel like there is a basic level of respect. You need to set some boundaries because it should never get to the point where they are about to fight. You need to handle it if you don't want your marriage damaged.

 

[Rawtid]

You need to check your mom ASAP!! You said yourself that she can be rude and that's unacceptable doesnt matter if she's your mother or not.

 

[Black]

Is your name Raymond Barone?

 

[Taadow]

Off & On.

Like I remember when my son was born last year & my mom and grandma said something to wife about how she was breastfeeding and my wife got mad because I didn't check them. I'm just sick of them.

Aight my dowg, this what needs to happen.

You need to go Michael Jai White on "Why Did I Get Married" status, cuzzo.

You need to talk to both of them TOGETHER and tell them to blow that chit out.
Because ultimately, they BOTH need to understand that their bickering is taking
a toll on the only thing they have in common - you.
If they both got love for you, they need to chill out. All of y'all are family now,
and y'all need to act like it.

You need to be a hogg enough to say that to 'em - and back it up afterwards.