Relationship Violence Guideline

[Mr Rager]

You can't.

They need therapy and whoever they deal with has to be patient if they want to be with them. They won't ever get over it or forget.

As most things it takes time.

What is therapy supposed to do?
What if it affects the relationship?
The way this one girl would act in public, nikkas probably thought I was the abuser

 

[m0rninggl0ry]

Thanks honey.

I hate looking at chart. Because after my situation reading that chart was painful. I'm only a year out. Thanks so much.

I did too BUT its was like its deep. Women and same sex relationships are going through this and they dont even know because nobody showed them this wheel or think its taboo.

Let me ask you this, do you advise any woman or man to tell a partner that is courting them about their dv past ( victim or abuser)?

 

[m0rninggl0ry]

What is therapy supposed to do?
What if it affects the relationship?
The way this one girl would act in public, nikkas probably thought I was the abuser

Its best to take a break from her if she is exhibing that behavior. You are not a specialist!

Distressing memories, anxiety, blocks to intimacy, and trust issues are common in people who have experienced abuse, although many are able to overcome or minimize challenges like these with the help of a qualified mental health professional. They provide services for the purpose of improving an individual's mental health or to treat mental disorders.

 

[BrokePhiBroke]

What is therapy supposed to do?
What if it affects the relationship?
The way this one girl would act in public, nikkas probably thought I was the abuser

Therapy helps. A good therapist helps. I won't go into too much details but it's an individual bases.

Something is probably triggering her.
Sometimes victims bury things until they smell a scent, see something, hear something etc that reminds them of their abuse.

Sometimes when you think you've moved on someone who can have the same scent as a rapist, or abuser can trigger you and make you feel like your suffocating. I can't really explain this to you. At this point (if you are truly serious) therapy for yourself wouldn't hurt. It will help you understand. But that's ONLY if you are trying to build something solid.

 

[BrokePhiBroke]

I did too BUT its was like its deep. Women and same sex relationships are going through this and they dont even know because nobody showed them this wheel or think its taboo.

Let me ask you this, do you advise any woman or man to tell a partner that is courting them about their dv past ( victim or abuser)?

That's iffy.

I try not too because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Plus people may look at you differently. Victim blaming is such a thing and women sometimes blame other women for getting raped smh. People sometimes don't look at the offender themselves but that something was wrong with YOU. And don't get me wrong something may have been wrong with US (at the time of the abuse) deep down inside but it still doesn't make what the offender did any less of a crime.

I guess you can tell IF and only if it's really serious. But to see where the person head is at I'll probably have various talks about it as general convo. My cousin stopped dating a guy who felt that a women should have gotten over rape within four months.

It's all up to how you feel and if you think the person can be respectful and understanding.

 

[m0rninggl0ry]

That's iffy.

I try not too because I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Plus people may look at you differently. Victim blaming is such a thing and women sometimes blame other women for getting raped smh. People sometimes don't look at the offender themselves but that something was wrong with YOU. And don't get me wrong something may have been wrong with US (at the time of the abuse) deep down inside but it still doesn't make what the offender did any less of a crime.

I guess you can tell IF and only if it's really serious. But to see where the person head is at I'll probably have various talks about it as general convo. My cousin stopped dating a guy who felt that a women should have gotten over rape within four months.

It's all up to how you feel and if you think the person can be respectful and understanding.

I asked because this conversation reminded me of this conversation I had a decade back. This woman OG pimp at a salon and she told me verbatim " NEVER TELL A MAN ALL OF YOUR BUSINESS" I knew what she was referencing. She added, a man will use it against you.

Boy was she right!

 

[Chill]

I did too BUT its was like its deep. Women and same sex relationships are going through this and they dont even know because nobody showed them this wheel or think its taboo.

Let me ask you this, do you advise any woman or man to tell a partner that is courting them about their dv past ( victim or abuser)?

I'd say tell the person about the DV history if someone who was abused wasn't "at peace" with it still. Let them know what they could potentially deal with so they understand what certain behaviors are occurring. A lot of people don't actually take into account that maybe someone was abused until it's blatanty in their face and it clearly happens A LOT more often than most would think.

 

[BrokePhiBroke]

I asked because this conversation reminded me of this conversation I had a decade back. This woman OG pimp at a salon and she told me verbatim " NEVER TELL A MAN ALL OF YOUR BUSINESS" I knew what she was referencing. She added, a man will use it against you.

Boy was she right!

I fully agree however some things are hard too hide.

I find myself doing some strange things that even I would question myself about if i didnt know better. Sometime I have anxiety attacks and spaz out like a mad woman. That's not normal. You can scare people off. I have days where I just wanna be left alone. I just wanna stay in the house, in my room, in my bed. I don't even wanna eat. Just want people to leave me tf alone.

shyt is fresh. Thats why I don't want a relationship. That is why I don't bother. I don't want to be treated like a patient and I don't want anybody to be treated badly bc of some shyt "I" been through.

 

[m0rninggl0ry]

I fully agree however some things are hard too hide.

I find myself doing some strange things that even I would question myself about if i didnt know better. Sometime I have anxiety attacks and spaz out like a mad woman. That's not normal. You can scare people off. I have days where I just wanna be left alone. I just wanna stay in the house, in my room, in my bed. I don't even wanna eat. Just want people to leave me tf alone.

shyt is fresh. Thats why I don't want a relationship. That is why I don't bother. I don't want to be treated like a patient and I don't want anybody to be treated badly bc of some shyt "I" been through.

I was going to ask you was it fresh. Check your PM

 

[BedRoomI'z]

Thank God, I have been blessed to not have gone thru this and
my heart goes out to those who have and got out!

I had someone close to me, stay in it. But I hope he has
changed for her sake.

 

[BigMan]

Also ladies remember there is no profile for abuser; could be any race any shade any ethnicity any height any weight and body type any economic background any family structure etc.


Be safe tho

 

[BigMan]

Also ladies remember there is no profile for abuser; could be any race any shade any ethnicity any height any weight and body type any economic background any family structure etc.


Be safe tho

The ONLY solid predictor is if he has a history of abuse in his family

 

[Princess Coco]

This thread was so informational and NEEDED. Some women want help and to get out but just don't know how

 

[BabyGrl1990]

Thanks!

 

[m0rninggl0ry]

The ONLY solid predictor is if he has a history of abuse in his family

There is a pattern for sure.

His father did it to his mom, he did it to me

@Dip you never know a man until you live with him