Recent study finds that 60% of men under 30 are single due to social media and the internet

[AquaCityBoy]

Been thinking about this a lot lately. Even though men and male loneliness is centered a lot, I wonder how much of this is part of general societal shift we're in, which affects not only dating but also friendships and community building:

• People talk about how difficult it is to 'build community' yet treat everyone like they're NPCs;
• There's supposedly a 'male loneliness epidemic' yet women get on social media all the time complaining about how hard it is to find single men, how they go out and there are no single men around, how nobody approaches them, and how they go to singles events and there are barely any men there;
• Everybody hates dating apps but it's also socially unacceptable to meet or approach people anywhere in public;
• People complain about the lack of 'third spaces' but they would just become another place where it's socially unacceptable to meet people;
• People can barely make ends meet because wages are stagnant and food and COL are up, but we're having '50/50' and 'provider man' discourse every week;
• We're slowly getting back into the age of bullying, where if you like something somebody else doesn't they'll call you 'cringe' for it

I feel like a big part of all of this is just representative of the society we're in now, because people want to interact as humans do but everybody's fukking mean to each other.

 

[Neuromancer]

Do they care is probably a good question. If these men are happy then does it matter?

 

[winb83]

And this came from women and their view of me.

The reason why I do not like myself is because of years of rejection from women.

If I applied for a job I don’t get, I have no problem applying for another job because I’ve had years of validation about my intelligence and what I am capable of achieving.

I’ve never received validation from women


I cannot be a source of stability when I’ve never been validated by women.

How the hell can I validate something that’s never validated me.

That doesn’t even make sense.

Nikola Jokić was a 2nd round pick. That means pretty much every team in the NBA but one passed on him. He is arguably the best player in the NBA now but all those other teams passed on him. He's the man he always was and became who he was destined to be. One team took the chance on him and it paid off. Value isn't always apparent upfront. If you were him instead of being a multi-MVP and NBA champion you'd be out of the league because all those other teams passed and you went in the 2nd so it's their fault you didn't pan out.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

Nikola Jokić was a 2nd round pick. That means pretty much every team in the NBA but one passed on him. He is arguably the best player in the NBA now but all those other teams passed on him. He's the man he always was and became who he was destined to be. One team took the chance on him and it paid off. Value isn't always apparent upfront. If you were him instead of being a multi-MVP and NBA champion you'd be out of the league because all those other teams passed and you went in the 2nd so it's their fault you didn't pan out.

I'm sure Jokic was playing b ball since he was a child.
He knew he had the talent to be special so getting picked in the 2nd round wouldn't be soul shattering to him because regardless of those other teams passing him up, his skill was established enough in his own mindset but outside validation is where it came from.

Someone told him he was good enough.

Women have never done that for me.

 

[winb83]

I'm sure Jokic was playing b ball since he was a child.
He knew he had the talent to be special so getting picked in the 2nd round wouldn't be soil shattering to him because regardless of.tjose other teams passing him up, his skill was established enough in his own mindset but outside validation is where it came from.

Someone told him he was good enough.

Women have never done that for me.

All you have is excuses and rationalizations of why you can't. How could you ever? If you honestly believe you can't then you're right but not for the reasons you're leaning on but because of self-sabotage.

In life you have to go after the things you want that you don't have. You have to risk failure and face rejection. The rejection and failure you face isn't any more special than what others face. It hurts everyone not just you. I hate to give you the bootstrap talk but you'll never have what you want if you don't have the courage and conviction to seize it with your own hands and stop pointing the finger at others about why you don't have it.

You don't have a woman because of you. Not them. Women aren't a hive mind monolith. People are individuals. If they can't recognize your value that's their loss. That's the attitude required. Instead of they don't recognize my value therefore I have none. They don't create your value as a person you do. They simply observe the product you put out.

 

[BeeCityRoller]

What part of middle aged women don't want to deal with men trying to figure this out do y'all not understand

The average 35 year old man has children and more than likely dating after getting out of their previous relationship with their girlfriend/wife/mother of their kids.

A 35 year old woman has way more understanding to deal with that situation because more than likely she's in the same herself.

She is not wasting her time teaching a man how to hold hands.

Why do y'all make me feel like this is some ridiculous idea

I was with you earlier in this topic but its gotten more defeatist Black Pill as this thread went on. I've known about that space for over a decade so I know nobody is going to change your mind. I'm surprised some posters have entertained all of your responses throughout this thread.

I'm the same age as you and have limited dating experience. I purposely disregarded dating/relationships in my teen years and most of my twenties to get to some form of financial independence and find my place in this world.

I personally think you are using this as a crutch for other issues. Maybe its looks, harsh rejection from women that you mentioned earlier, or other personal goals you haven't hit yet. There is no background check women can do to find out you've only been with a prostitute. The biggest giveaway for that is conversation and social awareness. The average guys conversation, knowledge of current events, social awareness etc is mediocre yet they still get theirs. Dating itself varies, but the bar is not high if you've got the other tools I mentioned handled along with looking/dressing decent.

If you've made it to 35 and did not spend time dating, that time should have been spent building elsewhere. Secondary education and work gets you around them either way where you get some level of understanding of women.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

If they can't recognize your value that's their loss. That's the attitude required. Instead of they don't recognize my value therefore I have none.

I have value.

I understand my value will not lead me to being in a relationship because those "values" hold no weight for women or female attraction.

Those "values" are what got the first date initially.
I also understand my inexperience turns women off and if I had gotten worn when I was younger this wouldn't be a problem.

Because I didn't, women do not want to deal with a 35 year old with no experience.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I was with you earlier in this topic but its gotten more defeatist Black Pill as this thread went on. I've known about that space for over a decade so I know nobody is going to change your mind. I'm surprised some posters have entertained all of your responses throughout this thread.

I'm the same age as you and have limited dating experience. I purposely disregarded dating/relationships in my teen years and most of my twenties to get to some form of financial independence and find my place in this world.

I personally think you are using this as a crutch for other issues. Maybe its looks, harsh rejection from women that you mentioned earlier, or other personal goals you haven't hit yet. There is no background check women can do to find out you've only been with a prostitute. The biggest giveaway for that is conversation and social awareness. The average guys conversation, knowledge of current events, social awareness etc is mediocre yet they still get theirs. Dating itself varies, but the bar is not high if you've got the other tools I mentioned handled along with looking/dressing decent.

If you've made it to 35 and did not spend time dating, that time should have been spent building elsewhere. Secondary education and work gets you around them either way where you get some level of understanding of women.

Knowing how to work around women has nothing to do with attracting them.

I know how to talk to women at work.

 

[Shadow King]

Been thinking about this a lot lately. Even though men and male loneliness is centered a lot, I wonder how much of this is part of general societal shift we're in, which affects not only dating but also friendships and community building:

• People talk about how difficult it is to 'build community' yet treat everyone like they're NPCs;
• There's supposedly a 'male loneliness epidemic' yet women get on social media all the time complaining about how hard it is to find single men, how they go out and there are no single men around, how nobody approaches them, and how they go to singles events and there are barely any men there;
• Everybody hates dating apps but it's also socially unacceptable to meet or approach people anywhere in public;
• People complain about the lack of 'third spaces' but they would just become another place where it's socially unacceptable to meet people;
• People can barely make ends meet because wages are stagnant and food and COL are up, but we're having '50/50' and 'provider man' discourse every week;
• We're slowly getting back into the age of bullying, where if you like something somebody else doesn't they'll call you 'cringe' for it

I feel like a big part of all of this is just representative of the society we're in now, because people want to interact as humans do but everybody's fukking mean to each other.

Dropped your gimmick?

 

[KidJSoul]

This. Cold approaching was a tried and true method (at least in the black community) that was very socially acceptable, and kats could kick game for hours about tricks and tactics that would now be considered weird IF the dude using them isn't attractive.

THEN, them níggas could seamlessly transition to dating apps back when they were in their infancy and weren't flooded with bots and hookers. Women now have options that are in another state.

AND they had the early versions of social media platforms like MySpace where your profile was enough to snag women.

AND they were using said social media before clout chasing, high-key escort ads, and self-advertisment were rampant.

That's not even getting into the financial positives of finding women back then. A dude working on the line at Hyundai could afford a decent house and a decent car with his bills paid, and still have money for fun DOLO pre-recession. That was enough to bag high-quality women.

And, no, I don't want to hear about the one nígga, who is an outlier, because he's a bum with a career woman. That shít isn't normal...

And women seemed more into the the everyday dude back then


I think a lot of dudes nowadays lack masculine charm.

I'm not a conservative, but I think the deemphasis on making men be masculine, and the discourse about breaking gender roles has hurt the average man's sex appeal.

Women have an easier time being appealing since their appeal is visual, and most men will fukk anything.

But for men, only a few men are THAT good looking that a woman will want to fukk just off a picture alone. For a lot of dudes, they shine when they are actually up close and in person, where their presence and voice stick out.

But modern society has ruined that.

 

[winb83]

I have value.

I understand my value will not lead me to being in a relationship because those "values" hold no weight for women or female attraction.

Those "values" are what got the first date initially.
I also understand my inexperience turns women off and if I had gotten worn when I was younger this wouldn't be a problem.

Because I didn't, women do not want to deal with a 35 year old with no experience.

I mean you have a clear deep rooted sense of entitlement to having a woman. As a man you seem to feel simply because you exist women should be receptive to you and if they aren't it's their fault and you're a victim of them. It doesn't occur to you that this is a challenge for you to step up to. It doesn't occur to you to improve yourself and become a man they find desirable.

That's the mind frame of an incel. They should want me because I exist and since they don't it's their fault. There is no burden on me to be desirable. The problem is them. Bitterness develops from that victim mind frame. Your situation is your fault and it won't change not because of them but because you won't accept responsibility for it nor will you change it.

There's nothing wrong with not dating if it's the life you chose. The fact that you point the finger at them for why you haven't been dating indicates its not something you feel like you chose it's something you feel like you were forced into by them.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I mean you have a clear deep rooted sense of entitlement to having a woman.

Wrong.

I've been saying for years no man is entitled to women.

You're 100% wrong labeling me as entitled.

That's you projecting.

I'm literally in here saying women are not attracted to me, there's nothing I can do about it because that destiny was set prior to me even paying attention to women.

And I'm not the guy who believes you are supposed to get women because you have a job, live alone and have disposable income.

There is no checklist you reach that suddenly grants you access to women.

Women choose who they are attracted to and women chose me as not being attractive at single digit age.

 

[Contrarian]

Touching grass solves a lot, but not everything.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

The fact that you point the finger at them for why you haven't been dating indicates its not something you feel like you chose it's something you feel like you were forced into by them.

Exactly.

Like I said more than once, women shaped my self esteem when it comes to being desirable to them.

I didn't choose to be ridiculed and humiliated to the point of feeling like less than a man.

That's what they did to me.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I was with you earlier in this topic but its gotten more defeatist Black Pill as this thread went on. I've known about that space for over a decade so I know nobody is going to change your mind. I'm surprised some posters have entertained all of your responses throughout this thread.

I'm the same age as you and have limited dating experience. I purposely disregarded dating/relationships in my teen years and most of my twenties to get to some form of financial independence and find my place in this world.

I personally think you are using this as a crutch for other issues. Maybe its looks, harsh rejection from women that you mentioned earlier, or other personal goals you haven't hit yet. There is no background check women can do to find out you've only been with a prostitute. The biggest giveaway for that is conversation and social awareness. The average guys conversation, knowledge of current events, social awareness etc is mediocre yet they still get theirs. Dating itself varies, but the bar is not high if you've got the other tools I mentioned handled along with looking/dressing decent.

If you've made it to 35 and did not spend time dating, that time should have been spent building elsewhere. Secondary education and work gets you around them either way where you get some level of understanding of women.

What does knowing about social events have to do with getting women?

And what age did women sexually validate you?