Recent study finds that 60% of men under 30 are single due to social media and the internet

[spacewraith]

• Everybody hates dating apps but it's also socially unacceptable to meet or approach people anywhere in public;

I feel like this gets overlooked often. If you can't pull on dating apps and can't approach in every day settings, an introverted person that doesn't frequent active social spaces where you'd expect women to be open to being approached (clubs/ bars etc.) gets the short end of the stick.

 

[winb83]

Exactly.

Like I said more than once, women shaped my self esteem when it comes to being desirable to them.

I didn't choose to be ridiculed and humiliated to the point of feeling like less than a man.

That's what they did to me.

You shaped your own self-esteem. Those women reacted to what you presented them. They reacted to your behavior. When you saw their negative reaction you could have decided to make adjustments and figure it out. You decided instead not to and determined yourself undatable.

If you go on many job interviews and don't land a job you make adjustments in your approach and figure it out until you get one. You don't pack it up and say I interviewed several times and I am unemployable.

The moment you accept responsibility for your behavior and the results it got you is the moment you stand a chance at getting different results. Until then you're stuck and you are the reason why you're stuck.

Somewhere in this song there's something to be learned. Something to do with how people react to what's presented and when what's presented partially changes so can their reactions.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

You shaped your own self-esteem. Those women reacted to what you presented them. They reacted to your behavior. When you saw their negative reaction you could have decided to make adjustments and figure it out. You decided instead not to and determined yourself undatable.

If you go on many job interviews and don't land a job you make adjustments in your approach and figure it out until you get one. You don't pack it up and say I interviewed several times and I am unemployable.

The moment you accept responsibility for your behavior and the results it got you is the moment you stand a chance at getting different results. Until then you're stuck and you are the reason why you're stuck.

Somewhere in this song there's something to be learned. Something to do with how people react to what's presented and when what's presented partially changes so can their reactions.

I'm not sure what I was supposed to do in the 4th grade when the joke for girls was to have another girl walk up to me and say "so and so likes you"

The joke was that I was so disgusting the idea of her liking me was a prank.

There was nothing about my behavior I could've changed at 9.
I guess I was supposed to be thinking about my self esteem and playing the numbers game and asking for numbers then?

Because that's when it started. Before I was even interested in women.

I should've have had the ability at 9 to see a woman would like me for who I am, even though all my interactions with women have been negative?

Nobody played a bigger a role in shaping how I felt about myself than women.

 

[winb83]

I'm not sure what I was supposed to do in the 4th grade when the joke for girls was to have another girl walk up to me and say "so and so likes you"

The joke was that I was so disgusting the idea of her liking me was a prank.

There was nothing about my behavior I could've changed at 9.
I guess I was supposed to be thinking about my self esteem and playing the numbers game and asking for numbers then?

Because that's when it started. Before I was even interested in women.

I should've have had the ability at 9 to see a woman would like me for who I am, even though all my interactions with women have been negative?

Nobody played a bigger a role in shaping how I felt about myself than women.

You a grown ass man talking about what ignorant children who likely believed in stuff like cooties said like you living in the shadow of that.

As a man in your mid-30s I can’t believe you’re seriously leaning on something like that. I’m talking about you today not a child.

You don’t deserve a woman and that’s why you don’t have one. A woman wants a man that makes her feel safe. A mentally stable man that is dependable and has himself together. Any woman that steps into your life will have to build you up from the ground up and your frame of mind will always be dependent on her. Who wants that? That’s like having a young child.

You are an adult that can’t even accept responsibility for your own circumstances. Of course nobody wants to be with you.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

You a grown ass man talking about what ignorant children who likely believed in stuff like cooties said like you living in the shadow of that.

As a man in your mid-30s I can’t believe you’re seriously leaning on something like that. I’m talking about you today not a child.

You don’t deserve a woman and that’s why you don’t have one. A woman wants a man that makes her feel safe. A mentally stable man that is dependable and has himself together. Any woman that steps into your life will have to build you up from the ground up and your frame of mind will always be dependent on her. Who wants that? That’s like having a young child.

You are an adult that can’t even accept responsibility for your own circumstances. Of course nobody wants to be with you.

I can move up to college when I was at orientation and our instructor told us to say hi to the person to the left and right of you.

I had a corner seat and the woman to the right ofe refused to turn and say hi to me.

You wouldn't know what that makes you feel like as a human being.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

Any woman that steps into your life will have to build you up from the ground up and your frame of mind will always be dependent on her. Who wants that? That’s like having a young child.

Exactly. And this is because I've never been validated as sexually desirable by women.

Like I said, a woman doesn't want to deal with that much inexperience

 

[AAKing23]

Exactly. And this is because I've never been validated as sexually desirable by women.

Like I said, a woman doesn't want to deal with that much inexperience

Bro one thing that helped me to relax that I’ve learned in my life is that in every field, no matter what level of expertise, experience or discipline….everybody is fukking winging it and doesn’t really know what the fukk they’re doing. They are just improvising, failing and trying shyt in real time.

At some point you have to act like you belong when it comes to dealing with women despite whatever level of experience you are at. You can’t let it shape your narrative or write your ending

 

[The ADD]

Exactly. And this is because I've never been validated as sexually desirable by women.

Like I said, a woman doesn't want to deal with that much inexperience

Yeah but what he’s saying is different than the type of inexperience you’ve mentioned. He’s talking about you as a person and your confidence in who you are at your core. whereas you mentioned certain things dating sexual experience, etc.

 

[The ADD]

Bro one thing that helped me to relax that I’ve learned in my life is that in every field, no matter what level of expertise, experience or discipline….everybody is fukking winging it and doesn’t really know what the fukk they’re doing. They are just improvising, failing and trying shyt in real time.

At some point you have to act like you belong when it comes to dealing with women despite whatever level of experience you are at. You can’t let it shape your narrative or write your ending

Imposter Syndrome is real……

 

[010101]

0 1 2 3 4 5 6*

 

[winb83]

Exactly. And this is because I've never been validated as sexually desirable by women.

Like I said, a woman doesn't want to deal with that much inexperience

You're absolutely right women mostly don't want an inexperienced man but only really you know your level of experience. If you step to them the majority of women will end up letting you down easy and as they do you figure out your approach and tinker with it.

Again your problem is you. It's hard to accept responsibility for yourself and your situation. It's much easier to point the finger at others and say not my fault nothing I can do.

Some people encounter an obstacle and they say I'm going to do whatever it takes to get this handled and go on to succeed. Other people encounter an obstacle and fold up. There's some hard truths you should face about yourself and the primary 2 is #1 you feel entitled to having a woman and don't really feel like you should put in any work to be desirable to them and #2 you're deeply afraid of rejection and you'd rather play mind games with yourself than acknowledge that fear.

You can't even begin to solve a problem if you can't acknowledge it exist. If you keep blaming other people for your circumstances they will never change. I was a late bloomer. I lost my virginity my 1st year of college. I talked to girls that had way more experience than me. That's why I can say all of the shit you talking about with experience really doesn't matter. Fake it. I know I did.

You got 100 excuses of why you can't face your fear but they're just that excuses. The reality is you're afraid and you don't want to face that.

 

[Cloutius Maximus]

Exactly. And this is because I've never been validated as sexually desirable by women.

Like I said, a woman doesn't want to deal with that much inexperience

bro just lie.

Women lie all the damn time.

They lie about the time they sold coochie on Backpage for a couple weekends to get money for car repairs.

They lie about the abortion(s) they've had. They lie about being an abusive mother. They lie about being broke, They lie about being sober. Just fukking lie and by the time she finds out you have no experience you probably already smashed. That will at least get the ball rolling with getting your confidence up.

You know why women lie? To get things they wouldn't get if they were more honest. If you want a relationship and can't get one being honest, just lie. And use numbers game to your advantage, you need to start over and just assume women want you and keep going like the fukking Terminator until you approach 100 women. Everything that happened before this moment doesn't matter anymore. Even if you pulled a bunch of women in the past, no one cares today, what are u doing TODAY?

 

[winb83]

bro just lie.

Women lie all the damn time.

They lie about the time they sold coochie on Backpage for a couple weekends to get money for car repairs.

They lie about the abortion(s) they've had. They lie about being an abusive mother. They lie about being broke, They lie about being sober. Just fukking lie and by the time she finds out you have no experience you probably already smashed. That will at least get the ball rolling with getting your confidence up.

You know why women lie? To get things they wouldn't get if they were more honest. If you want a relationship and can't get one being honest, just lie. And use numbers game to your advantage, you need to start over and just assume women want you and keep going like the fukking Terminator until you approach 100 women. Everything that happened before this moment doesn't matter anymore. Even if you pulled a bunch of women in the past, no one cares today, what are u doing TODAY?

In an ideal world he just fakes it till he makes it. He talks to women and pretends to be experienced enough gets a few in bed and some, maybe even many, will drop him when they figure out he doesn't know what he's doing. He adjust his approach and figures it out on the fly. Eventually he develops enough to be successful.

The reality is he doesn't want to face any rejection. He will go to extreme lengths to not even think about it even saying stuff like no woman wants him and would ever want him. If it's their fault he doesn't ever have to face failure and he can feel like it's somebody else's responsibility why it's not happening for him. He never has to face reality and admit it's him and his fears driving this not somebody else.

 

[Shadow King]

I'm not as nihilistic as @Mandarin Duck (though I am actively forgoing dating) but I understand where dude is coming from on a psychological/developmental level.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

#1 you feel entitled to having a woman and don't really feel like you should put in any work to be desirable to them

You've tried more than once to say I'm entitled to women and I've already said more than once that isn't true.

No man is entitled to women.

You got the wrong person.

Fake it. I know I did.

Experience doesn't matter or lie to women about my experience?

Which is it?

The fact that y'all keep mentioning lies tells me I know I'm right and y'all just don't want to admit it.