Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[MikelArteta]

Serious question fam:

All good relationships have an element of compromise. How flexible are overall is she has say 8.5 out of 10 check points with what she doesn't have being easily explainable?

A woman won't compromise on a man shorter than her, or working a dead end job etc. etc.

My checkpoints can't be compromised. I can't compromise loyalty, I can't compromise her respecting me and viewing me as valuable. I can't compromise her morals etc., I can't compromise on a woman building with me.

I can't compromise on things like these and others when this will probably be a woman I could see myself marrying.

My checkpoints aren't some 5'9 slim but curvy in the right places, perfect teeth a great career etc., but my checkpoints are stuff that I just can't compromise on.

 

[The ADD]

A woman won't compromise on a man shorter than her, or working a dead end job etc. etc.

My checkpoints can't be compromised. I can't compromise loyalty, I can't compromise her respecting me and viewing me as valuable. I can't compromise her morals etc., I can't compromise on a woman building with me.

I can't compromise on things like these and others when this will probably be a woman I could see myself marrying.

My checkpoints aren't some 5'9 slim but curvy in the right places, perfect teeth a great career etc., but my checkpoints are stuff that I just can't compromise on.

 

[MikelArteta]

I had like an awakening. If your not spiritual/religious you may laugh or whatever but for years and years I applied for jobs, sometimes I got interviews but it never went further, I resigned myself to shrugs maybe this is it. This is the best I can do. My current gig isn't bad but the travel time is ridiculous, the pay isn't bad but I know I'm worth more and it wasn't until early this year I started changing my life around, started to tithe started to pray about getting a new job. knowing my value.

And I was just thinking how if my brother in law didn't lose his job and was unemployed for almost a year then finally found a job but it was a hour and a half drive each way. He loved the job but the travel was horrible especially with 3 young children so he applied and got the job at the hospital running the finance department. Everyone in that department has been there for 10 plus years zero openings until one happened when someone left and that led me to getting it.

It was like this was for me, it's literally just a 15 minute drive. There is a gym onsite that will also save me money from signing up at a gym, my boss is family and he will put me in every position to succeed.

And then the other day I was just talking to my brother in law because he was at the wedding I photographed and he jokingly asked me when is it your turn. And I said never and then yesterday he met up with me just to give me some tips on the job but he also talked to me about marriage. He told me after his failed engagement he just prayed to God for what he wanted in a wife and just lived his life and awhile later he met my sister and she was everything he asked for and more. He stopped pursuing and looking and just left it up to God to take the wheel.

So that's the stance I'm taking, I'm not wasting my time on seasonal transient chicks I already know it won't last. I'm just going to live my life and pray what I want in a woman and if it's meant to be God will provide just like he provided me this job and if not then shrugs. I've done it all brehs, cavorting and canoodling with dimes, I've been engaged, been cheated on, stds and hiv scares, abortions, miscarriage. I don't need a woman to complete my journey in my life, I just decided to allow God to take over the wheel now.

That's what I mean by the next woman I'm committed to will be my wife.

Like I said if your not religious or a christian etc. you'll laugh and think its funny or whatever but if you lived my life you would understand.

 

[PlainSight]

I had like an awakening. If your not spiritual/religious you may laugh or whatever but for years and years I applied for jobs, sometimes I got interviews but it never went further, I resigned myself to shrugs maybe this is it. This is the best I can do. My current gig isn't bad but the travel time is ridiculous, the pay isn't bad but I know I'm worth more and it wasn't until early this year I started changing my life around, started to tithe started to pray about getting a new job. knowing my value.

And I was just thinking how if my brother in law didn't lose his job and was unemployed for almost a year then finally found a job but it was a hour and a half drive each way. He loved the job but the travel was horrible especially with 3 young children so he applied and got the job at the hospital running the finance department. Everyone in that department has been there for 10 plus years zero openings until one happened when someone left and that led me to getting it.

It was like this was for me, it's literally just a 15 minute drive. There is a gym onsite that will also save me money from signing up at a gym, my boss is family and he will put me in every position to succeed.

And then the other day I was just talking to my brother in law because he was at the wedding I photographed and he jokingly asked me when is it your turn. And I said never and then yesterday he met up with me just to give me some tips on the job but he also talked to me about marriage. He told me after his failed engagement he just prayed to God for what he wanted in a wife and just lived his life and awhile later he met my sister and she was everything he asked for and more. He stopped pursuing and looking and just left it up to God to take the wheel.

So that's the stance I'm taking, I'm not wasting my time on seasonal transient chicks I already know it won't last. I'm just going to live my life and pray what I want in a woman and if it's meant to be God will provide just like he provided me this job and if not then shrugs. I've done it all brehs, cavorting and canoodling with dimes, I've been engaged, been cheated on, stds and hiv scares, abortions, miscarriage. I don't need a woman to complete my journey in my life, I just decided to allow God to take over the wheel now.

That's what I mean by the next woman I'm committed to will be my wife.

Like I said if your not religious or a christian etc. you'll laugh and think its funny or whatever but if you lived my life you would understand.

I'm not religious but I understand bro

 

[MikelArteta]

I'm not religious but I understand bro

To me as well what comes down to in terms of dealing with women. A woman will like you or she won't like you, you can't fight attraction and you can't create it. All of these tricks spending money etc. is worthless and useless and I can say that from experience.

I'm not even here looking for pity or whatever, but I wouldn't wish what I've been through the past 7 years on anyone. I'm talking about like being 20k in cc debt, credit in ruin, two car accidents one in which i was nearly 30 seconds from drowning, heart problems in and out of the hospital for like a year, at one point i was like 5'10 125lbs because i could barely eat , friends abandoning me, putting 3 dollars gas in my car because that's all I could afford, paying 800 a month for car insurance , failed engagement, name slandered, almost lost my job twice. Had to live with a cheating ex for 3 months , But you know what everything happens for a reason and as long as you draw breath and keep the faith

I've gone from someone who sometimes could only afford 3 dollars gas to travelling all over the world.

I've gone from someone whose heart would race just walking down stairs to probably running in a marathon in a few months.

It's just like right now my life is finally starting, great job, great health, no more hatred or bitterness in my heart.

 

[Youseenmywork]

I had like an awakening. If your not spiritual/religious you may laugh or whatever but for years and years I applied for jobs, sometimes I got interviews but it never went further, I resigned myself to shrugs maybe this is it. This is the best I can do. My current gig isn't bad but the travel time is ridiculous, the pay isn't bad but I know I'm worth more and it wasn't until early this year I started changing my life around, started to tithe started to pray about getting a new job. knowing my value.

And I was just thinking how if my brother in law didn't lose his job and was unemployed for almost a year then finally found a job but it was a hour and a half drive each way. He loved the job but the travel was horrible especially with 3 young children so he applied and got the job at the hospital running the finance department. Everyone in that department has been there for 10 plus years zero openings until one happened when someone left and that led me to getting it.

It was like this was for me, it's literally just a 15 minute drive. There is a gym onsite that will also save me money from signing up at a gym, my boss is family and he will put me in every position to succeed.

And then the other day I was just talking to my brother in law because he was at the wedding I photographed and he jokingly asked me when is it your turn. And I said never and then yesterday he met up with me just to give me some tips on the job but he also talked to me about marriage. He told me after his failed engagement he just prayed to God for what he wanted in a wife and just lived his life and awhile later he met my sister and she was everything he asked for and more. He stopped pursuing and looking and just left it up to God to take the wheel.

So that's the stance I'm taking, I'm not wasting my time on seasonal transient chicks I already know it won't last. I'm just going to live my life and pray what I want in a woman and if it's meant to be God will provide just like he provided me this job and if not then shrugs. I've done it all brehs, cavorting and canoodling with dimes, I've been engaged, been cheated on, stds and hiv scares, abortions, miscarriage. I don't need a woman to complete my journey in my life, I just decided to allow God to take over the wheel now.

That's what I mean by the next woman I'm committed to will be my wife.

Like I said if your not religious or a christian etc. you'll laugh and think its funny or whatever but if you lived my life you would understand.

I can honestly say that in my own way i have given up on women. I believe each year that i live women's value goes downs. So these days I take that energy and put it in other area of my life. I get questions like "when are you going to get married" "do you want a family at all ?" . At this stage in life i dont see myself getting married or having kids . Sad to some brehs in this thread i dont pray about it. I have my journal and in it i have a list of qualities and values that i would want in a wife. I believe that im on the path to be all of the things i wrote in my journal ...but the women that i have dealt with dont meet half of these values or qualities.

When i pray at night before i go to before i go to bed to my lord and savior jesus christ i pray for things as a man that i SINCERELY believe that is going to make me better. I also pray about my fears and insecurities. I cant bring myself to pray about a wife because it not something i care about nor would it be sincere....plus i let it all out when i pray. I believe jesus is going to grant me a happy ending with a lot of things in this life ...i just dont believe that is going to be with women .

 

[Youseenmywork]

@Emperor_ReinScarf @kevm3 I was having a conversation with a women an we were talking about everything under tha sun. We got on the topic of relationships and she said something that i couldnt help but think there was more to it just the way she said it. She said " I dont need a man to validate me" when a women say this what are they really saying, or am i just reading too much into it ?

 

[O.iatlhawksfan]

I had like an awakening. If your not spiritual/religious you may laugh or whatever but for years and years I applied for jobs, sometimes I got interviews but it never went further, I resigned myself to shrugs maybe this is it. This is the best I can do. My current gig isn't bad but the travel time is ridiculous, the pay isn't bad but I know I'm worth more and it wasn't until early this year I started changing my life around, started to tithe started to pray about getting a new job. knowing my value.

And I was just thinking how if my brother in law didn't lose his job and was unemployed for almost a year then finally found a job but it was a hour and a half drive each way. He loved the job but the travel was horrible especially with 3 young children so he applied and got the job at the hospital running the finance department. Everyone in that department has been there for 10 plus years zero openings until one happened when someone left and that led me to getting it.

It was like this was for me, it's literally just a 15 minute drive. There is a gym onsite that will also save me money from signing up at a gym, my boss is family and he will put me in every position to succeed.

And then the other day I was just talking to my brother in law because he was at the wedding I photographed and he jokingly asked me when is it your turn. And I said never and then yesterday he met up with me just to give me some tips on the job but he also talked to me about marriage. He told me after his failed engagement he just prayed to God for what he wanted in a wife and just lived his life and awhile later he met my sister and she was everything he asked for and more. He stopped pursuing and looking and just left it up to God to take the wheel.

So that's the stance I'm taking, I'm not wasting my time on seasonal transient chicks I already know it won't last. I'm just going to live my life and pray what I want in a woman and if it's meant to be God will provide just like he provided me this job and if not then shrugs. I've done it all brehs, cavorting and canoodling with dimes, I've been engaged, been cheated on, stds and hiv scares, abortions, miscarriage. I don't need a woman to complete my journey in my life, I just decided to allow God to take over the wheel now.

That's what I mean by the next woman I'm committed to will be my wife.

Like I said if your not religious or a christian etc. you'll laugh and think its funny or whatever but if you lived my life you would understand.

The law of attraction homie. Just keep visualizing it and at some point yu gon live it

 

[Spliff]

Never took the saying "Men hit their prime late 20's" seriously til I began to live it.


That aura you give off knowing your shyts finally together and on the upswing is potent

 

[kevm3]

@Emperor_ReinScarf @kevm3 I was having a conversation with a women an we were talking about everything under tha sun. We got on the topic of relationships and she said something that i couldnt help but think there was more to it just the way she said it. She said " I dont need a man to validate me" when a women say this what are they really saying, or am i just reading too much into it ?

Sounds like she's been sipping on that "i'm miss independent" kool-aid and has probably have had a couple of bad experiences with men in her past, so she's in the mindset that she doesn't need a man to be happy kind of thing.

I wouldn't read into it too much, but you might hear more of that miss independent talk come out her mouth.

 

[kevm3]

I can honestly say that in my own way i have given up on women. I believe each year that i live women's value goes downs. So these days I take that energy and put it in other area of my life. I get questions like "when are you going to get married" "do you want a family at all ?" . At this stage in life i dont see myself getting married or having kids . Sad to some brehs in this thread i dont pray about it. I have my journal and in it i have a list of qualities and values that i would want in a wife. I believe that im on the path to be all of the things i wrote in my journal ...but the women that i have dealt with dont meet half of these values or qualities.

When i pray at night before i go to before i go to bed to my lord and savior jesus christ i pray for things as a man that i SINCERELY believe that is going to make me better. I also pray about my fears and insecurities. I cant bring myself to pray about a wife because it not something i care about nor would it be sincere....plus i let it all out when i pray. I believe jesus is going to grant me a happy ending with a lot of things in this life ...i just dont believe that is going to be with women .

It's just the times we're living with. I'd love to have a nice family, but the overall society is so corrupted that that's hard to find. No need to sit around here stressing yourself out on something that may or may not come around. Better to be single and free than single down the line and divorced with some scandalous woman draining your financial resources and preventing you from seeing your kid. Quality is of utmost importance in a woman, and if the quality isn't there, never try to fabricate it and accept morally bankrupt women in order to 'just have someone around...' because they won't be there when you need them most.

Keep the faith in Jesus. That's what's most important.

 

[kevm3]

To me as well what comes down to in terms of dealing with women. A woman will like you or she won't like you, you can't fight attraction and you can't create it. All of these tricks spending money etc. is worthless and useless and I can say that from experience.

I'm not even here looking for pity or whatever, but I wouldn't wish what I've been through the past 7 years on anyone. I'm talking about like being 20k in cc debt, credit in ruin, two car accidents one in which i was nearly 30 seconds from drowning, heart problems in and out of the hospital for like a year, at one point i was like 5'10 125lbs because i could barely eat , friends abandoning me, putting 3 dollars gas in my car because that's all I could afford, paying 800 a month for car insurance , failed engagement, name slandered, almost lost my job twice. Had to live with a cheating ex for 3 months , But you know what everything happens for a reason and as long as you draw breath and keep the faith

I've gone from someone who sometimes could only afford 3 dollars gas to travelling all over the world.

I've gone from someone whose heart would race just walking down stairs to probably running in a marathon in a few months.

It's just like right now my life is finally starting, great job, great health, no more hatred or bitterness in my heart.

Sometimes God lets you go through the storm so you can appreciate His blessings on your life more, and it ultimately causes us to realize that much of the blessings in our life are not from our own smarts or savvy, but rather the blessings He has bestowed upon us.

When you're down, you also learn who's really real and who isn't. It's sort of like a tempering process where all the chaff and weakness is melted away and only the solid remains.

 

[MikelArteta]

its stuff like this that gets me angry, but salute to the husband

I guess I start with my story. When I met my husband he was everything I ever wanted in a man. He was bold and exciting, fun to be around and everyone gravitated to him. He seemed invincible to me. At the time he was a competitive fighter and although a very nice person he had a habit ofstarting trouble when we would be out with friends drinking. Nothing tooserious but he liked to fight and I always found it a huge turn on. We spent a yeardating and then moved in together and soon after became pregnant with our firstof 2 sons. We were not in a great place financially when we had our first child as myhusband was still in university, but he promised me he would make a greatlife for us. He did exactly as he said he would and worked very hard to build agreat career and very comfortable life for our family. 15 years later we livein a very nice neighbourhood with our children in great schools, able to playall the sports they would like and we lack for nothing. Our sex life was always very good and my husband continued to train in kickboxing so he was very sexyand fit. He was loving and attentive to me and did everything a woman couldever want from her man.


Our problem started when I began to feel bored with life. I was attending PTAmeetings and running our kids from school to sports practice and back again. Ihad been going out a few times a week with a group of moms from the kid’sschool and sports and we would have a few drinks and dance and have a goodtime. One of the moms who was recently divorced brought along a guy she wa sseeing and a few of his friends one night. All of these guys were bodybuilder type guys and they were so brash and almost obnoxious, but they seemed so confident and edgy I just felt attracted almost immediately. Theywere so different than our safe and wholesome family life several of the womanmade comments and we joked about how sexy they were. One of them was being very attentive to me and we spent a long time talking that night and hegave me his number. I knew of course I was being foolish but I just didn't seethe danger. We began texting each other and as you can imagine it didn't takelong to go further. We had sex 2 times in the following month and although the sex was better with my husband something about tawdry way my AP acted and treated me made me feel excited and naughty. I was such an idiot.

One night I was out with the moms group and had too much to drink when my AP and 1 of his friends showed up. I was thrilled to see him although we had strict rules about how we behaved in public as usual his attitude was thathe didn't care and because of the drinking I let my guard down and wasn't asad amant about no contact in public. He would keep slapping my butt when hethought no one was looking and touching me under the table where no one couldsee. Well people could see and we were not being as sneaky as we thought. One of the moms from the group was leaving and her husband saw what was going on and called my husband.


I thought I was so clever telling the group we were with that he was just drivingme home along with his friend but I believe by now they were all aware of whatI was doing. As we left the bar and walked to his car he started grabbing at memore and more and lifting my skirt right in front of his friends. In my intoxicated state I made a half-hearted attempt to tell him to stop but wasgiggling and playing along. I didn't realise at the time but my husband was walking just behind us and saw all of this. When we reached his car he grabbed me and gave me adeep kiss that lasted a long time. As soon as we stopped kissing I realised hisfriend was talking to someone on the other side of the car. I looked over andmy heart fell. It was my husband of 15 years.
He was so calm looking but so angry at the same time. He told AP that I was his wife and to get his hands off. AP immediately puffed out hischest and told my husband that he would be smart to run away and forget what hesaw. I was so ashamed and for my husband to have to be a part of my APs taunts was something beyond terrible. I could see AP’s friend already walking around behind my husband and I just knew they were going to hurt him. My husband stood staring me in the eye with the most disappointment I could ever imagine insomeone, it absolutely broke my heart. My husband is who he is and to my disbelief AP and his friend did not hurt him much but rather after a few minutes struggle AP and his friend both lay on the ground bleeding an dbattered. I could hear AP whimpering and asking my husband to stop but he stoodover him hitting him again and again. I thought he was going to kill him and I yelled for him to please stop. He did stop immediately but again turned to look at me with that horrible disappointment in his eyes. He told me later he saw myplea to stop as choosing AP over him.


Since that night he will not even talk to me about what happened. He has never askedme any questions and within a week had rented me a condo close by and moved meout of our family home. Almost exactly a month after the incident he had me served divorce papers and refuses to speak to me about any of it. My children know what happened as of course so many people we know were there to witness andpeople always talk. There was some brief legal trouble for my husband becauseof the fight but I believe that has been resolved with little issue for himthank goodness. I am so ashamed of myself. I am so desperate for help here. Iknow I don’t deserve a second chance but all I can think of is that I foolishlytraded in my lion for a chance to run with hyenas. Now I see that I had thereal tough guy/bad boy already and betrayed him with a pitiful pretender.


I see some much on here from BS about doing so much to try to R with WW and Ionly dream of that chance. How can I get him to give me a second chance when hewill not even talk to me? He seems like he has completely moved on already andit is such a difference from the man who I knew before, so cold and emotionlesswhen we talk. I know I am the bad guy here but I can’t tell you the level of despair and depression I have come to know. Please any advice anyone has to offer onhow I can even get him to talk to me about this. I know I am likely to be bashed here and I deserve that but please please anything that might help us to recover.

 

[MikelArteta]

I can honestly say that in my own way i have given up on women. I believe each year that i live women's value goes downs. So these days I take that energy and put it in other area of my life. I get questions like "when are you going to get married" "do you want a family at all ?" . At this stage in life i dont see myself getting married or having kids . Sad to some brehs in this thread i dont pray about it. I have my journal and in it i have a list of qualities and values that i would want in a wife. I believe that im on the path to be all of the things i wrote in my journal ...but the women that i have dealt with dont meet half of these values or qualities.

When i pray at night before i go to before i go to bed to my lord and savior jesus christ i pray for things as a man that i SINCERELY believe that is going to make me better. I also pray about my fears and insecurities. I cant bring myself to pray about a wife because it not something i care about nor would it be sincere....plus i let it all out when i pray. I believe jesus is going to grant me a happy ending with a lot of things in this life ...i just dont believe that is going to be with women .

To me I don't care as well if I get married or have kids, its not something I desire that I'll die or cry or feel lonely etc. without it. All I meant by praying is that I'm leaving it up to God's hand aka the direction of my life.
Maybe I'm meant to be married and have kids one day, maybe not. Just that all the times I say longed for a relationship or a woman in the past and put myself out there so to speak.
Dating sites/apps, etc. it always ended horribly. So now I just leave it up to whatever it's meant to be. Like on some I'm hungry at 12am and I go to mcdonalds and bam, not on some creating a pof and sending msgs out or something.

I don't desire something like that

 

[MikelArteta]

Never took the saying "Men hit their prime late 20's" seriously til I began to live it.


That aura you give off knowing your shyts finally together and on the upswing is potent

Breh I know exactly what you mean, when your younger and people tell you this its like ,

now that I'm 29, I'm in the best shape of my life, about to make the most money I ever made. I still live at home but I could qualify for a mortgage and cop a condo if I want, but I'm not. My job is a 15 min drive.

I look around and laugh at what are these women offering out there my age? Looks falling off, past, single mothers, working retail or a barista etc. sorry not good enough to get into reinscarf university.