Some jokes to lively up the thread
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog - you know he'll shut up when he comes in
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. - Submitted anonymously
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Submitted anonymously
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. -
Submitted anonymously
Marriage is a three ring circus.
There's the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering
Marriages are made in heaven. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornados and hail
Women want fried ice
How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dikk
A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book. The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him. The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes? His wife replies, You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay. The husband says, No, not at all. His wife asks angrily, Well, what the hell were you doing then? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book
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The great thing about being married is that you no longer fear death.
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. I think you're bad luck."
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