Good stuffbeen on the dating sidelines for a while (was in a relationship for about 6 years) and back on the market and here is some advice and things I've picked up about today's environment.
-- Even though the apps feel like shooting fish in a barrel it's important to be selective. It's better to talk to or entertain a handful of seemingly quality women rather than juggling all your matches. You'll spread yourself thin and won't be able to focus on the ones worth entertaining.
-- When you match with a woman and after the initial messaging try to get her on a phone call or facetime asap. Texting can come off as dry, forced, unnatural, or doing too much if you don't know someone. People tend to open up and connect more when they can hear your voice. It also gives you a chance to listen carefully to get a better idea of who she is without wasting time further.
Two recent examples of this:
----Matched with a clair huxtable type. early 30's, looking for marriage, career focused, dressed well, straight wifey material nothing totish. Had a call with her and got her to feel relaxed and shorty started venting about some guy she was "talking to and only friendly with" for about a year. I asked if they were intimate she took about a 2-second pause and straight told me noMind you I wouldn't even care if she was. but to straight lie like that was a turn-off and i didn't pursue further.
---- Matched with a teacher who use to call me sometimes twice per day (mind you she insisted on calling me first) and just vent about different shyt going on in her life. Sometimes she barely let me get a word in
-- Look out for Women using certain internet talking points. "i know my worth", "he was not giving me what I deserve", one even told me "I'm looking to be in a covenant with my husband where we make each other's life easier and joyful". A lot of these types turned out to be un or under-employed or someone's baby mama looking for a come-up.
-- If you're the one that's always initiating conversation or interactions immediately cut. A lot of these types are either looking for attention or think playing hard to get is a dating strategy.
-- Ignore the ones that are trying to spin after going ghost for no reason (no they're not going through something or whatever excuse they told you or you might be telling yourself)
---- I had one wishing me happy birthday last week after going ghost a week before and another just responded with "yes" by text to something i asked her 3 weeks agoI guess the Valentines day effect is real.
Overall spend time and energy on the ones that seem legit and are feeling you. I matched with a RN and initially, the texting was going nowhere so asked for her number and we really hit it off over the phone. Even went to see her at her job cause it was not far from mine and we just talked.
Took her out to a nice dinner a few days later and everything went well. My birthday was two days later and she took me to a nice steakhouse (she paid), bought me balloons, flowers, and a cologne. I'm definitely going to focus on her and see where things go
Don't sweat it bro. There are multiple reasons why. See my above.
Watch out for nurses
