this is interesting... cause i've started to come to this realization and it seems like as a man, being in love is a losing game... every married man i talk to about this tells me shyt like, "thats just how it is"...
Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
- Start date
this is interesting... cause i've started to come to this realization and it seems like as a man, being in love is a losing game... every married man i talk to about this tells me shyt like, "thats just how it is"...
this is what I need to hear
However, how can we tell a girl that she needs to realize that everything she wants in a man is unrealistic if shes not willing to work and build with him...then turn around and have the same mentality ourselves.
perfect vision is the key to your life and how youre going to live it. we need requirements in place so that our standards can be kept up. in order for us to attain what we really want we need to know what will and wont work in the frame.
too many of us, seem to work within a loose frame in life and let it all just happen as it goes. we assume that going to school will give us a good future. but to what? and doing what? and how far do you want to go in that field? what position are you aiming for really? whats the highest you want to get in there? where are you really going to be happy?
how thorough, and honest to ourselves are we that we have crystal clear life goals in our head, so that we're not just out there floating and trying to fit in with what we're "supposed" to do? do we know what standards we should have that would make us happy? do we know what it takes from us, in order for us to fulfill our vision accordingly?
it seems like we compromise our own goals by either 1) not having them in place so we end up doing whatever, and getting tied up with whoever, or 2) letting the vision go - only to realize later that we shouldnt have, and 3) not having the standards set realistically, so that we know what to look for to make our recipe successful. and it all has to be made ahead of time.
why is it that we approach it like, I guess Im going to play the field now since this didnt work. or, I need to get married soon - so we end up chosing the wrong one just to be in a rush. too reactionary and not forward thinking enough.
if we knew ahead of time that we wanted to play the field, then why are we getting stuck in relationships when we dont want to be in? we didnt nip the issue in the bud to start off, thats why. our cookbook of success wasnt prepared right, thats all.
why do we try to settle down with a girl when she doesnt really hold you down like that to begin with? she isnt interested in YOUR goals, so why is she on the team even? if you had to be high status and on point to talk to her, and then when youre low she doesnt want to fukk with you, there can never really be a fair exchange on this level. do you want to stay in that? at least know what it is and not delude yourself so when the time comes, youre not caught off guard.
so, who is your ideal girl? what is it about a woman that makes you want to keep her? and what is it about a girl that makes sure you want to avoid her? you cant just keep buckshotting at women in your life, hoping soon you hit the jackpot if you just stick it out with her. not when you can find the right ingrediants beforehand to make sure if shes right or not.
the standards must always be in play.
bottomline, what does she do for you?and when? is she cooperative or not?
then, how many kids do you want, and at what time in your life would be best for it? what kind of place are yall going to live to be happy? wait until school is over to marry her? do you even want to be married? know this BEFORE fukking with any woman. have your ideals set, so that you wont be backed into a corner later. and make sure you chose someone who has the right stuff. otherwise, abort.
without this list, this code to abide by, we will be at the mercy of other people and wherever life chooses to take you.
choosing any old thing just out of love, is an emotional issue. it might sound cold, but you need the right standards in order to have your happiness straight and your goals right.
get some time out. and really think. really now picture your life, and what the pot of gold and treasure that you want consists of. then look at how to get it. always make sure in your life, that youre not compromising your vision and integrity. have it so youre not going to be looking back at things saying, I knew I shouldnt have given up on .... (myself)
if we start living real random and at the whims of someone else, we start losing our vision, and our plan. and no, not everything is going to work out exactly as we want it to, but how far are you willing to deviate from that plan? just how much of your recipe needs to be in play for something to work out for you? and for what good reason would there ever be to compromise your vision? answer that yourself.
i didn't break through to my current girl until i told her "Even if we were to break up, I'd want you to understand what I'm trying to teach you because I want you to be a better PERSON, not just a better girlfriend."
my bad ya'll, i'm over here reminiscin...i'm remembering back in the day when women ain't have 10,000 piercings, all these tattoos, funky hair colors and wasn't just caked in make-up.
mane i used to be infatuated with them yellabones that had that look back in high school
this was the definition of fine when I was growing up
no tattoos... just fine, pure femininity. I feel sorry for ya'll youngn's LOL. ya'll got these broads in these huge frameless glasses with some '80s swag' rocking some ol homeless look... why all these women got to look in the camera now pouting their lips with a look on their face like they are confused?
Garcelle Beauvais
Mariah Carey
man how could i forget rachel from bet island styles?
mane i used to be infatuated with them yellabones that had that look back in high school
this was the definition of fine when I was growing up
no tattoos... just fine, pure femininity. I feel sorry for ya'll youngn's LOL. ya'll got these broads in these huge frameless glasses with some '80s swag' rocking some ol homeless look... why all these women got to look in the camera now pouting their lips with a look on their face like they are confused?
Garcelle Beauvais
Mariah Carey
man how could i forget rachel from bet island styles?
this is what I need to hear
However, how can we tell a girl that she needs to realize that everything she wants in a man is unrealistic if shes not willing to work and build with him...then turn around and have the same mentality ourselves.
You just got to decide if you can put up with her foibles. If she drives you completely crazy or she's got signs of being unloyal, that's a no-go... but there is no such thing as perfection. If you go out there looking for the perfect woman, you're going to be just like the women who look for the perfect man--lonely... that was always my problem. I have HIGH standards and probably passed up several great women because they didn't pass my looks standard or some other standard I had at the time. I can be real and admit it. I was one of them negroes that was looking for that dimepiece virgin with that supersweet personality LOL
philmonroe
Superstar
Man don't listen to them cats cause they probably dudes that in the words of Napolean Hill picked "wrong" partners for just their looks and didn't pay attention to nothing else. I know dudes going to get tired of me saying this but a big thing guys can do is to treat women how you would treat your male friends. Dudes don't realize the problems they have with women cause they too busy saying thats the way it is for some regular puss. If it was you though they'd fight, argue, and/or stop messing with you and we need to be that way with both sexes.this is interesting... cause i've started to come to this realization and it seems like as a man, being in love is a losing game... every married man i talk to about this tells me shyt like, "thats just how it is"...
I agree its a thin line cause some dudes definitely being on the same unrealistic bullshyt like they Gods gift and I'm like you gotta be shytting me. I call it as I see it and some guys mentality stinks and think they should be rewarded for just as basic stuff as these chicks. Relationships should be about you and a chick vibing, staying loyal, building for yalls and future kids futures, and enjoying life with each other cause you want each other not because you need each other. Too many people on both sides are just selfish as fukk then blaming the other side for why they selfish ass can't find what they are truly looking for. Its going to be hard to find somebody that will be with you for the long haul when you are a selfish person.this is what I need to hear
However, how can we tell a girl that she needs to realize that everything she wants in a man is unrealistic if shes not willing to work and build with him...then turn around and have the same mentality ourselves.
nah, i meant as far as love and what we do for a female as men... like that post i quoted, men expect a love that women will never be able to give... i realized that I love my girl and she loves me, but our loves are way different... her love FEELS like its less and i noticed that, it really just is the way its supposed to be... as men, we move heaven and earth for our women and it's not like they don't do ANYTHING, or that they dont appreciate it, but they will never be able to reciprocate...
You want what you want. It's up to you to determine what's realistic and what's just wanting a fantasy. Ultimately if you accept anything less that what you want you'll end up not being fulfilled. People in relationships they don't want to be in are usually the first to cheat because they don't value what they have since it wasn't what they wanted anyway.this is what I need to hear
However, how can we tell a girl that she needs to realize that everything she wants in a man is unrealistic if shes not willing to work and build with him...then turn around and have the same mentality ourselves.
Zapp Brannigan
Captain of the Nimbus
Approaching a new woman every day for a month, Day 12:
I tried something new: I decided to chat up a woman who was working, but not as a waitress or any other kind of service industry person. There was a cute little East Indian girl who was waiting with me as the parking meter was getting fixed by my work. I decided to chat her up because although she was supervising a local construction site and wearing a hard hat, she was also wearing a sexy skirt suit underneath her orange fluorescent vest that caught my attention.
She didn't realize that the meter (It's a special, advanced meter) didn't take dollars. Only cards and coins. I told her that I'd help her out if she needed it by paying her parking fee, but only if she agreed to pay me back with a coffee at the nearby cafe with the wad of cash she had on her. It was risky, but she was able to leave work as she pleased until some specific task was being worked on by the nearby workers, so it came up seven for me on this roll.
We chatted about work, school, etc during our visit. She's from the bay area and shared my love of science, football, and classic movies. I got a kiss at the end of our visit. Yow! Feels more and more natural to approach, but definitely wasn't ready for that! It's something that I could definitely get used to, though.
Oh, and I got her number.
I tried something new: I decided to chat up a woman who was working, but not as a waitress or any other kind of service industry person. There was a cute little East Indian girl who was waiting with me as the parking meter was getting fixed by my work. I decided to chat her up because although she was supervising a local construction site and wearing a hard hat, she was also wearing a sexy skirt suit underneath her orange fluorescent vest that caught my attention.
She didn't realize that the meter (It's a special, advanced meter) didn't take dollars. Only cards and coins. I told her that I'd help her out if she needed it by paying her parking fee, but only if she agreed to pay me back with a coffee at the nearby cafe with the wad of cash she had on her. It was risky, but she was able to leave work as she pleased until some specific task was being worked on by the nearby workers, so it came up seven for me on this roll.
We chatted about work, school, etc during our visit. She's from the bay area and shared my love of science, football, and classic movies. I got a kiss at the end of our visit. Yow! Feels more and more natural to approach, but definitely wasn't ready for that! It's something that I could definitely get used to, though.
Oh, and I got her number.
Just tried to have a sit down brehs.. and for what? it ended in her being so fcukin wild and outta control as usual screaming at the top of her lungs and breakin a ceramic thing on the table.. now she upstairs stompin around slammin shyt every which way
see, this the type of volatility im talkin bout that i dont need in my life.. idc whats bein said, nobody should be takin things to extreme levels, i learned to control that shyt a while back, why shouldnt she? Cant even just sit down and talk like a couple of human beings man, ish is so
i cant guys.. i just dont think i can
and it hurts.. i guess the only advice im gonna need is recovery shortly.. although i think i may have that under control, but you never know..
My mother is like that. Not to diss my own mother but I am just being straight up and not gonna sugarcoat anything because she is my blood and gave me life. Just letting you guys know that although they are family, at times we also need to realize we have to stop saying____women except my mother,sister,grandma,etc because it is very likely they acted the same way .
But back to my mother also, just like your girl she is one of those scream at the top of their lungs type of women. In general because I am introverted i get extrememly annoyed at people like that. My mom is a single mother and my father left when i was a baby and she had my little sister(who is 9) with another man years later when i was older....
This may sound very messed up but I honestly am glad that no guy has wifed her up so that they can deal with her baggage and how she acts. She already does it with my sister's father and pretty much proves the point that Island/Jamaican women are exceedingly about ME ME ME ME ME ME.
As much as a fan I am of her, Lauryn Hill's recent comments
Lauryn Hill Breaks Silence On Wyclef: "I'm Not Crazy" [Video] | SOHH.COM
"talk talk talk...but who's the silent one". Now she is 100 percent correct, guys like Wyclef who are constantly talking and talking and talking annoy the hell out of me.
But my issue is that this even enforces my point EVEN MORE, did she not criticize the "sneaky silent man" before(Lauryn). " Buuu Buttt Butt I was just saying that guys should be more balanced and be more silent when im on my period and loud when im around my friends, in the nighttime before the sun sets at a 90 degree angle and in the morning of Sunday around my family to be more quiet when we are greeting but more loud when we are talking at the table at a 180 degree angle....3.14 equals PI. That is what I was talking about when I said women will bytch about how a certain guy is a "mama man"(guys who grew up with jamaican mothers will know what that means) and how he acts like a girl and talks and gossips too much.....and when they get the silent guy who minds his own business and focuses on his work, they say to their friends "he is a great provider and a husband but he doesnt spend that much time with me and is too quiet..."
About my mother again, I have no idea how my mother grew up that way. She has to be an an anomoly(did i spell that right) or exception to the rule because I thought all of us on here agreed that women who act that way were generally the typical spoiled daddy's little girl when they were younger(and fathers are still not learning from that mistake even today when they have a daughter)
I heard a grown ass father 2 weeks ago say to his 2/3 year old daughter in a Queens public library(however old she was) ...."Let me see that cute little booty"
The reason I said I wonder I really am curious as to why my mother is the exception to the rule is because she was in no way a daddy's little girl. She grew up in Kingston Jamaica and a typical hard ass old school father who kept her and her brothers and one sister in line and wasn't the type "oh let daddy buy that a princess house for you my little luscious cheesecake creme de la cour applepie"
Only reason I can think of is because maybe when she was growing up she had a simp boyfriend......thats the only thing i can think of. And how if he was her first true love, she got too used to it, and started to get that self entitled attitudes.
And dont get me started on those grown ass single woman who sometimes get way too creepy and because they dont have a man treat their male offspring like a suggorate husband..........
"Im a single parent playing the role of mother AND father
you dont show me any gratitude and affection"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Men are the disposable sex, women, the preserved sex. Men would simply die in favor of a superior aggressor, but women would be reserved for breeding. So it served a feminine imperative to evolve an ability to cut former emotional ties more readily (in favor of her new captor) and focus on a more self-important psychology – solipsism.
Now, here is where I’ll step off the diving board and into the theoretical. It’s my purview that a lot of what men would complain are duplicitous acts of indifference towards them are really rooted in this innate feminine solipsism. That’s a bold statement, I realize, but I’d argue that what men take for inconsiderate indifference in a break up or in ruthless shyt tests is really a woman tapping into this innate, self-preserving solipsism. Combine hypergamy with the chronically hostile environments of the past and you end up with a modern day feminine solipsism. Add to this an acculturated sense of female entitlement, social conventions that excuse this ‘duplicity’, and a constant misdirection of intent by women themselves, and you come to where we are now. As if that weren’t enough, throw in the element of hypergamy and the countdown in terms of fertility and long term provisioning that a woman must deal with before hitting the imminent Wall, and now you have a fuller picture of the conditions and stresses that necessitate this solipsistic nature.
Ever wonder why it is a woman can ‘get over you’ so quickly after a break up from a relationship you’d thought was rock solid for so long? Ever wonder why she returns to the abusive boyfriend she hopes will change for her? Look no further than feminine solipsism."
Source: War Brides «
Now, here is where I’ll step off the diving board and into the theoretical. It’s my purview that a lot of what men would complain are duplicitous acts of indifference towards them are really rooted in this innate feminine solipsism. That’s a bold statement, I realize, but I’d argue that what men take for inconsiderate indifference in a break up or in ruthless shyt tests is really a woman tapping into this innate, self-preserving solipsism. Combine hypergamy with the chronically hostile environments of the past and you end up with a modern day feminine solipsism. Add to this an acculturated sense of female entitlement, social conventions that excuse this ‘duplicity’, and a constant misdirection of intent by women themselves, and you come to where we are now. As if that weren’t enough, throw in the element of hypergamy and the countdown in terms of fertility and long term provisioning that a woman must deal with before hitting the imminent Wall, and now you have a fuller picture of the conditions and stresses that necessitate this solipsistic nature.
Ever wonder why it is a woman can ‘get over you’ so quickly after a break up from a relationship you’d thought was rock solid for so long? Ever wonder why she returns to the abusive boyfriend she hopes will change for her? Look no further than feminine solipsism."
Source: War Brides «
"Loyalty as we know it is not in a woman’s best interests. Being the physically weaker sex necessitates social and moral fluidity. In other words, women are shady and duplicitous creatures because the have to be.
Before I understood psychology this used to eat at me. Especially the fact that a woman can turn off her emotions toward you like a bathroom faucet. I believed in “love” until I began to realize that love is only as strong as your ability to meet her needs.
The best relationship I ever had was with an absolutely sweet and adorable 20 year old who worshiped the ground I walked on. I thought the world of her. We had our problems and I probably didn’t fully appreciate what I had back then but overall we had a good relationship.
Things started falling apart and eventually she told me she was leaving. I came home a few days later and all of her stuff was cleared out (we were living together). I was devastated that she left but what really killed me was the fact that I was distraught, feeling like I had a piece of me taken away, while she seemed to be absolutely fine. She was in a new relationship VERY soon after we broke up. This didn’t sit well with me. I just couldn’t understand how I could be emotionally attached while she was able to quickly and easily wash her hands and move on.
It killed me to think that she had never really cared about me. Of course now I realize that women don’t bond with partners in the same way men do. She DID care about me when I was meeting her needs, but in order for her to ensure that her needs were constantly going to be met, she couldn’t afford to chain herself down emotionally.
This is why you should never fully trust a woman and you should never allow yourself to become emotionally dependent. Your relationship is only as good as her perception of you at any given time. She doesn’t love you for “you”, she loves the feelings you give her and the things that you can provide for her."
Before I understood psychology this used to eat at me. Especially the fact that a woman can turn off her emotions toward you like a bathroom faucet. I believed in “love” until I began to realize that love is only as strong as your ability to meet her needs.
The best relationship I ever had was with an absolutely sweet and adorable 20 year old who worshiped the ground I walked on. I thought the world of her. We had our problems and I probably didn’t fully appreciate what I had back then but overall we had a good relationship.
Things started falling apart and eventually she told me she was leaving. I came home a few days later and all of her stuff was cleared out (we were living together). I was devastated that she left but what really killed me was the fact that I was distraught, feeling like I had a piece of me taken away, while she seemed to be absolutely fine. She was in a new relationship VERY soon after we broke up. This didn’t sit well with me. I just couldn’t understand how I could be emotionally attached while she was able to quickly and easily wash her hands and move on.
It killed me to think that she had never really cared about me. Of course now I realize that women don’t bond with partners in the same way men do. She DID care about me when I was meeting her needs, but in order for her to ensure that her needs were constantly going to be met, she couldn’t afford to chain herself down emotionally.
This is why you should never fully trust a woman and you should never allow yourself to become emotionally dependent. Your relationship is only as good as her perception of you at any given time. She doesn’t love you for “you”, she loves the feelings you give her and the things that you can provide for her."
I need a fellow quiet introverted girl
A girl who understands me when I am being nonchalant to our daugther(if we have one) and knows that it is STRICTLY because I do not want to end up with a "daddy's little girl" and that cutesy nonsense which for the most part has been the biggest reason why we get women like these today. Now of course I wont be a complete hard ass but will balance it out.
Who will defend her man when the other females say he is too quiet,etc . I have a lot of women have this VERY BAD HABIT of agreeing with one of her friends(even a complete stranger at times!!) when they are basically shytting on their husband who is providing for her(or her boyfriend)
Random Notes:
The Most Hilarious Type of Women:
You ever be around and see a conversation with a group of women who are texting to another guy on the other end and laughing about how quickly they respond to a text. I saw one girl do this sitting down and laughed and said "haha ha he responded right away"
and her friend standing up was just shaking her head.And yet if he ever catches on and gets out of the situation and never links up with them again.......they will actually get ANGRY
and start spouting all sorts of criticism at him.You know your basically using him and making jokes about it......but when he catches wind and bails all of a sudden your angry huh?
CrossBones
Louder than words
my bad ya'll, i'm over here reminiscin...i'm remembering back in the day when women ain't have 10,000 piercings, all these tattoos, funky hair colors and wasn't just caked in make-up.
mane i used to be infatuated with them yellabones that had that look back in high school
this was the definition of fine when I was growing up
no tattoos... just fine, pure femininity. I feel sorry for ya'll youngn's LOL. ya'll got these broads in these huge frameless glasses with some '80s swag' rocking some ol homeless look... why all these women got to look in the camera now pouting their lips with a look on their face like they are confused?
Garcelle Beauvais
Mariah Carey
man how could i forget rachel from bet island styles?
You notice how each of these women even carried themselves with more self esteem and a sense of class? It wasnt this rah rah reality show ho attitude going on.
Thats not to say some of them werent fast, but as far as they carried themselves it wasnt as rowdy as the "ladies" of today. Today its mostly all strippers or hoodrat chic. Being a woman with class and a reserved sense of style is not as common.
Theres a time and a place for everything, I just know that girls looking like they disfigured their femininity with tats and rock "forever 21" gear and cheap shoes have their shyt all s mess just like their lives are.
