She may not be running around with those dudes but she definitely keeping them around in her iMessages just in case her current relationship doesn't work out
being exclusive doesn't mean you can't talk to "friends" 
Essential Quick gems for dealing with men thread :lolbron:
- Thread starter Raava
- Start date
being exclusive doesn't mean you can't talk to "friends" 
An elderly lady told me this. And to me, it makes sense. However, don't try this if you're not built that way (mentally and emotionally).
Keep a roster or Fwb while dating until you find "the one". Don't feel guilty. It's all part of the dating game.
In other words, don't dedicate yourself to a single person.
Keep a roster or Fwb while dating until you find "the one". Don't feel guilty. It's all part of the dating game.
In other words, don't dedicate yourself to a single person.
Yinny
I miss LLC Twitter
An elderly lady told me this. And to me, it makes sense. However, don't try this if you're not built that way (mentally and emotionally).
Keep a roster or Fwb while dating until you find "the one". Don't feel guilty. It's all part of the dating game.
In other words, don't dedicate yourself to a single person.
Yup, especially in this dating climate. I have a heavy favorite but I’m still going on dates heavy with other guys, told him we will take things pretty slowly until we’ve established that we want each other for real for real. I want a lot and am looking for a partner who has the same thing in mind besides sex or telling me what he thinks I want to hear.
Amen to that!
Fax
Yinny
I miss LLC Twitter
I saw what you wrote. What's wrong with her advice? I may not lean on the multiple fwbs thing since I don't like multiple partners but is there something off about what she said? It's a numbers and interest game unfortunately.
I don't remember what I said
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
1. Men need to feel needed. They want to bring some value to you, even if it's just what they think is good peen.
2. Create a space for them to step up to help. Doesn't make you helpless, just means you know your value. Let him serve you. Delegate. Give him a place and a purpose in your life.
3. Be Direct. Men don't catch subtlety like is and they can't read minds. We are trained to be passive aggressive or coy but that's not a good way to communicate. Being honest and direct won't make you a bytch or masculine. It will help you get your point across.
4. Tell him what you want instead of what you don't want. Instead of criticizing and nagging when he messes up and misses the mark. Help point him in the right direction. Tell him the goal and the path to get there.
2. Create a space for them to step up to help. Doesn't make you helpless, just means you know your value. Let him serve you. Delegate. Give him a place and a purpose in your life.
3. Be Direct. Men don't catch subtlety like is and they can't read minds. We are trained to be passive aggressive or coy but that's not a good way to communicate. Being honest and direct won't make you a bytch or masculine. It will help you get your point across.
4. Tell him what you want instead of what you don't want. Instead of criticizing and nagging when he messes up and misses the mark. Help point him in the right direction. Tell him the goal and the path to get there.
Youseenmywork
KING
An elderly lady told me this. And to me, it makes sense. However, don't try this if you're not built that way (mentally and emotionally).
Keep a roster or Fwb while dating until you find "the one". Don't feel guilty. It's all part of the dating game.
In other words, don't dedicate yourself to a single person.
You dont know how glad I am that you was told this
. It lines up with a few theories that o have about HOW older women pass the game down . Most of the young men was raised by a single mother but I always said what and who is teaching the women of this generation ? ...and what is being taught to them ?A lot of dudes who have nothing of substance to offer rely on emotional manipulation and prey on ur human desire for communion. Many dudes have an arsenal of shaming and fear tactics to employ as deflections and distractions. They want you to feel beneath them and distract from what they don’t bring to the table.
Here’s a couple of shaming tactics some dudes use to emotionally manipulate chicks.
1.) Accusing you of not caring. This is a form of emotional manipulation some dudes use to make women more sexually accessible. When u hear dudes tell other dudes shyt like “if she don’t wanna fukk u on the first date, she not into you,” that’s b/c they are trying to create/reinforce a culture where women feel obligated to use immediate sex as a demonstration of love and affection. Meanwhile, we as women know there are a myriad of reasons why u might not want a strange dikk in u immediately, first and foremost being ur health and safety. No shame to anybody who does move a bit faster than others, but NEVER feel pressured to do ANYTHING you aren’t ready to do. If he tries that, the correct answer is
“You right. I guess I don’t care.” And KIM.
Non-examples include thinking “omg, he will think I’m not into him if I don’t...”
2.) Fear of being alone. You may notice a lot of threads on male forums fantasizing about women being miserable, lonely and unhappy. That’s b/c men have to feel needed. There is nothing wrong with that, but taken to extremes or coupled with a chronic lack of sex or affection and it becomes pathological. They begin to need women to be a problem so they can be the answer. So a lot of men try to play up the fear that if u don’t put up with his nonsense in that very moment, u will never find love every again and u will be unhappy for the rest of ur life. Dudes be legit salivating over reject porn fantasies of chicks that didn’t want them becoming life failures in the future. Don’t allow anybody to scare u into shyt based off the fear of being single. Ur happiness trumps any other condition and only u can determine that. No one else.
3.) Insulting your appearance- When start getting backed into a logic corner, brace for ad hominem attacks.
4.) Insulting your femininity-See number 3
5.) Claiming ur life will be unbearable or miserable without them-See number 2
6.) Acting like other women are better or like u are the only one asking for what u need.- The “nagging paradox”. A lot of dudes pretend u are being unreasonable for completely legitimate standards like love and affection and claim u are needy or insecure or nagging them. Really, they just don’t like or care about u in these situations.
7.) Isolation and separation-Some dudes try to isolate u from ur family and friends to make u more compliant to their desires. If u have a good, loving positive circle of friends and family, and he doesn’t want u to interact with them, he is trying to make power moves to control you.
8.) Fukking up and blaming you-Pure psychological warfare. Cheating but blaming ur sex game. Claiming everything stupid and horrible he does is somehow ur fault. “Well if u woulda done this or that?” Make him own his fukk ups. Never be another human beings’ punching bag.
9.) Slut shaming both ways- Trying to get u to have sex when u don’t want to. Claiming that you gotta do shyt with him if you have done it in the past. Calling u a whore if u do have sex. Navigating Male inconsistencies and unhealthy approaches to female sexuality is exhausting and even THEY don’t know what they want. You will drive urself crazy trying to play by their rules. The only thing u need to do is be emotionally and mentally sound when u make sexual decisions, avoid putting urself in risky situations, take responsibility for ur reproductive health and enjoy urself. If u wanna be a virgin do that. If u need to explore urself and ur sexuality, be safe and do that as well. And trying something in the past does NOT make u obligated to do ANYTHING u don’t want to do in the future. Seriously, what kinda fukked up logic is that. If a man bought a girl a car in the past, does he have to do that for every chick he gets with in the future?! Don’t play those reindeer games.
10.) Being hypercritical of everything you do to wear u down mentally or gradually lower self-esteem or what they call “keeping their foot on your neck”
This can be really harmful b/c a lot women internalize criticism. Nobody in this world is more valuable or better than u. Ain’t NOBODY God. Don’t EVER allow some dusty mofo to make u feel unsure about who u are. If u that bad, then why the fukk they still wit you? Kick that motherfukker to the curb.
11.) Trying to convince u that their abuse is in your best interest.
This is so irritating. These types don’t give a damn about you. You are a vessel for their cum that they don’t even want to raise with you when they are doing the shyt in number 10 and then turning around and trying to act like making u feel like shyt is good for you.
God said the highest form of love is to treat others the way YOU want to be treated. Any man doing foul shyt to u that YOU know he wouldn’t or couldn’t tolerate for himself ain’t got no love for u in his heart.
Father figures make their daughters aware of these games so their children won’t be prey in these streets. Take heed.
Here’s a couple of shaming tactics some dudes use to emotionally manipulate chicks.
1.) Accusing you of not caring. This is a form of emotional manipulation some dudes use to make women more sexually accessible. When u hear dudes tell other dudes shyt like “if she don’t wanna fukk u on the first date, she not into you,” that’s b/c they are trying to create/reinforce a culture where women feel obligated to use immediate sex as a demonstration of love and affection. Meanwhile, we as women know there are a myriad of reasons why u might not want a strange dikk in u immediately, first and foremost being ur health and safety. No shame to anybody who does move a bit faster than others, but NEVER feel pressured to do ANYTHING you aren’t ready to do. If he tries that, the correct answer is
“You right. I guess I don’t care.” And KIM.
Non-examples include thinking “omg, he will think I’m not into him if I don’t...”
2.) Fear of being alone. You may notice a lot of threads on male forums fantasizing about women being miserable, lonely and unhappy. That’s b/c men have to feel needed. There is nothing wrong with that, but taken to extremes or coupled with a chronic lack of sex or affection and it becomes pathological. They begin to need women to be a problem so they can be the answer. So a lot of men try to play up the fear that if u don’t put up with his nonsense in that very moment, u will never find love every again and u will be unhappy for the rest of ur life. Dudes be legit salivating over reject porn fantasies of chicks that didn’t want them becoming life failures in the future. Don’t allow anybody to scare u into shyt based off the fear of being single. Ur happiness trumps any other condition and only u can determine that. No one else.
3.) Insulting your appearance- When start getting backed into a logic corner, brace for ad hominem attacks.
4.) Insulting your femininity-See number 3
5.) Claiming ur life will be unbearable or miserable without them-See number 2
6.) Acting like other women are better or like u are the only one asking for what u need.- The “nagging paradox”. A lot of dudes pretend u are being unreasonable for completely legitimate standards like love and affection and claim u are needy or insecure or nagging them. Really, they just don’t like or care about u in these situations.
7.) Isolation and separation-Some dudes try to isolate u from ur family and friends to make u more compliant to their desires. If u have a good, loving positive circle of friends and family, and he doesn’t want u to interact with them, he is trying to make power moves to control you.
8.) Fukking up and blaming you-Pure psychological warfare. Cheating but blaming ur sex game. Claiming everything stupid and horrible he does is somehow ur fault. “Well if u woulda done this or that?” Make him own his fukk ups. Never be another human beings’ punching bag.
9.) Slut shaming both ways- Trying to get u to have sex when u don’t want to. Claiming that you gotta do shyt with him if you have done it in the past. Calling u a whore if u do have sex. Navigating Male inconsistencies and unhealthy approaches to female sexuality is exhausting and even THEY don’t know what they want. You will drive urself crazy trying to play by their rules. The only thing u need to do is be emotionally and mentally sound when u make sexual decisions, avoid putting urself in risky situations, take responsibility for ur reproductive health and enjoy urself. If u wanna be a virgin do that. If u need to explore urself and ur sexuality, be safe and do that as well. And trying something in the past does NOT make u obligated to do ANYTHING u don’t want to do in the future. Seriously, what kinda fukked up logic is that. If a man bought a girl a car in the past, does he have to do that for every chick he gets with in the future?! Don’t play those reindeer games.
10.) Being hypercritical of everything you do to wear u down mentally or gradually lower self-esteem or what they call “keeping their foot on your neck”
This can be really harmful b/c a lot women internalize criticism. Nobody in this world is more valuable or better than u. Ain’t NOBODY God. Don’t EVER allow some dusty mofo to make u feel unsure about who u are. If u that bad, then why the fukk they still wit you? Kick that motherfukker to the curb.
11.) Trying to convince u that their abuse is in your best interest.
This is so irritating. These types don’t give a damn about you. You are a vessel for their cum that they don’t even want to raise with you when they are doing the shyt in number 10 and then turning around and trying to act like making u feel like shyt is good for you.
God said the highest form of love is to treat others the way YOU want to be treated. Any man doing foul shyt to u that YOU know he wouldn’t or couldn’t tolerate for himself ain’t got no love for u in his heart.
Father figures make their daughters aware of these games so their children won’t be prey in these streets. Take heed.
A lot of dudes who have nothing of substance to offer rely on emotional manipulation and prey on ur human desire for communion. Many dudes have an arsenal of shaming and fear tactics to employ as deflections and distractions. They want you to feel beneath them and distract from what they don’t bring to the table.
Here’s a couple of shaming tactics some dudes use to emotionally manipulate chicks.
1.) Accusing you of not caring. This is a form of emotional manipulation some dudes use to make women more sexually accessible. When u hear dudes tell other dudes shyt like “if she don’t wanna fukk u on the first date, she not into you,” that’s b/c they are trying to create/reinforce a culture where women feel obligated to use immediate sex as a demonstration of love and affection. Meanwhile, we as women know there are a myriad of reasons why u might not want a strange dikk in u immediately, first and foremost being ur health and safety. No shame to anybody who does move a bit faster than others, but NEVER feel pressured to do ANYTHING you aren’t ready to do. If he tries that, the correct answer is
“You right. I guess I don’t care.” And KIM.
Non-examples include thinking “omg, he will think I’m not into him if I don’t...”
2.) Fear of being alone. You may notice a lot of threads on male forums fantasizing about women being miserable, lonely and unhappy. That’s b/c men have to feel needed. There is nothing wrong with that, but taken to extremes or coupled with a chronic lack of sex or affection and it becomes pathological. They begin to need women to be a problem so they can be the answer. So a lot of men try to play up the fear that if u don’t put up with his nonsense in that very moment, u will never find love every again and u will be unhappy for the rest of ur life. Dudes be legit salivating over reject porn fantasies of chicks that didn’t want them becoming life failures in the future. Don’t allow anybody to scare u into shyt based off the fear of being single. Ur happiness trumps any other condition and only u can determine that. No one else.
3.) Insulting your appearance- When start getting backed into a logic corner, brace for ad hominem attacks.
4.) Insulting your femininity-See number 3
5.) Claiming ur life will be unbearable or miserable without them-See number 2
6.) Acting like other women are better or like u are the only one asking for what u need.- The “nagging paradox”. A lot of dudes pretend u are being unreasonable for completely legitimate standards like love and affection and claim u are needy or insecure or nagging them. Really, they just don’t like or care about u in these situations.
7.) Isolation and separation-Some dudes try to isolate u from ur family and friends to make u more compliant to their desires. If u have a good, loving positive circle of friends and family, and he doesn’t want u to interact with them, he is trying to make power moves to control you.
8.) Fukking up and blaming you-Pure psychological warfare. Cheating but blaming ur sex game. Claiming everything stupid and horrible he does is somehow ur fault. “Well if u woulda done this or that?” Make him own his fukk ups. Never be another human beings’ punching bag.
9.) Slut shaming both ways- Trying to get u to have sex when u don’t want to. Claiming that you gotta do shyt with him if you have done it in the past. Calling u a whore if u do have sex. Navigating Male inconsistencies and unhealthy approaches to female sexuality is exhausting and even THEY don’t know what they want. You will drive urself crazy trying to play by their rules. The only thing u need to do is be emotionally and mentally sound when u make sexual decisions, avoid putting urself in risky situations, take responsibility for ur reproductive health and enjoy urself. If u wanna be a virgin do that. If u need to explore urself and ur sexuality, be safe and do that as well. And trying something in the past does NOT make u obligated to do ANYTHING u don’t want to do in the future. Seriously, what kinda fukked up logic is that. If a man bought a girl a car in the past, does he have to do that for every chick he gets with in the future?! Don’t play those reindeer games.
10.) Being hypercritical of everything you do to wear u down mentally or gradually lower self-esteem or what they call “keeping their foot on your neck”
This can be really harmful b/c a lot women internalize criticism. Nobody in this world is more valuable or better than u. Ain’t NOBODY God. Don’t EVER allow some dusty mofo to make u feel unsure about who u are. If u that bad, then why the fukk they still wit you? Kick that motherfukker to the curb.
11.) Trying to convince u that their abuse is in your best interest.
This is so irritating. These types don’t give a damn about you. You are a vessel for their cum that they don’t even want to raise with you when they are doing the shyt in number 10 and then turning around and trying to act like making u feel like shyt is good for you.
God said the highest form of love is to treat others the way YOU want to be treated. Any man doing foul shyt to u that YOU know he wouldn’t or couldn’t tolerate for himself ain’t got no love for u in his heart.
Father figures make their daughters aware of these games so their children won’t be prey in these streets. Take heed.
A lot of men do this even when they have something to offer. It stems from insecurity or as a means to keep you around in order to use you.
The best way to combat this is to play into it and turn it around on him.
A lot of times guys will try different techniques to feel you out in order to see what your hot button is. You can literally use some Pavlov (sp) mental manipulation to tweak how he behaves just based on your reactions.
For example, only react positively to behavior you likes. Deflect or turn around any negative behavior. If he becomes distant match his distance. Only reach to things you like.
You can literally teach people how to treat you based on positive reinforcement.
This may be needless to say, but be careful meeting these dudes out here. Some of them are really out here trying to hurt - or worse, kill women.
Always listen to your gut/sixth sense/ third eye, whatever the fukk you want to call it.
Also, this book may be helpful, it's called the gift of fear by Gavin de Becker
Free PDF file here: The Gift of Fear - PDF Free Download
Stay safe always!
Always listen to your gut/sixth sense/ third eye, whatever the fukk you want to call it.
Also, this book may be helpful, it's called the gift of fear by Gavin de Becker
Free PDF file here: The Gift of Fear - PDF Free Download
Stay safe always!
