Porn Moves You Tried In Real Life To Negative Results

[Jasonmask]

It's fire if they're big enough, real, soft (you can use your hands to mold and make it feel better), and you have enough to keep going into her mouth. And she can't be lazy.

True

 

[Brandsdale]

not necessarily a failure but I once laughed uncontrollably after nutting from face sitting

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

picked my ex wife up on my shoulders to eat the box
Lower back popped and I commenced to

On to our bed
Outta there for a week

 

[Mordith]

Thread is jokes

 

[Diyhai]

I convinced my girl to wear a butt plug while we went out on a date one time

I put it in right before we left and we agreed she'd wear it the entire night

I remember I kept looking at her while I was driving like but she was just sitting there like

She was walking all weird when we got to the movie theater and we barely got past the opening credits when I looked at her looking all uncomfortable like and she said she was going to the bathroom to take it out

what is the purpose of the butt plug lol
just look like jewelry to me

 

[Clayton Endicott]

Only shyt that hasn’t worked is anal, the thing is the girl likes it every time but it’s just not for me

other then that, every time I pull out a wild ahh position it hits every time imma master fukker

Same. My wife enjoys it, but it ain't my thing. Vaginal >>>>>anal and it's not even close.

 

[NinoBrown]

I just tried to throw it in her booty hole with no prep...cause in the movies it's a seamless transition....cause the p*ssy juices are enough to lubricate that opening and voila...

I was very wrong...

 

[Orbital-Fetus]

Sometime during the Bush vs Gore presidential race I had smoked a blunt laced with dust. Went back to my girl's crib and was smashing with the tv news on in the background and they were talking about the race. I kept Thinking "Gore got this, he's gonna do X, Y, and Z when he gets in. This went on for I don't know how long but I couldn't nut and I couldn't stop thinking about Al Gore. It was strange.

 

[Afro]

I still got to try the taoist thrust one time.

That shyt works. I found it boring as hell but she kept asking me to do it again

 

[Rekkapryde]

Told a long term ex I wanted to paint her pretty ass face during head. she looked up and caught and it all… then she bust out crying like “I…*sniff* just don’t know how to feeeeEEEElllll!…” and starts sobbing. We both butt ass looking ridiculous while I’m trying to hug and comfort her with my dikk still hard and a crazy amount of nut all over her face, hanging off her chin, and in her eye smh.

Everytime I looked at her my dikk would get hard again and she’d start sobbing again lol. She got up and left the room trying to walk it off but looked like a pop tart. I had to get a towel, and wipe her off. I never asked for that shyt again, she made me feel so bad.

Yeah that bustin on a girl face shyt does look like it's a recipe for disaster and backfiring

 

[TripleAgent]

Yeah that bustin on a girl face shyt does look like it's a recipe for disaster and backfiring

That girl:
A. Isn't that into him
B. Has internal issues
C. Both.

A good facial is fun for everybody

 

[Womb Raider]

you nikkas are JOKES


I don’t think anything ever backfired on me…tittyfukking isn’t everything it seems, it really feels like dry humping skin. It’s better if the t*ts compliment the dikksuck.

 

[BobbyWojak]

That girl:
A. Isn't that into him
B. Has internal issues
C. Both.

A good facial is fun for everybody

Tbf some people just don't like certain shyt

 

[TripleAgent]

you nikkas are JOKES


I don’t think anything ever backfired on me…tittyfukking isn’t everything it seems, it really feels like dry humping skin. It’s better if the t*ts compliment the dikksuck.

If it feels like humping dry skin, you're doing something wrong

Tbf some people just don't like certain shyt

If she's into you, she'll do nigh anything you like, and even otherwise, crying and running off is NOT a normal response.

 

[NSSVO]

My ex has conditioned me to choking but most girls don’t like it one time I did it I felt her shyt get noticeably more wet man damn that was a good sesh I’m just gonna retire it unless they say they like it like she did

My ex did as well. Post breakup fling looked at me like then I backed off