The fight between Pascal's Wager and atheism is kicking my ass.
Both have their pros and cons. Choosing to believe gives me hope for something better, and that someone is watching over me with protection. On the other hand if you believe that good spirits exist, there are evil spirits as well.
Choosing not to believe gives me a lot of clarity and the realization that life is just the way it is and it's what you make of it. The con is that it gives me bad existential crisis when thinking about the after life or how I can get into a really bad freak accident at any point of my life randomly.
I also believe the brain is so powerful it can make you schizo when it comes to religion.