I feel in the past couple of weeks, the old me has slowly but surely died. And this new me has emerged. I'm not interested in going out and getting drunk and messed up with friends at the bar til I can't see. I'm done with being irresponsible. This job that's come into my life is really it. Taking these insurance courses, having to learn al of these state regulations, fine areas of text, and other material for my job is slowly but surely starting to consume my life and I can't avoid it anymore. This is really the opportunity of my lifetime and I'm finally realizing it. My life is about to change...but I feel like...I'm afraid of what may happen. Prosperity and success is definitely coming but am I prepared for it? I had a conversation with my mom and my dad seperately over the phone over the course of two days and I told them what I've finally realized over a year removed from coming to New York from Pittsburgh last year and they gave me nothing but the best of words and the most supportive comments.
It was shocking to hear that from there, considering around the same point last year we had problems and it seemed like we were never seeing eye to eye. Making the tiniest discrepancy between us into an explosive argument. But now? Nothing but kind words. To hear such happiness and support from them is great.
Even my whole personality has changed. I feel more social, more content with life, more outgoing, etc. I have my friends here in New York, I've finally found a good job (which honestly I'm blessed to have cause it seems like there aren't alot of them going around and that's disconcerting in itself), and I can finally get the ball rolling in my life. I never thought this would happen.
I know what I want to do with my life now and it's making me happy and content with where things are going for the first time ever. But I'll never be content because I'll always have those passions of mine that will allow me to strive to achive further.
I was fukk-up, a loser in my mind, and underwhelming not too long ago, but now I can finally be able to say I threw that out the window and gave myself a positive image and outlook on life. Things are going to get better...finally. No longer that punk ass kid that just strolled through life with no direction but now leading that direction.
Peace.
