Married and Divorced twice before 30.

General Mills

More often than not I tend to take that L.
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Dude did you ever tell the mom that daughter was trying to get with you?

Yup. I told her everytime she tried me. She would yell at her and shyt. .But she was already a black girl lost. . She had her first kid at 14.

Three months ago I was leaving library. . I hear somebody yelling. DADDY! DADDYYYY! I am thinking its for someone else. . And the voice sounded real country ignorant. Daddy General! I whip around :wtf: Who is this grown woman calling me daddy?? It was the 12 year old. . She looked old as fukk and worn the fukk out. She had some kids with her. 5 to be exact. Talkinbout here are your grandkids. :wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf: I chopped it up with her for five minutes. Said I had to dip. She gives me her number to catch up. Hugs me way to close. :shaq2: I give her a fake number. . Hope to never run into that again.
 

Maude

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Geek Nasty

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...ing care of my wife and he got a report that she was about to get kicked out of our place. . The apartment complex contacted the navy. I was :whoa: I send all my money to her!!!! He did not believe me until he looked up the pay records. . .I remember he went from :rudy: to :ld: He knew but could not say that I married a thot. Long story short. . The ship lent me cash and flew me home from Spain to Jax to take care of everything. .


I get there and am like :martin: She had not paid rent in 3 months! :what: Her car note was two months past due. :what:

Damn Navy takes care of their boys!!!
 

Mr Rager

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This was early 2000's She had no cell. The numbers she gave me for her peoples in FLA were all disconnected. She called me from the bus station when she got to Jax. That was the last I heard from her. :manny: Her kids NEVER asked about her. . What 7 and 5 year old does not ask for their mother?? :dahell: They just blended in with our fam. The 7 year old ended up moving in with my mom and dad. They were also taking care of my cousin Princess who was the same age. So they became best friends and went to the same school. My grandparents on my dads side fell in love with the youngest daughter. . They were from GA and loved her accent. So she spent lots of time over there. . Meanwhile I am going crazy. . Then as I usually do with L's. . I just accepted it and moved on. Got a lawyer. Had papers drew up. . But did not know where the fukk she was! :mindblown:

After 6 months Anya's grandma who basically raised her got in contact with us. They wanted her back and bought her a plane ticket.. Two months later my parents had a vacay planned to Disney in Orlando with my cousin and the 7 year old girl. They drove down to FLA. . Took the girls to Disney. . Then on the way back. . And I have no idea how they did it. .THEY FOUND MY HER! :ooh: My mom said they pulled up to some dusty projects and she was coming out of a apt with some dude. They were dressed to go to a club. . My moms said here is your daughter. :camby: Then they got in the whip and left. :smugdraper:

In her daughters bag was a copy of the divorce papers. . Moms to the rescue. :whew: She signed it and that was that. Damn near two years to the day. Last year she called my mom. My parents number has never changed. .Said she was looking for me. . Amazingly I had never ran into her since being back down here. So I called her. .She wanted to get the divorce papers cause she is getting married again .She did not know how to get them from PA. So we met up. She apologized and said she was young and dumb. . . SHE LOOKES ROUGH AS fukkK. She legit has two tear drops under her right eye. . I asked her. . :lupe: Did you kill two brehs? She said naw. .One was for her youngest sister who died and the other for her mom.

I am like. . You tatted your face tho???:mindblown: Ass is still fat. . But she is poison. I accept her apology. Its been mad years and I am way over still being mad. I congratulate her on her upcoming marriage. She says thanks. . And. . Do I want to go out and get a drink or something. . I say nah I am good. We go our separate ways. . She continues to call me periodically. Asking to meet up etc. . I say. . Girl aren't you getting married. :childplease: She says its just for money. Its a African dude who wants to be a US. Citizen. I deleted her number and blocked her. :camby:

Damn your mom is a real one for that :salute:
 

Vice Queen

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Yup. I told her everytime she tried me. She would yell at her and shyt. .But she was already a black girl lost. . She had her first kid at 14.

Three months ago I was leaving library. . I hear somebody yelling. DADDY! DADDYYYY! I am thinking its for someone else. . And the voice sounded real country ignorant. Daddy General! I whip around :wtf: Who is this grown woman calling me daddy?? It was the 12 year old. . She looked old as fukk and worn the fukk out. She had some kids with her. 5 to be exact. Talkinbout here are your grandkids. :wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf: I chopped it up with her for five minutes. Said I had to dip. She gives me her number to catch up. Hugs me way to close. :shaq2: I give her a fake number. . Hope to never run into that again.
:to:
 

the artist known az

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Yup. I told her everytime she tried me. She would yell at her and shyt. .But she was already a black girl lost. . She had her first kid at 14.

Three months ago I was leaving library. . I hear somebody yelling. DADDY! DADDYYYY! I am thinking its for someone else. . And the voice sounded real country ignorant. Daddy General! I whip around :wtf: Who is this grown woman calling me daddy?? It was the 12 year old. . She looked old as fukk and worn the fukk out. She had some kids with her. 5 to be exact. Talkinbout here are your grandkids. :wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf: I chopped it up with her for five minutes. Said I had to dip. She gives me her number to catch up. Hugs me way to close. :shaq2: I give her a fake number. . Hope to never run into that again.
:russ::mjlol:
 

J-Nice

A genius is the one most like himself
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I never really talk about it. . Fam knows of course. To be honest for a long time I was embarrassed of it. Now I am not exactly proud of it now but I use both marriages as learning experiences. If yall have read any of my stories you can tell I am a pretty happy go lucky guy. I am not uptight, a$$holeish, etc. . I love life. I love to laugh. Also I aim to please. . Which when I was younger made me naive to the shyt that some women . . . hell people can do.

I will share with yall both marriages. . How they started. . How they ended. Not saying it is going to be the funniest thing ever. . But hopefully some younger brehs who are like me character wise can use my L's to avoid some of the pitt falls I fell in to.:francis:


Like I said I personally am a get along kind of guy. . And when I was younger I placed women on way to high of a pedestal. :wow: But I made it through it all. . I was married twice. . Both times for two years. Somehow I avoided having any children with them ( thank gawd :lawd: ) and avoided having to pay any alimony.

I will start with the first. . . Met her when I was in the Navy. . Still one of the biggest natural asses I have ever seen on a woman who was not obese. :damn: I will start with her first. . Lets call her Charlotte. . .So of course the story will be called Charlottes Web of Lies.

I was shy growing up around chicks. Just did not know how to talk to them really. . Then when I had a few gf's I tried to treat them like princesses and got sonned so thoroughly. :wow::wow: I shared the one story in college of the chick who I took out to dinner at Red Lobster, bought her some Nikes. . then the next day on campus she is posted up in the cafeteria with her ex and she was wearing the shoes and he was eating the leftovers. . Had one of them cheddar biscuits in his hand sopping up goodness like :eat:



When I joined the Navy I was no virgin but I was inexperienced to say the least. :unsure: Then I met my homies on the ship! Pretty Boy and Humphrey ( Hump for short ) They got my ass off the ship and soon we were partying every where! All over the south. Both of those dudes were outgoing dudes. . I am introverted to be honest. :ehh: But with those two I could blend in and find my way. Honestly they was my nikkas mane. :mjcry: Everytime we had a long weekend we where going somewhere. Tampa, Bama, Miami, Daytona, Atl, New Orleans. . etc. . Hitting up all the clubs. . fukking chicks. . etc. . Now those two light skinned dudes were sharks!! I was not naturally like that. But I had fun! :blessed: Soon my simp side started tugging at me. . Basically I was a idiot. :scust: Here I am 23ish and I am now looking to settle down. :wow: I kept saying. . . Dang. . My parents are still married. . .Both set of grandparents are also. . Its my time. In hindsight that was retarded. :why:


For anyone familiar with Jax. . I liked to go to bars that Navy guys did not go to. .If I was not hanging out with the fellas I would to a spot and blend in. . One of those spots was Capn Oldies on Mayport Road.

l.jpg


For one thing. . It looked like a old white country bar. . No nikkas was going up in there. . Hell I was not either. . Until one night I stopped at the lil store next to it to get some OJ. . And I heard rap music. :lupe: I walk up in there and chicks were getting live! :gladbron: No navy nikkas was in there either! I was :myman: That was new lil spot. . Pulled some chicks out of there too. . .Not sure if yall remember one of my military stories was about how I met this big tittied chick . . fukked her the same night . . Then went on a three week cruise on our ship. . When we pulled back in she was waiting on the pier for me in some white sheer outfit. nikkas was clowning. . I met her there.

So I will never forget this day. . It was New Years eve. Hump was on the ship. He had duty. Pretty Boy was back in Bama visiting his folks. I was in there chilling. . I had been going there like three months. I kinda knew everyone in there. . This chick walks in. . Ass sashaying back and forth. . . Coco skin and pretty as fukk :whew: She walks in. . . She seemingly knows everyone there. Daps up the bartenders. . She does like two laps around the place and the whole time I am looking at her like :steviej: Then she leaves!! :to: But I could not get that vision of her out of my mind!

I kept breaking my neck looking at the front door waiting on her to come back in. . She never did. :mjcry: In the meanwhile this other chick started spitting at me. . I was 23. She said she was 29. :dame: Ended up at her house that night. . fukked her while thinking of the other chick. :mjlol: She liked the kid tho. . A lot. :yeshrug: Wanted us to be a couple. . I honestly did not care. . she was nice. . good job. .etc. .But I was still mentally focused on the chick I saw that night. Me and this new chick went out to the base club one night. . Had fun. . She dropped me back off at my ship in the AM. . I go to pull out my military ID and pull out hers instead. .Forgot she had given it to me at the club last night. . I looked at the age. . .This bytch was not 29. She was 39! :mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol::mjlol:

Her body was no joke tho. . :whew: We kicked it for like a few more weeks. . One day I dipped to Capn Oldies solo. . My dream girl was in there! I am not normally aggressive when meeting new women. . I just straight up started spitting game. Everything Hump and Pretty Boy taught me got put to use. . Had her laughing. . Had her giggling. . Got the number. . That night I called up the 39 year old and broke it off.

Me and Charlotte spent every free minute together. . Honestly her body was banging . . .Personality was nice. .She was poor as fukkkkkkkkkk!!!!! And she had two kids. A 7 year old and a 12 year old. 7 year old was cutie. . 12 year old already has ass and titties.:sitdown: As soon as I saw her I suspected she was already fukking. . She lived in a trailer in Mayport. Damn near across the road from the club. I never even knew the trailers were back there. She had some bullshyt job and was getting no child support of course. All kinds of red flags. . But I did not know about GMB. . OR HOH. Or the perils of dating single moms. :sadbron: I did not now brehs. :sadbron:

We dated hardcore for like 9-10 months. . Hump and Pretty Boy was :lupe: . They never said don't do it. . But I could tell the was not fully on board with this. One day I came to her crib and she pulled out a ring brehs. Asked me to marry her! :leon:

Caught me off guard. . Cause I was going to ask her to marry me in like a week. :wow: She had saved up her lil checks and bought me a bullshyt ring. :wow::wow: I said yes. :skip:

Called and told my folks back in PA. They knew about her but not really. . I told them I was getting married. . My dad goes . .CONGRATS SON! :krs: My mom. . You got her pregnant? :patrice: My moms peeped something about her right away but could not put a finger on it. We ended up getting married at the Justice of the Peace. . First thing I did was get her out of that damn raggedy ass trailer! Got us a apartment. She had no car. . Got her one of those lil two door Explorer joints.
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She was happy as fukk! shyt so was I. With my wifey. . Her kids were cool. No drama. I was going to work everyday. . etc. . Then the first problem started. . . I was scheduled to go on a six month cruise. .:dame: I had an allotment set up so most of my cash was going to her so she could pay her car note, and the rent and bills. . .etc. . My car note was getting paid automatically along with my credit card. . I had cash coming to me on the ship but not a lot. . I did not have a lot of expenses on the water.

This was before you could use internet on the ship and shyt so we wrote letters and when I got a chance I would call with a calling card when we pulled in somewhere. . Wellllllllll. We are about 4 months into the cruise. . We are in Palma Spain. . I get called to the Captains office. . He was pissed!! :ufdup: Saying I was not taking care of my wife and he got a report that she was about to get kicked out of our place. . The apartment complex contacted the navy. I was :whoa: I send all my money to her!!!! He did not believe me until he looked up the pay records. . .I remember he went from :rudy: to :ld: He knew but could not say that I married a thot. Long story short. . The ship lent me cash and flew me home from Spain to Jax to take care of everything. .


I get there and am like :martin: She had not paid rent in 3 months! :what: Her car note was two months past due. :what:

We were so far behind on the rent that the Apt complex just wanted us gone. They did not even want us to get it current. . So I had to find us a new place. . I am grilling her like WTF???:childplease: What was going on that you could not pay the rent??? Also I forgot. before I left. . .. I had a friend. ( old ex actually ) who worked at ADT. She was a supervisor. I called her and told her I was married. . etc. . she was happy for me. .She had a new dude too. . I asked her if they were hiring. .She said yes. . I helped my wife with her resume. .Got her an interview. So right when I was leaving she was going for her final interview. . One of the first letters I got from her was her happy as fukk cause she got the job.

Wellllll. . .She lost the job. . Because she lied on her application. . She did not have a high school diploma brehs. :merchant: .

Damn I am trying to get this shyt out and I am missing shyt. . When I first met her kids her 11-12 year old cornered me in the hallway one time and said. . You know me and my mom have the same taste in men. :huhldup: Lil girl was built like a grown woman. . . I literally ran out of the trailer.



Ok so back to this shyt. . I am asking and asking. WHAT THE fukk HAPPENED??? . Not even really wanting to know. :sadcam: She is deflecting and playing dumb. . .I get us a new place. . A townhouse. As I am paying for that her truck gets repo'd. Well. . MY TRUCK! Cause it was in my fukking name. :snoop: Somehow my car in 4 months has brakes that are worn down to the metal and is now sounding like a go-cart. . . I am :mindblown::mindblown::mindblown::mindblown:


And to top it off. . .One day her 7 year old says. . I miss my sister. . I go. . Your sister is in the kitchen. . She says noooo. My sister Anya. I am thinking she is talking about her cousin or some shyt. . So I offhand mention it to her. . Your daughter was asking about Anya. . She says ok. . I will get her from her grandmother. . .I am like ok. . Then I ask her. . Is she a cousin? She says no. She is my daughter. .

:wtf:

I am like. . Your daughter???? You have another kid? How can you not tell me about something like that? :dwillhuh: When I told my mom later that night when I called her she said and I quote. " Try to get a annulment. :dame: " But dumb ol sucker for love me. . Did not heed her advice. :francis:

Charlotte told me she thought she had told me. . I know she didn't. . . . .Well I told myself. and her. .. Lets just start over. . From this point on. Its not like you are a gf. .You are my wife. .Lets try to get this thing worked out. So that is what we did. . Did my best to forgive and forget the shenanigans that may have happened in those four months while I was gone. :wow:

I was coming up on my 4 years in the service. . I went in soley for the GI Bill. . I had screwed up my scholarship for college before the Navy. . So this was my backup plan. .I enjoyed the service but I was no 20 year guy. She was not happy that I was getting out. . Matter of fact she tried her hardest to get me to change my mind. . But I was :yeshrug: I had a plan. . I was going to get out. . Move us to Pittsburgh. . My moms is a hustler. . She owns like 6 houses that she rents out. . She already said we could have one of them. Rent free. . While we get on our feet. . Furniture and all is included. Meanwhile the other daughter Anya who is 5 had been coming over more and more. She decided she wanted to be around her daughter more. Told me she wanted her to come with us. Her 12 year old was staying in FLA with her dad's peoples. I was fine with that. . .Her daughter tried walking in on me in the shower twice and once I was sleep and woke up and she was cuddled up next to me under the sheets. :skip::skip::skip::skip: Talkin bout a nikka jumping out the bed brehs. :wow:


We move up to PA. . .I am happy to be home. We got a nice three bedroom house in the neighborhood where I grew up. Suburbs! :blessed: She is not happy. . As soon as we get up there she wants to go out. . I am like hold up. . We are starting new here. . I just started working at a Auto Parts store while going through the interview process for Sony and the Post Office. Both positions I had to go through damn near two months worth of interviews. :comeon: So we had no real money. . Damn sure no money to blow at a club. .She hated it up there. . Hated the hills. Hated that she did not know where to go. .Hated the snow. . She had never been out of Jax and it was showing. :leostare:

So I am going to work every day. . Then picked up a part time job at a convenience store too. Ended up getting hired by Sony. They had a plant where they made big screen tv;s. Only thing is I was not going to start for another month. .But I would be making good money.

I told her . . Look. I need to pay off that apartment, that truck, and my credit card that I maxed out. . Plus I want to give my parents some money as soon as I can. . They are losing out giving us this house for free. She said she understood but she didn't. :comeon:


Meanwhile. . .Her youngest daughter says to me one day that Steven called her. .I am like who is Steven? :jbhmm: She said her brother.

:why::why::why::why::why::why:


This chick had ANOTHER KID!!!

When I asked her she said yeah her son Steven. . . . . . I was heated. . HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?? She said 4. . :snoop::snoop::snoop::snoop::snoop::snoop::snoop:


He lives with his dad in FLA. I was just numb at this point. :beli: What the fukk have I got myself into. Meanwhile she is still acting bytchy cause we cannot go out and get beers and shyt. I am at my wits end. . Come home and the house is not clean. Just dumb shyt.

Come home from work and she tells me that her daughter ( 12 year old ) got in some trouble back in Jax . She had to go home real fast. . I say ok. . But look. . I got enough money to send you one way on greyhound. .I will have the money for your ticket back home next week when I get paid. So when you get down there give me the number where your going to be at and I when your ready to come back. I will buy the ticket. Her girls were staying with me and my parents and grandparents will watch them while I am at work.

I never laid eyes on her again until last year. :shaq2:


This was early 2000's She had no cell. The numbers she gave me for her peoples in FLA were all disconnected. She called me from the bus station when she got to Jax. That was the last I heard from her. :manny: Her kids NEVER asked about her. . What 7 and 5 year old does not ask for their mother?? :dahell: They just blended in with our fam. The 7 year old ended up moving in with my mom and dad. They were also taking care of my cousin Princess who was the same age. So they became best friends and went to the same school. My grandparents on my dads side fell in love with the youngest daughter. . They were from GA and loved her accent. So she spent lots of time over there. . Meanwhile I am going crazy. . Then as I usually do with L's. . I just accepted it and moved on. Got a lawyer. Had papers drew up. . But did not know where the fukk she was! :mindblown:

After 6 months Anya's grandma who basically raised her got in contact with us. They wanted her back and bought her a plane ticket.. Two months later my parents had a vacay planned to Disney in Orlando with my cousin and the 7 year old girl. They drove down to FLA. . Took the girls to Disney. . Then on the way back. . And I have no idea how they did it. .THEY FOUND MY HER! :ooh: My mom said they pulled up to some dusty projects and she was coming out of a apt with some dude. They were dressed to go to a club. . My moms said here is your daughter. :camby: Then they got in the whip and left. :smugdraper:

In her daughters bag was a copy of the divorce papers. . Moms to the rescue. :whew: She signed it and that was that. Damn near two years to the day. Last year she called my mom. My parents number has never changed. .Said she was looking for me. . Amazingly I had never ran into her since being back down here. So I called her. .She wanted to get the divorce papers cause she is getting married again .She did not know how to get them from PA. So we met up. She apologized and said she was young and dumb. . . SHE LOOKES ROUGH AS fukkK. She legit has two tear drops under her right eye. . I asked her. . :lupe: Did you kill two brehs? She said naw. .One was for her youngest sister who died and the other for her mom.

I am like. . You tatted your face tho???:mindblown: Ass is still fat. . But she is poison. I accept her apology. Its been mad years and I am way over still being mad. I congratulate her on her upcoming marriage. She says thanks. . And. . Do I want to go out and get a drink or something. . I say nah I am good. We go our separate ways. . She continues to call me periodically. Asking to meet up etc. . I say. . Girl aren't you getting married. :childplease: She says its just for money. Its a African dude who wants to be a US. Citizen. I deleted her number and blocked her. :camby:

Coli Brehs and Brehettes, This is the entire story of the @General Mills chronicles :wow::mjcry::sadcam:
 
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