Consequently, what follows is not a review but a spoilereview. If you are genuinely considering watching
Lucy—and I urgently recommend that you reconsider—you should stop reading now. If, by contrast, you plan to give the movie a pass and would like to have your good judgment ratified (or, alternatively, if you have stumbled out of the theater bewildered and seeking commiseration), read on. Because while Besson has made very, very bad films in the past—most recently, last year’s
The Family—this is the first time he has made a film so idiotic that the only way to properly convey its flaws is to enumerate them.