Loving who you love vs. emphasizing black love

[Reality]

I consider myself a racially conscious person. I became aware of the mechanisms of white supremacy fairly early in my life (early teens) thanks to Malcolm X's autobiography. For better or for worse, racial consciousness is the primary lens through which I view the world.

I've embraced and am proud of my blackness, but I also have a strong sense of self and individuality. If I'm honest with myself, race is something I'm really passionate about because I think white supremacy has prevented many blacks (including myself) from being free and at peace to reach their true potential as individuals. By extension, romance is the one area that I still choose to idealize and see as highly personal, private, and individual. I know racial dynamics are pervasive, but if there's any space in which they should not dominate, for me, it's that space.

I've dated a variety of women: black, Asian, and white, and now my current girlfriend is a Latina. I love her, and she fits the bill for everything I want in a wife/life partner. I have a great relationship with her family and they've welcomed me since day 1. She and I have the same philosophy on education, family economics, finances, and building wealth. More importantly, her values are solid and her loyalty to me is unimpeachable in my mind. This is the woman I want to raise my kids. There's no doubt in that we'd build something great together.

The only issue is that, from time to time, there's this tinge of discomfort with the feeling that I'm betraying my community by dating "out". I'm disgusted when black football players, basketball players, financiers, or whomever suddenly wind up with non-black women when they're successful. Every time I see a new instance of this, the question flashes to mind: am I doing the same thing?

I also have the nagging fear that my kids could succumb to white supremacy/the black inferiority complex, and run away from their blackness through dating, friends, or whatever growing up. The idea of being old and grey, seeing my kids "preferring" not to date black or associate with the black community, or worse yet seeing them disconnect from their black family, is terrifying. I've seen it happen so often with the kids of mixed families or black families who do well. It's extremely depressing.

What do other brehs think (I'm not asking what to do. It'd be stupid to walk away from this. Just asking for thoughts)? Any of you guys in or have been in similar situations? What'd you do?

 

[PhonZhi]

Nope. Never had this problem. Couldnt imagine being with anybody but a black woman and bringing full black kids into the world

 

[Taadow]

The only issue is that, from time to time, there's this tinge of discomfort with the feeling that I'm betraying my community by dating "out".

Bruh...the "community" ain't comin' to your house at the end of these long days.
Don't fucc up your good thing worrying what the hood think.

I'm disgusted when black football players, basketball players, financiers, or whomever suddenly wind up with non-black women when they're successful.

Why? Have you been conditioned be "disgusted" in this manner?
I mean - why does it only matter to you "when they're successful"? Have you ever thought about that?

I also have the nagging fear that my kids could succumb to white supremacy/the black inferiority complex, and run away from their blackness through dating, friends, or whatever growing up. The idea of being old and grey, seeing my kids "preferring" not to date black or associate with the black community, or worse yet seeing them disconnect from their black family, is terrifying. I've seen it happen so often with the kids of mixed families or black families who do well. It's extremely depressing.

This could happen...and it could not.
I mean...is that what happened to you? Do you "run away from your blackness" even though you are dating a Latina?
It doesn't seem that way to me...but again, why should it matter what I think?

What do other brehs think (I'm not asking what to do. It'd be stupid to walk away from this. Just asking for thoughts)? Any of you guys in or have been in similar situations? What'd you do?

What other people eat don't make me chit.
If anyone has a non-black partner/spouse and they are supportive of them, chit all good.

 

[Queen]

If your wife is not black then your kids won't be black so you don't need to worry about them running away from their "blackness." You will have other issues to worry about. This is not one.

 

[ridedolo]

i mean, it's too late you already love her. how does she respond to racial conversations? I'm guessing she's not afro latina?

im not into the IR thing honestly and i see it as a weapon of racism white supremacy. reading this quote from an actual slave bugged me out.

"but it cannot be true that their real connection with the white men of the families is unknown to the white women of the families. The results of this concubinage can be seen in all of our colored churches and in all of our colored public schools in the South, for in most of our churches and schools the majority of the young men and women and boys and girls are light-skinned mulattoes. The real, Simon-pure, blue-gum, thick-lip, coalblack negro is passing away—certainly in the cities; and the fathers of the new generation of negroes are white men, while their mothers are unmarried colored women."

 

[philmonroe]

Bruh...the "community" ain't comin' to your house at the end of these long days.
Don't fucc up your good thing worrying what the hood think.



Why? Have you been conditioned be "disgusted" in this manner?
I mean - why does it only matter to you "when they're successful"? Have you ever thought about that?



This could happen...and it could not.
I mean...is that what happened to you? Do you "run away from your blackness" even though you are dating a Latina?
It doesn't seem that way to me...but again, why should it matter what I think?



What other people eat don't make me chit.
If anyone has a non-black partner/spouse and they are supportive of them, chit all good.

He learned bold from hanging around his momma and aunties cause that's chick shyt. I swear until I came on here I've never saw dudes care who dudes messing with outside of the chick being ugly or not. This coli/Internet shyt don't jive with what happens in most people's lives on stuff like this. Tbh dudes whole post but definitely bold

 

[Reality]

He learned bold from hanging around his momma and aunties cause that's chick shyt. I swear until I came on here I've never saw dudes care who dudes messing with outside of the chick being ugly or not. This coli/Internet shyt don't jive with what happens in most people's lives on stuff like this. Tbh dudes whole post but definitely bold

So you think it's meaningless? If it's not your chick to begin with, what does it matter if she's ugly or not? This shyt doesn't trip you out? Do you care about money flowing through the black community or are you indifferent to it?

 

[BigMan]

what type of Latina bruh

 

[philmonroe]

So you think it's meaningless? If it's not your chick to begin with, what does it matter if she's ugly or not? This shyt doesn't trip you out? Do you care about money flowing through the black community or are you indifferent to it?

Where did I say I care what some next nikka chick look like? Idgaf who dudes I mess with chicks look like that's not why they my boys. What shyt is supposed to trip me out? Honest question.

I think most of these black community nikkas are full of shyt regarding stuff like black money flowing through the community honestly esp online. I mean what does that even mean? I probably do just as much as the majority of y'all and don't even think about it. It just feels like "lame" for lack of a better word IRL dudes come on here to out black each other and that's just weak to me.

 

[miranda]

my current girlfriend is a Latina. I love her, and she fits the bill for everything I want in a wife/life partner. I have a great relationship with her family and they've welcomed me since day 1. She and I have the same philosophy on education, family economics, finances, and building wealth. More importantly, her values are solid and her loyalty to me is unimpeachable in my mind. This is the woman I want to raise my kids. There's no doubt in that we'd build something great together.

sounds like a great relationship, and what a lot of people are looking for

I also have the nagging fear that my kids could succumb to white supremacy/the black inferiority complex, and run away from their blackness through dating, friends, or whatever growing up. The idea of being old and grey, seeing my kids "preferring" not to date black or associate with the black community, or worse yet seeing them disconnect from their black family, is terrifying. I've seen it happen so often with the kids of mixed families or black families who do well. It's extremely depressing.

you're kids will not be black so why would they have a "black inferiority complex" or associate with the black community? youve seen it happen so often yet you still chose to pursue serious relationships with nonblack women. Dont be scared now, these are the consequences of your actions. If she really will make a good mother hopefully she wont raise cowards that are afraid to acknowledge your side of the family. but your genes are done, not sure if you are a descendant of the slaves brought to the usa, but if so, im sad. if youre african or west indian,

 

[Medicate]

You negroes stay trying to get validation for your sell out ways.....just go PAWG or whatever the fck you want and just stay the fck out the black community....writing all these damn paragraphs to get some pats on the back.....iiiisss okay massa....

 

[Kitsch]

 

[Medicate]

sounds like a great relationship, and what a lot of people are looking for


you're kids will not be black so why would they have a "black inferiority complex" or associate with the black community? youve seen it happen so often yet you still chose to pursue serious relationships with nonblack women. Dont be scared now, these are the consequences of your actions. If she really will make a good mother hopefully she wont raise cowards that are afraid to acknowledge your side of the family. but your genes are done, not sure if you are a descendant of the slaves brought to the usa, but if so, im sad. if youre african or west indian,

These c00ns are certifiable on this site.......

 

[THEREALBRAND]

If you claim to be pro black and you're with a non-black woman you're a clown.

 

[Guile]

Accept the possibility that your line won't be black in the near future.