This is so far out of bounds. And when she calls the cops, what does she do in the meantime when he is still in the vicinity? I swear ya''ll have some cognitive dissonance with being men. You either don't want to or are incapable of putting yourself in the position of not being able to protect yourself because as a man you most likely don't have to deal with it. She is vulnerable in that time period and he is pissed and most likely physical. She will get the life beat out of her BEFORE the cops arrive. So that is what is meant by the time trying to leave is the most dangerous. I replied even though I think you trolling.
Let's Discuss Violence Against Black Women
- Thread starter bcrusaderw
- Start date
I'm in Oakland and the closest thing I know of is State sponsored therapy and it covers all kinds of violence. But they only take certain cases of course.on topic, are there any programs about domestic violence for kids currently in any school assemblies or anything?
There was a program that taught young boys in this south asian country where DV (and gang rapes) are rampant and it supposedly helped a lot
Not to sound bitter (which means I prob do), but reading the first few tips they relate to community. How can the black community organize and educate itself when half of it doesn't believe or care about the women this happens to? It's an honest question.an article about comminity efforts to stop DV
Ways to Stop Domestic Violence in Your Community
Posted on December 4, 2013 by Jerica Nonell
123
The World Health Organisation (WHO)’s latest report on Violence Against Women that was released in June 2013 indicated that in some regions of the world, over 35% of women suffer from partner violence. With these staggering numbers, it is a very real possibility that every one of us knows a woman is facing (or has faced) domestic violence.
The intervention of neighbours and the wider community is one of the keys to stopping the violence. This starter list provides 16 tips for preventing and intervening to stop Domestic Violence in your community and/or neighbourhood. We have divided the list into 2 sections – one for the wider community and one for individuals. If you have any other suggestions and tips, please do share them in the comments section.
Introduction by Regina Yau; Written by Rashad Brathwaite and Regina Yau; Edited by Jerica Nonell and Regina Yau.
_________________________________________________________________________
For The Wider Community
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #1: Know the signs. The first step to action is to familiarise individuals and the community with the possible signs and indicators of domestic violence. These signs can vary and do not always come with physical symptoms because domestic violence is not just limited to physical attacks such as beatings. It includes many forms of abusive behaviour enacted to control the victim in a myriad of ways including emotional abuse, verbal abuse and economic abuse. Domestic violence also affects every level and demograhic in society, so there is no typical victim despite the stereotypes. Someone who may not appear to be a victim of domestic violence may well be suffering in silence and it is important to recognise the signs if this is the case.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #2: Get your community educated! A good start to eradicating Domestic Violence from your community or neighbourhood is to start educating as many people as possible about Domestic Violence, its impact and how to intervene safely. This can be done in collaboration with your local Domestic Violence shelter or women’s organisation or police community outreach officers who can work with the community, local schools and local companies to organise and implement talks, townhall meetings and other group sessions to talk about this issue.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #3: Get your community organised! There is safety and influence in numbers when intervening to stop an abuser or making your community a place where Domestic Violence will not be tolerated. So just as many neighbourhoods have neighbourhood watch to stop crime, start organising a network of folks who will commit to intervene in Domestic Violence situations, help victims leave their abusers safely and provide a communal support structure for survivors.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #4: Boost your community support network with technology! If you have a smart phone and the victim has a smart phone, consider downloading a safety app for women, many of which have been designed to automatically alert your support network if you are in danger. If the victim does not have a smart phone, consider pooling money with a few friends and neighbours to get her one and pre-load it with a safety app that is connected to all your phones so you can become a de facto support net for her. Free safety apps currently available include the award-winning Circle of 6 and the iAMDEFENDER app which you can download here.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #5: Stopping the violence is good for business. Domestic Violence has cost economies and companies millions of dollars in lost time, medical care, productivity etc. In the U.S., the cost of Domestic Violence to the economy is estimated at $8.3 billion a year. If you are a business owner or a senior member of a company (e.g. a director, board member, senior manager), be pro-active in getting educated about how to intervene if you suspect or know that your employee or staff member is facing Domestic Violence because it will have a knock-on effect on your company. Implement HR policies that makes provisions for the potential impact of Domestic Violence. For example, the National Bank of Australia is currently offering paid Domestic Violence leave because the economic freedom from remaining in paid work is regarded as vital in helping victims escape violent relationships.
For Individuals
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #6: Ring the bell. If you are the neighbour of a family experiencing Domestic Violence, please take the time to ring their bell when you hear a violent situation happening. You could use the old neighbourly approach of asking to borrow a cup of sugar or some milk as an excuse. If you feel that it could get dangerous, bring another person with you so there will be more than one witness. Check out what this guy did in a PSA by our partner, Bell Bajao:
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #7: Bring a back-up. Intervening with Domestic Violence situations can be dangerous especially if the abuser has a weapon (e.g. a gun) and is intoxicated by drink or drugs. If you are unable to get help from the local shelter or police, make sure to bring another friend or family member along with you when you respond to the victim/survivor’s call in person.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #8: BE the back-up. If your neighbour, friend, co-worker, classmate, mother, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, niece or cousin is facing Domestic Violence at home, let them know that you will be willing to be a witness or to intervene on their behalf while you are around. Also let them know that they are welcome to take refuge in your home should they need somewhere to go.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #9: Make the call, NOW. If the situation is beyond simple neighbourly intervention (e.g. the abuser has a gun and uses it during the abuse), call the police or your local emergency services (such as 911 in the U.S.) IMMEDIATELY. Provide critical information, such as location, names, contact number, and whether or not you wish the remain anonymous. Do NOT intervene personally in this scenario as it will be too dangerous to do so.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #10: Listen to empower. If a victim of domestic violence reaches out to you, listen. Let her know that you believe her and do not judge her choices. Victims often feel completely isolated and are often belittled by their partner; it is important to enable her to feel safe when confiding in you because eventually, she may well be able to gather enough courage to tell you exactly what is happening and to ask for help. This intervention tip may be particularly useful for hairdressers, nurses, human resource department personnel and anyone working in professions that involve having to listen to clients, customers and co-workers as part of the job.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #11: Be on standby If you suspect your friend, co-worker, staff, or family member of suffering from Domestic Violence, offer to be on standby for her text or call for emergencies. Have your phone on and fully charged at all times and keep it on you. If you have a car and need to intervene immediately, make sure that the gas/petrol tank is full so you can get in and drive to get the victim/survivor immediately if need be.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #12: Have an intervention plan. Work out a plan to get an intervention operation in action – have the following numbers on standby for your use:
Make sure to contact all of these agencies immediately should you receive an urgent SOS from the victim/survivor or if you hear or witness the violence begin and escalate (and in many cases, it may escalate incredibly quickly).
- The national Domestic Violence helpline (if your country has it)
- The local Domestic Violence shelter helpline wherever the victim/survivor is located.
- The local police wherever the victim/survivor is located.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #13: Provide some relief. If you know a Domestic Violence victim/survivor who is being kept at home without relief, do a random act of kindness for her: Offer to babysit the children for a few hours while the abuser is out so she can have a breather; Offer to pick up groceries for her on your grocery run. Every small gesture helps provide relieve and also build the victim’s confidence in eventually reaching out to you for help (or accepting your help).
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #14: Check in regularly. If you fear for your friend, co-worker, classmate, or family member’s life, call or text her once a day at a random time to see if she is all right. If it’s your neighbour, keep an eye out on the house and your ears pricked for any signs or sounds of violence.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #15: Be a resource. Help her find the assistance she needs, whether it is legal information, local domestic violence programmes, or finding a safe place through a battered women’s shelter. The greatest danger women face in these situations is often the actual process of leaving, so finding a safe place may be key. Knowing this information beforehand may be helpful, but assisting her in the research and even making phone calls for her will also help speed things up.
Domestic Violence Intervention Tip #16: Document! Document! Document! Document any incidents that you witness. Take note of dates, times, injuries, and any other observations. Your ongoing documentation can help bolster a victim’s courage and credibility when they are finally willing to pursue legal action against their partner.
I grew up with my dad abusing my mom so as a youth I learned to fight. I used to carry knives but now I take boxing for exercise but self defense as well. I agree with that sentiment but it wasn't and isn't something that is cheap. I pay $120 a month for my membership and I know that is a lot for most people, especially if they have kids. I think finding some group classes or organizations to help women in this area would do wonders. I don't know of any in my area though.
And the apathy/ powerless you mentioned is real. I didn't know how seeing that my whole childhood really affected me until I sought out therapy. I think these things are useful but its amazing how @cloudbox mentioned this abuse and normally happens over time. There are so many things I saw that I just figured were "normal" and they weren't. And after talking to my mom it was the same for her. It's not like she wanted to be in that situation but she couldn't "see" how bad it was and how it was affecting us as well. Stockholm Syndrome and whatever else you want to call the "cloud" that is over your head is no joke. Even with people who seemingly function well. And my mom eventually did seek therapy and had to divorce my dad. Another thing I would mention was she was loyal to my father because in her generation marriage MEANT something and she didn't want to give up on him (he had some mental issues too) so I don't know how much that affects our generation. But I can definitely see that in the older generations and in various cultures. That's my six cents.
SInce when can someone force you to become a violent savage. Come on dude. If they want to beat on people, no one makes that decision for them but them. Doesn't sound like a "nice guy" to me.
wet landscapes
ghost
it was written with the assumtion that people caresorry about what you had to go through
wet landscapes
ghost
you have to qualify to access the therapy?
Thank you. I I know but I just be thinking out loud. Lol. And I'm actually happy to see that I was wrong because there were a lot of men that responded with thoughtful advice and input. Shout outs to the.
sorry about what you had to go through
Sadly, you have to have gone through some insane trauma and the parents apply for it. They also have to limit the number of students they can see and the therapists are not allowed to speak/talk to students that aren't under their care. Even if they are traumatized as well. It's sad. Most of the most cases involve violence in the home, New Orleans misplacement, sexual abuse and death/shootings near the schools, or parents being removed from homes or jailed. I think it is insane that the therapists can't help the students that are there on a needed basis but I understand the restrictions. They are overstretched as is. And sadly, since my friend works there, most of the white women who get those jobs leave within 3-6 moths because they can't take it or they can't connect with the students. It's complicated.
But still I recognize it is exactly what I needed as a youth
.
wet landscapes
ghost
damn....what's it called?Sadly, you have to have gone through some insane trauma and the parents apply for it. They also have to limit the number of students they can see and the therapists are not allowed to speak/talk to students that aren't under their care. Even if they are traumatized as well. It's sad. Most of the most cases involve violence in the home, New Orleans misplacement, sexual abuse and death/shootings near the schools, or parents being removed from homes or jailed. I think it is insane that the therapists can't help the students that are there on a needed basis but I understand the restrictions. They are overstretched as is. And sadly, since my friend works there, most of the white women who get those jobs leave within 3-6 moths because they can't take it or they can't connect with the students. It's complicated.
But still I recognize it is exactly what I needed as a youth
do they accept volunteers?
Stop quoting me.
You're not capable of having a logical discussion, anything i say is trolling, therefore there is no debate to be had here.
idc how abusive a man is. impossible for him to hover over her 24/7. There is gonna be a time where she has 5 minutes alone to call the cops, tell them her address, and put down the phone. After that she'll have a restraining order. if he wants to try and play stalker games he'll go to jail for a long time.
Nobody can abuse you unless you allow yourself to be abused. Most women in abusive relationships enable their abusers. Be accountable for your own self preservation and stop expecting someone to save you all the time.
I would have to check on that. I know she is a certified clinician now.damn....what's it called?
do they accept volunteers?
wet landscapes
ghost
get the fukk out of here
Lets discuss violence against women.
You can't be serious breh.
Lets ignore the fact that most domestic violence victims enable their attackers.
Because bringing that up would be trolling. Then you wonder why men don't take you seriously?
Learn some accountability and stop acting like little kids. This is the real world nobodies gonna baby you. And if you haven't learned yet, you'll learn soon enough.