Let's Discuss: Between 40-60% of Black Women have been Sexually Abused before the Age of 18

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

How is your relationship with your brother? Do you guys ever talk about what happened? Does he know about the other times it happened to you?

First and last time we spoke about it I was 14 and he 15. He cried and apologized, even though I didn't hold it against him. It wasn't his fault. Our relationship is okay.
I've told him about the other times but he's not like my mom, in denial, he's more like 'I don't wanna believe it.' Again, I'm not holding it against him.

 

[agnosticlady]

I don't think I can watch the video but you're absolutely right. There needs to more education on sexual abuse and children need to know what to look for. It's sad that they have to be taught about such behavior because it robs them of their innocence but it's extremely important that they are made aware of what could happen at the hands of an adult.

It's crazy for me now. Ever since I learned about what has happened to other children including those in my family I don't trust anyone around my nieces and nephews or even my little brother. It's so easy for people to disguise their sickness and that makes it impossible to know who is capable of hurting a child.

I feel like if I ever become a mother I would be wayyy too overprotective.

I know that I would be over protective. I am supposed to go to Nigeria soon and I refuse to have certain family members escort me around because I don't trust them at all. I am sooooooo protevtive of my youngerbsiblings, especially the 5 year old. She loves everybody and thinks everyone is her friend. I am soo scared that someone in her class will tell her to come to the restroom and let them touch her. When I was in second grade a former friend tried to do that to me. She asked me to touch her genitals. She told me that she would watch her older sisters having sex. I remeber her trying to tell me about how her older sisters talk about the jelly from a mans penis and how they like when it goes down their throat. We were only 7 at the time.
I would definitely be protective. I would not trust anyone with my kids.
A lot of people think that parenting is just making sure your kids have good grades and are respectful, but there is so much more to that. I remeber my friend from high school telling me about his uncle molesting him when he was 7. It is definitely in the family or people you know.
Also as black people from all the globe a lot of us think that only white men, specifically older white men are pedophiles.

 

[Chelsea Bridge]

First and last time we spoke about it I was 14 and he 15. He cried and apologized, even though I didn't hold it against him. It wasn't his fault. Our relationship is okay.
I've told him about the other times but he's not like my mom, in denial, he's more like 'I don't wanna believe it.' Again, I'm not holding it against him.

You seem like you're in an understanding place in your life right now and are still continuing to try to have a relationship with the person who should have protected you.That shows your strong and forgiving nature and I hope that it continues and you find the peace you need to live a fulfilled life. I don't know if I would be capable of such forgiveness but it's good that you are trying to move on with your life. You're very inspiring and it's clear that you have a beautiful spirit

 

[agnosticlady]

babysitters are also something to look out for
my sister and I got molested and terrorized by some teenage viet bytch

Yep...if I get a baby sitter I see myself putting cameras throughout the house. I don't see myself taking my chikd to their house or a daycare. I am very paranoid about stuff like that.

 

[Chelsea Bridge]

I know that I would be over protective. I am supposed to go to Nigeria soon and I refuse to have certain family members escort me around because I don't trust them at all. I am sooooooo protevtive of my youngerbsiblings, especially the 5 year old. She loves everybody and thinks everyone is her friend. I am soo scared that someone in her class will tell her to come to the restroom and let them touch her. When I was in second grade a former friend tried to do that to me. She asked me to touch her genitals. She told me that she would watch her older sisters having sex. I remeber her trying to tell me about how her older sisters talk about the jelly from a mans penis and how they like when it goes down their throat. We were only 7 at the time.
I would definitely be protective. I would not trust anyone with my kids.
A lot of people think that parenting is just making sure your kids have good grades and are respectful, but there is so much more to that. I remeber my friend from high school telling me about his uncle molesting him when he was 7. It is definitely in the family or people you know.
Also as black people from all the globe a lot of us think that only white men, specifically older white men are pedophiles.

Very true. We need to realize that ANYBODY is capable of such behavior and sadly even other children .

 

[agnosticlady]

Great post. This though. I think a lot of people think this. I was watching oitnb and one of he characters was raped twice but she didn't think she was because they didn't jump on her and beat her half to death, she just says "she wasn't ready" and one of the girls in prison with her had to tell her that she was raped. Not all people that are raped fight their rapist back some freeze up and just let it happen, so the rapist doesn't have to hit them.

This is true. Some people go into shock when being raped and aren't able to fight back. Some people thinkbthat if the woman is sleeping then it is not rape. There is a lot that can be said on this topic.

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

You seem like you're in an understanding place in your life right now and are still continuing to try to have a relationship with the person who should have protected you.That shows your strong and forgiving nature and I hope that it continues and you find the peace you need to live a fulfilled life. I don't know if I would be capable of such forgiveness but it's good that you are trying to move on with your life. You're very inspiring and it's clear that you have a beautiful spirit

Thank you though to be completely honest, I don't think I'm a forgiving person. My biggest problem is how tight I hold on to grudges. I'm trying to learn how to let go, like I'm really trying but I just can't.
And I'm not trying to build a relationship with my mom. She's still trying to play the in denial parent even after all this time and because of that, I will never have a loving relationship with her even though I see she's trying. Do you know how ackward it is when we get off the phone and she ends the conversation with a 'I love you' & I can't nor will I say it because it would be a bold face lie? It's... troubling.

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

This is true. Some people go into shock when being raped and aren't able to fight back. Some people thinkbthat if the woman is sleeping then it is not rape. There is a lot that can be said on this topic.

That's how it happened..

 

[Chelsea Bridge]

Thank you though to be completely honest, I don't think I'm a forgiving person. My biggest problem is how tight I hold on to grudges. I'm trying to learn how to let go, like I'm really trying but I just can't.
And I'm not trying to build a relationship with my mom. She's still trying to play the in denial parent even after all this time and because of that, I will never have a loving relationship with her even though I see she's trying. Do you know how ackward it is when we get off the phone and she ends the conversation with a 'I love you' & I can't nor will I say it because it would be a bold face lie? It's... troubling.

Maybe it's the fact that you're still even willing to talk to her despite how she contributed to what happened to you and even blamed you for it. I commend you for even giving her that much. I don't know if I could do that.

 

[Slaimon Khan Shah]

This is sad stuff.

 

[reasonable_doubter]

We have a duty to protect children (male and female). The fact that this stat is so high is troubling. It's probably elevated for black male children as well. Access to help is a major issue. Black children are being "educated" in schools where they are being overly-punished and underestimated. That kind of environment doesn't breed trust for these children.Who are they supposed to turn to? In sexual abuse cases involving children especially the perpetrator is usually a relative or close family friend! That brings up the code of silence that seems to permeate many families as well. And on top of all of that people who are sexually abused often become abusers themselves. The issue is pervasive.

it is... black boys are the most sexually abused demographic in the u.s. ....... more than black girls..... and the abuse is coming from female family members, not male...... btw, this thread doesnt have a legit statistical source....

 

[feelosofer]

Black children in general don't report their sexual abuse out of shame. It really needs to be brought to the light.

 

[Mowgli]

I hate extrapolations