Ladies I need your help

[agnosticlady]

Be honest with her...Maybe she is not ready for a relationship and is willing to try the whole friends with benefit thing. Maybe she does want a relationship and would rather you not waste her time. Just be honest with her and see where it goes from there. Best of luck to you.

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Be honest with her...Maybe she is not ready for a relationship and is willing to try the whole friends with benefit thing. Maybe she does want a relationship and would rather you not waste her time. Just be honest with her and see where it goes from there. Best of luck to you.

Appreciate it

 

[CinnamonTequila]

OP.... If it was you in her shoes and her in yours... How would you like for her to handle the situation?

 

[Raava]

So ladies, I'm curious, What is he to be honest about?

Should tell someone he really likes that he kinda likes some other women as well even though nothing is serious between any of them? I'm all about being honest but at that point male or female it seems like you shooting yourself in the foot for no reason.


Its one thing if your exclusive or a title is involved.... or you know someone really is ready for a relationship and you just dragging them on, I mean that's a whole different story, but while your getting to know someone I don't understand why anyone would speak on anyone else they might be feeling. Of course there are levels, but at some point if there is no progress after one or the other person has stated they want more and your still casually dating that's on the person.


Do you ladies tell men that you are texting/dating or have hung out with that there are other men you text or date or are interested in? I'll probably never understand womens views on this.


As for the rest, I agree with what the ladies said about being honest. If your NO were ready to be her man and shes let you know she's ready and willing to take that next step then you should let her know, just casually let her know that while your not ready for anything serious just yet, you really like her and you will be eventually and that your not asking her to wait for you or stick around but your like her and hope that you can continue to get to know each other like you have been.

When I say be honest I mean let her know he isn't trying to be in a relationship and is dating but also say how he feels about her. She can do with that what she will. She may be cool with it and be in the same place but if she isn't...If its casual no I don't say anything but with this it seems like it's past casual. He isn't just casually texting her. At some point the difficult or awkward convo's need to happen.

Shoot yourself in the foot by if she isn't trying to deal with something like that so he can't have his cake and eat it too? He said in OP he wanted to keep her around and not commit so what is there not to be honest about? He should say nothing and a month or 2 from now she may hit him with the "What are we?", "I want a relationship." then to her it seems like he does a complete 180 when he says he isn't ready tho that have been talking and dating seemingly exclusively in her mind. Then he really shot himself if the foot. That's so selfish.

 

[BmoreGorilla]

OP.... If it was you in her shoes and her in yours... How would you like for her to handle the situation?

Id want her to be honest about her intentions. Knowing the situation Id completely understand if she wasn't ready for a relationship yet but Id also let her know Im not gonna wait forever.

 

[CinnamonTequila]

Id want her to be honest about her intentions. Knowing the situation Id completely understand if she wasn't ready for a relationship yet but Id also let her know Im not gonna wait forever.

U smart...

 

[The Mad Titan]

When I say be honest I mean let her know he isn't trying to be in a relationship and is dating but also say how he feels about her. She can do with that what she will. She may be cool with it and be in the same place but if she isn't...If its casual no I don't say anything but with this it seems like it's past casual. He isn't just casually texting her. At some point the difficult or awkward convo's need to happen.

Shoot yourself in the foot by if she isn't trying to deal with something like that so he can't have his cake and eat it too? He said in OP he wanted to keep her around and not commit so what is there not to be honest about? He should say nothing and a month or 2 from now she may hit him with the "What are we?", "I want a relationship." then to her it seems like he does a complete 180 when he says he isn't ready tho that have been talking and dating seemingly exclusively in her mind. Then he really shot himself if the foot. That's so selfish.

Yeah I dont disagree with that, I was more speaking on informing her that he likes more than just her. That doesn't need to be spoken on just yet if at all imo, outside of that I agree with everything else that is being said about being honest that he isn't ready. The whole shooting yourself in the foot was in reference to speaking about the other stuff when there is no need for it.



I always find these conversations interesting, she hasn't said that she wants a relationship yet but is giving clear hints ( or so B thinks) and he hasn't said he want's a relationship yet but is probably giving the same clear hints to her (or so she thinks)

To me if no one is saying anything I usually assume no one is ready. Assuming your in a relationship is like showing up to a store everyday and assuming your an a employee. When its time to cut checks you gonna look real assuming you was on the team. I honestly don't know how people that are ready for relationship never ask or ask months later and then are mad that the other person isn't/wasn't ready.


Its all to confusing for me I just like the upfront approach, but it seems like a lose/lose for us dudes that are ready for a relationship and have options. You tell a women your looking for a relationship early on and that means to them "with them" most and if you go a couple months getting to know them and it doesn't work out guess what.. your an a$$hole and you wasted her time anyway. Now she gonna take it as you selling her dreams.

Relationship stuff sucks. But I'm ready for one at some point, while still not feeling like I'm ready for one



good luck @BmoreGorilla dont go grey dealing with all those ladies and relationship goals lol.

 

[Raava]

Yeah I dont disagree with that, I was more speaking on informing her that he likes more than just her. That doesn't need to be spoken on just yet if at all imo, outside of that I agree with everything else that is being said about being honest that he isn't ready. The whole shooting yourself in the foot was in reference to speaking about the other stuff when there is no need for it.



I always find these conversations interesting, she hasn't said that she wants a relationship yet but is giving clear hints ( or so B thinks) and he hasn't said he want's a relationship yet but is probably giving the same clear hints to her (or so she thinks)

To me if no one is saying anything I usually assume no one is ready. Assuming your in a relationship is like showing up to a store everyday and assuming your an a employee. When its time to cut checks you gonna look real assuming you was on the team. I honestly don't know how people that are ready for relationship never ask or ask months later and then are mad that the other person isn't/wasn't ready.


Its all to confusing for me I just like the upfront approach, but it seems like a lose/lose for us dudes that are ready for a relationship and have options. You tell a women your looking for a relationship early on and that means to them "with them" most and if you go a couple months getting to know them and it doesn't work out guess what.. your an a$$hole and you wasted her time anyway. Now she gonna take it as you selling her dreams.

Relationship stuff sucks. But I'm ready for one at some point, while still not feeling like I'm ready for one



good luck @BmoreGorilla dont go grey dealing with all those ladies and relationship goals lol.

People assume things everyday B just like you assume if neither says anything they aren't ready.

There are people who if you act like you are in a relationship you are in one. There are some that after certain lines are crossed you are. I do believe no one should assume anything until it's talked about. These days people rather avoid difficult conversations because they don't want to lose.

With your grocery store analogy if you show up to the grocery store everyday, stocking food, slicing deli meat, checking people out, and bagging groceries why wouldn't someone assume you work there? People do relationship things then act shocked when the other person thinks it's going somewhere It works both ways.

 

[The Mad Titan]

People assume things everyday B just like you assume if neither says anything they aren't ready.

There are people who if you act like you are in a relationship you are in one. There are some that after certain lines are crossed you are. I do believe no one should assume anything until it's talked about. These days people rather avoid difficult conversations because they don't want to lose.

With your grocery store analogy if you show up to the grocery store everyday, stocking food, slicing deli meat, checking people out, and bagging groceries why wouldn't someone assume you work there. People do relationship things then act shocked when the other person thinks it's going somewhere Its works both ways.

Lol, yeah that's why I need the receipts before I assume anything otherwise you end up in situations like

Spoiler

 

[Raava]

Lol, yeah that's why I need the receipts before I assume anything otherwise you end up in situations like

Spoiler

 

[iBrowse]

People assume things everyday B just like you assume if neither says anything they aren't ready.

There are people who if you act like you are in a relationship you are in one. There are some that after certain lines are crossed you are. I do believe no one should assume anything until it's talked about. These days people rather avoid difficult conversations because they don't want to lose.

With your grocery store analogy if you show up to the grocery store everyday, stocking food, slicing deli meat, checking people out, and bagging groceries why wouldn't someone assume you work there? People do relationship things then act shocked when the other person thinks it's going somewhere It works both ways.

Yup...went out with me lady on our third date and was like "uh you know I like you and am going to be your bf right "
She was like "yeah but if you didn't say anything soon I was going to bounce"

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Yeah I dont disagree with that, I was more speaking on informing her that he likes more than just her. That doesn't need to be spoken on just yet if at all imo, outside of that I agree with everything else that is being said about being honest that he isn't ready. The whole shooting yourself in the foot was in reference to speaking about the other stuff when there is no need for it.



I always find these conversations interesting, she hasn't said that she wants a relationship yet but is giving clear hints ( or so B thinks) and he hasn't said he want's a relationship yet but is probably giving the same clear hints to her (or so she thinks)

To me if no one is saying anything I usually assume no one is ready. Assuming your in a relationship is like showing up to a store everyday and assuming your an a employee. When its time to cut checks you gonna look real assuming you was on the team. I honestly don't know how people that are ready for relationship never ask or ask months later and then are mad that the other person isn't/wasn't ready.


Its all to confusing for me I just like the upfront approach, but it seems like a lose/lose for us dudes that are ready for a relationship and have options. You tell a women your looking for a relationship early on and that means to them "with them" most and if you go a couple months getting to know them and it doesn't work out guess what.. your an a$$hole and you wasted her time anyway. Now she gonna take it as you selling her dreams.

Relationship stuff sucks. But I'm ready for one at some point, while still not feeling like I'm ready for one



good luck @BmoreGorilla dont go grey dealing with all those ladies and relationship goals lol.

I have no idea how to date breh Im just going with the flow. Women get territorial as hell with me for some reason

 

[Raava]

Yup...went out with me lady on our third date and was like "uh you know I like you and am going to be your bf right "
She was like "yeah but if you didn't say anything soon I was going to bounce"

That's do sweet and cute. See that turned out well. People want to act oblivious like they don't know what's going on lol.

I have no idea how to date breh Im just going with the flow. Women get territorial as hell with me for some reason

Yes who could possibly know the reason

 

[The Mad Titan]

I have no idea how to date breh Im just going with the flow. Women get territorial as hell with me for some reason

I dont have those problems.


Actually I do but I doubt its because of my looks

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Yes who could possibly know the reason

Im a good dude