Ladies, how would you feel about your highly intelligent 18-19 y/o daughter bringing home a 30 y/o?

[Blown Moon]

I spoke on this in another thread.

After seeing the couple together, it made sense, and I stopped thinking of buddy as a weirdo. They really do make a great couple, but I thought about if it was my daughter, and I don't think I'd be cool with it, no matter how great they seem together.

So again, you have a intellectually advanced, mature, 18-19 year old daughter, dating a 30 year old, whose just as smart as her, and successful. Do you protest, and try your best to break them up, or say fukk it, age is nothing, but a number?

 

[SouthernBelle]

I spoke on this in another thread.

After seeing the couple together, it made sense, and I stopped thinking of buddy as a weirdo. They really do make a great couple, but I thought about if it was my daughter, and I don't think I'd be cool with it, no matter how great they seem together.

So again, you have a intellectually advanced, mature, 18-19 year old daughter, dating a 30 year old, whose just as smart as her, and successful. Do you protest, and try your best to break them up, or say fukk it, age is nothing, but a number?

I wouldn't try to break them up, but I would be very much against it. I would encourage her to not get serious so young (I would do the same if she was dating someone her own age) and make sure she does NOT get pregnant.

Realistically speaking, she is just starting life and should enjoy her youth. A 30 year old has been there and done that and would likely try to stifle her development (18 year old are still developing physically and psychologically). I would give him the side eye because he is likely a controlling perv.

 

[The Mad Titan]

If its a legit good guy, id be mad happy for my kid. And even if they break up down the line the bar would be set so high for the next guy I wouldn't be worried about it all to much, in a relationship if they are traveling, enjoying time together going out maybe even having kids and she's potentially going to school or getting funds but aside and learning the in's and outs of a healthy relationship. More power to them...


I'd much rather than they some screw up bf every few months that might, break her heart, cheat, get her pregnant and have no means to take care of the kid or her dating around for years trying to find a go guy, and ending up with some warp sense of what a man should be.

 

[SouthernBelle]

If its a legit good guy, id be mad happy for my kid. And even if they break up down the line the bar would be set so high for the next guy I wouldn't be worried about it all to much, in a relationship if they are traveling, enjoying time together going out maybe even having kids and she's potentially going to school or getting funds but aside and learning the in's and outs of a healthy relationship. More power to them...


I'd much rather than they some screw up bf every few months that might, break her heart, cheat, get her pregnant and have no means to take care of the kid or her dating around for years trying to find a go guy, and ending up with some warp sense of what a man should be.

Not trying to argue your opinion, but I have a hard time believing that a 30 year old (man or woman) dating a 18 year old is a legit good "guy or woman."

Thinking back to all the older guys who tried to date/approach me when I was 18, they all seemed sleazy.

 

[Blown Moon]

I wouldn't try to break them up, but I would be very much against it. I would encourage her to not get serious so young (I would do the same if she was dating someone her own age) and make sure she does NOT get pregnant.

Realistically speaking, she is just starting life and should enjoy her youth. A 30 year old has been there and done that and would likely try to stifle her development (18 year old are still developing physically and psychologically). I would give him the side eye because he is likely a controlling perv.

I really see your point, and that's pretty much what I was thinking, if it was my daughter until

If its a legit good guy, id be mad happy for my kid. And even if they break up down the line the bar would be set so high for the next guy I wouldn't be worried about it all to much, in a relationship if they are traveling, enjoying time together going out maybe even having kids and she's potentially going to school or getting funds but aside and learning the in's and outs of a healthy relationship. More power to them...


I'd much rather than they some screw up bf every few months that might, break her heart, cheat, get her pregnant and have no means to take care of the kid or her dating around for years trying to find a go guy, and ending up with some warp sense of what a man should be.

I read this.

I didn't think about this way.

That might be a really good look.

If she's seen how a man acts at home with her father, and then her first serious relationship is with a real man. She'd be less likely to make mistakes down the line.

 

[The Mad Titan]

Not trying to argue your opinion, but I have a hard time believing that a 30 year old (man or woman) dating a 18 year old is a legit good "guy or woman."

Thinking back to all the older guys who tried to date/approach me when I was 18, they all seemed sleazy.

Nah I feel ya, I've seen it too.

I'm 33 now, and I can tell you now I'm in situations all the time where I'm around younger women probably almost more than women my age. It wouldn't have taken much for me to be in this situation if the stars would have aligned that way. And I'm a legit good guy and so are most of my homies. I find it hard to believe I'd run into an intelligent, mature 18 year old but its very possible.

Women probably arent in situations around younger men as much but us guys are with younger women, we go to the bar, eat, or whatever and there are usually younger women that are serving or bar tending, behind the counter, at the register. Its just really easy to run into younger women as males.

 

[The Mad Titan]

My ex fiance (who I'm just about 8 years older) told me recently that I ruined her when it comes to what to expect from a guy. I treated her with the utmost respect and like a queen (for all the good that did )


Now she's out trying to find a guy that will treat her with the respect, sternness and compassion that I did.


So yeah I wouldn't have a problem with it.... But not some scum bag tho

 

[SouthernBelle]

I really see your point, and that's pretty much what I was thinking, if it was my daughter until



I read this.

I didn't think about this way.

That might be a really good look.

If she's seen how a man acts at home with her father, and then her first serious relationship is with a real man. She'd be less likely to make mistakes down the line.

He did make a good point. There are instances where men are around women that young for legitimate reasons. I simply don't want my 18 year daughter with a man who has run through multiple women (even so called "good" guys do that) and is now ready to settle down. His goal would ultimately be to steal her youth (the best years of her life) now that he has lived his. No matter how mature an 18 year old may be, he/she is still 18 and will make youthful mistakes that their partner may have little patience for.

It's important to note that I would discourage my daughter from getting too serious with anyone of any age too early. 18 is too early (imo) for a serious relationship, especially with someone whose sole purpose is to probably try to mold her into the person that he wants her to be for his sexual and emotional wellbeing (instead of who she would naturally become without his influence). Statistically speaking, age gaps that large are more likely to end in divorce and I sure one of those reasons is because at some point the relationship become emotionally and psychologically stifling.

My opinion is also shaped by the fact that I was a teacher, I am still an educator. I mentor youth in that age group and I just think it's inappropriate in terms of disparity in life experiences, emotional baggage, and psychological development.

 

[Giselle]

@Bravo
I'm that age and I like older men too. 12 years older is the cut off age for me. Me and her father would probably have that age gap between us, so we both probably wouldn't be bothered by it.

 

[The Mad Titan]

@Bravo
I'm that age and I like older men too. 12 years older is the cut off age for me. Me and her father would probably have that age gap between us, so we both probably wouldn't be bothered by it.

*takes @Giselle on a date to a J cole concert*

 

[September]

My hypothetical daughter would hopefully be smarter than that. If a 30 year old 'smart and successful' man can't find someone close to his age, then there's something wrong with him no matter how you look at it. Life experiences are wayyyy separated. I don't care how mature she thinks she is. It's ridiculous IMO.

 

[okra]

i wouldnt mind because im probably gonna marry an older man :/

 

[wet landscapes]

I would tell that old dude to leave and tell my daughter that I'm disappointed

 

[Blackout]

My ex fiance (who I'm just about 8 years older) told me recently that I ruined her when it comes to what to expect from a guy. I treated her with the utmost respect and like a queen (for all the good that did )


Now she's out trying to find a guy that will treat her with the respect, sternness and compassion that I did.


So yeah I wouldn't have a problem with it.... But not some scum bag tho

My ex told me that too.

 

[The Mad Titan]

While I understand the logic that the idea of a older dude might be creepy to some, I dont understand the logic that a older dude is worst.

I'd want my kid to live there life and experience things sure, and I dont see how them being in a relationship with a older person stops that. Infact they should be able to experience far more far sooner than if they were with some knuckle head that hormones are raging and doesn't know what they want out of life themselves. Why would I want my daughter to have that experience? Just so she can say she lived it? As for what they have in common. Who knows...? I'd think nothing, as I can't related to most youngsta's on a deeper level. But If they do have somethings in common and get along like that, I'm not going to look at the man sideways. Older men should offer more solid experiences, especially nowadays where most the youth just wants to live and let die.

Its much more of a risk for the older guy to get invested in a younger woman anyway or if it was a younger man with a older woman same thing. It be much easier to smash and dash and be gone, so to stick around and try and be a bf or gf...I'm already respecting that... Your gonna have to be there through up swings and down swings of the early 20's as the man and that can be ruff.

I dont really find much reason to be disappointed in age difference. Its probably something that needs to happen more now really the way society is.