Another one of the funniest episodes is when Hank and Dale were arrested for crack possession (which they used as fishing bait). What Hank said to his lawyer when he tried to convince Hank into pleading as a user had me dying -
Lawyer:
Mr. Hill, this bass-fishing defense isn't going to cut it. Hmm... were you abused as a child?
Hank:
What? No!
Lawyer:
Are you sure? Juries eat that up.
Hank:
Maybe I oughta tie that long hair on your head to the short hairs on your ass and kick you down the street! I told you, I am not a doper!
Lawyer:
Come on, Mr. Hill, we've all used drugs, even the president.
Hank:
Not
my president -- I voted for Dole. Only thing he's on is painkillers, and he earned it.