Brehs, I am 34 years old but i look 18, almost as though I were in college. People tell me i look like a idris elba, but like twice as handsome, which i guess he is handsome, all men are ugly to me so i wouldn't know. Anyway, i had pulled up in the honda civic to the dunkin donuts i OWN and seen this middle-aged, balding guy trying to pull this big girl in a wheelchair out a van. It had one of those hydraulic lift things that let you get the chair in and out and he'd gotten her out and she was crying and making a scene about how she wasn't pretty enough to be seen in public, which she wasn't honestly. She was about 5'3, 250, like a prime Dwayne Johnson after he'd slimmed down to take on Hogan. She had on a burger king crown and we weren't near a burger king.
I took one look at this dude and knew he was a loser automatically, there was a 'i brake for squirrels' bumper sticker on the back of his wack-ass van and he had a lil zane album playing. Plus, his teeth were yellow as fukk. Also, he had breasts. He had a karate kid t-shirt on that had the crane kick position in a silhouette and it was sweat-stained beyond what you'd expect from someone just driving around. So i felt sorry for him and walked up and made up some shyt about how his girl looked good and her face lit up and dude got pissed as fukk but he dared not do shyt cause i look like a certified killer and am one. Then i vanished from his life forever, and he'll probably make a thread about me on a messageboard or some shyt lol, i don't give a fukk.