I didn't plan on participating in this thread but to go through the lipstickalley thread and see op's statement get stretched to fit so many different posters biases is pretty amusing
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As for the op, I kinda get it. The title of this thread is off-putting but to sum it up, you only care about opinions from other black people, and you have social anxiety, so it comes out doubly so with black women since attraction is now mixed in.I get it, because at the end of the day, I value black people the most so of course their opinions matter the most too ( speaking in general terms though, there are people from other races that I care about and what they think ). One thing to keep in mind though that I think might help you, is that a lot of social anxiety is wrapped in vanity and narcissism (to a degree), so you think you matter more to other people than you really do. That embarrassing interaction you had with someone that you think is gonna be lodged in the forefront of their mind, really isn't gonna be there at all, because that person might be thinking about bills due, a sick friend, a get together, etc, instead . At the end of the day, people won't give your actions that much thought, because they have their own lives and issues to tend to, complete with a cast of people they know, all taking up mental real estate. so go ahead and take a social risk; chances are, your actions won't be so extraordinary that you end up sticking out in someone's head, or chances are you'll be forgotten about quickly if you do. Plus, people might recognize your anxiety, empathize and then refrain from judging you altogether (Social anxiety is a lot more common than I think people would like to admit)! Another thing too, if you ever end up on a date sometime in the near future, or in a tense social situation, it might do you well to admit that you're nervous from jump; just a few words can help lift a tremendous weight off of your shoulders, because once you get that out, you don't feel like you have to "fake" anything else afterwards, since the other party has been braced for what's to come.
I wish you well op, whenever I lurk and see you're posts I get the feeling that you're a genuinely good dude, so I sincerely hope you can cope with your issues.
Edit: Also, sometimes when you think you're reading people, subconsciously you might be looking for signs to confirm your own biases instead( like looking for signs that people don't want to talk to you when you're in a conversation with them). You gotta practice getting out of your head and taking interactions at face value; If people don't wanna talk, place the onus on them to be obvious about it, rather than placing the burden of figuring it out on yourself.