The biggest mistake women make is thinking they can "spot train".. Lose that mentalitiy completely.
Your natural body is your natural body.
My advice is to train like a man. Women tend to want to avoid whats harder for them generally (and thats weight lifting).
I'm afraid of becoming too defined, AND becoming skinnier. Right now I'm flesh and grissle, but if I start working out everything will be smaller because muscle is smaller and tighter than fat.