"Don't Date Women With Kids"...

[murksiderock]

....I never ascribed to this mantra because I have kids, so it always sounded hypocritical. Like how does it sound for me to say that, when women could say the same thing about me? It doesn't make me a less viable man because I have kids...

But there was a hidden issue I never considered that I know all too well now. The problem with dating women with kids, I'm sure doesn't apply to all women, but a potential issue you run into is the inability or unwillingness to budge on balance in parenting...

I just broke up with my girlfriend of 14 months. She has her complaints for sure, I wasn't perfect these 14 months, but I've let her slide and get away with some dumb shyt for too long, and at this point of my life (I'll be 33 in June), as the saying goes, "when you know better, you do better"...

I know better, and finally acting like I do so I'm doing better. She brought two kids into the relationship, I brought two, then she insisted on having another. But I feel fukking liberated as fukk, I finally did the responsible thing and ended shyt before it gets worse!

Fellas, the biggest danger in dating a woman with kids is if her parenting views don't align with yours---->especially if you already have kids yourself! Have these conversations early early early in the dating process!

 

[BaggerofTea]

Wisdom from experience.

 

[AtomicUse]

I would say you can do better, but you have two kids and you’re only 33, so.

Might need to rethink playing the field.

 

[MikelArteta]

so do you miss her kids?

 

[RaspberryFitted]

The thing is this mantra is preached to men WITHOUT children, and it still stands.

a childless man and a mother have different priorities, responsibilities, and challenges they face. Vice versa with a father and a childless woman. Don’t get me started on the “legacy” topic surrounding dating people with children.

 

[rbksNgirbauds]

What type of nikka with kids would subscribe to that mantra to begin with? That's a fair trade.

Now if u ain't got no kids, u signing a losing contract , I don't care how u try to spin it

 

[Sterling Archer]

So it’s still “don’t date women with kids”.

 

[old pig]

Don’t get me started on the “legacy” topic surrounding dating people with children.

I know you said not to get you started but I don’t think I’m 100% certain what you mean by this

 

[murksiderock]

so do you miss her kids?

No! The breakup just happened tonight, but hell no! There's a part of me that cares about her sons, because their father isn't around. But nah, I ain't feeling them like that!

What type of nikka with kids would subscribe to that mantra to begin with? That's a fair trade.

Now if u ain't got no kids, u signing a losing contract , I don't care how u try to spin it

See I thought it was an even playing field too, because I'm bringing in kids too. But that's false, bruh! If yall can't strike an accord on parenting it's a foreshadowing of bigger issues to come...

Saying that to say, for men who DO have kids, part of the vetting process is finding out how your parenting beliefs and styles mesh. Not that everything is agreed upon, that's unrealistic. But yall have to share some commonalities on some key points, and if you don't, run the other way!

We had these conversations early, my mistake was overlooking the red flags for "potential". Don't do that!

I'd date another woman with kids but our parenting values have to line up in some big ways, even if we disagree on other stuff!

 

[O.iatlhawksfan]

I don’t date woman with kids and when I do they usually on some dumb shyt like “we’re a package deal anything you do for me you have to do for my child” and that’s not even getting into the drama with the BD

 

[rbksNgirbauds]

No! The breakup just happened tonight, but hell no! There's a part of me that cares about her sons, because their father isn't around. But nah, I ain't feeling them like that!



See I thought it was an even playing field too, because I'm bringing in kids too. But that's false, bruh! If yall can't strike an accord on parenting it's a foreshadowing of bigger issues to come...

Saying that to say, for men who DO have kids, part of the vetting process is finding out how your parenting beliefs and styles mesh. Not that everything is agreed upon, that's unrealistic. But yall have to share some commonalities on some key points, and if you don't, run the other way!

We had these conversations early, my mistake was overlooking the red flags for "potential". Don't do that!

I'd date another woman with kids but our parenting values have to line up in some big ways, even if we disagree on other stuff!

Ahh ok I see what you're saying. On the flip side, as a single father, is it hard to get women without kids to sign up for that role?

 

[Hater Eraser]

...

 

[MikelArteta]

No! The breakup just happened tonight, but hell no! There's a part of me that cares about her sons, because their father isn't around. But nah, I ain't feeling them like that!

 

[Hater Eraser]

She brought two kids into the relationship, I brought two, then she insisted on having another. But I feel fukking liberated as fukk, I finally did the responsible thing and ended shyt before it gets worse!

So yall have a baby together (5 all together) ? .. Is this your baby mama nikka ?

 

[RaspberryFitted]

I know you said not to get you started but I don’t think I’m 100% certain what you mean by this

The general argument about legacy is those children aren’t “yours”. Yes, you fathered them and guided them to become adults.. but they don’t share your blood or genes. When you look at them, you won’t see your dimples, you won’t see your mother’s eyes or your father’s hair, or your grandpa’s height or your grandma’s nose shape. ALSO, you run into the risk of getting hit with the “your not my real dad” line or the children wanting to reach out to their biological father.

that means a lot to some people and honestly, it’s the beauty of having sex with a woman you truly fukk with. Coming together as one to bring a human into this world that shares what we both are at a biological level is amazing.

To the people who don’t care about that and love their partner and want the best for that child.. salute to you. Me personally, I want a mini-me