Do women in the real world villainize men who are looking for casual sex?

[LeeDoubleLee]

i personally don't have an issue with it. i'd rather know the truth upfront than to find out i was being lied to the whole time. for the people who get offended, its usually because the assume that a man is implying that they aren't good enough to date, just good enough to f..k or too many guys have pitched the casual sex thing so they just assume men are being jerks.

the casual sex thing isn't really for me but i would really appreciate the honesty

 

[Arishok]

I'm trying to get casual sex from a guy right now but I hate being turned down

 

[:-)]

I guess it depends on the woman. I don't want casual sex at all. I want a commitment that will lead to marriage and children so I am protective of myself. But there are women out there who have no issue with cockin' open as my mother calls it lol.

 

[Rawtid]

Casual sex isn't the problem per se, but moreso how you go about obtaining its. If you're lying and pretending to want a relationship or you KNOW the chick wants more and you don't, then that's a problem. If you're honest and they know the deal then happy fukking.

 

[Neuromancer]

Spin thread idea.

 

[StickStickly]

Cool, I guess that's what I wanted to know. It's something that I never really experienced women make a fuss about, until the last 5-7 years reading web articles and in online forums.

I mean of course you have tons of women saying they aren't that type of lady, but I always assumed they respected the hustle because of the sizeable amount of women who are open to that.

But the harsh criticism of men that get for pursuing no strings attached sex, regardless of whether it's proposed in an honest upfront manner or not, is something I was not exposed to.

Women like sex, but I think there's a belief that you are not valued if a guy just wants to have sex with you and that's all, like that's all you're worth and if you don't view sex in the same way it can feel demeaning. So a guy telling you that you are just sex to him feels like he is taking away your personhood. If you like the guy, you feel like a cheap toy because you want to be valued for more than a body. You want him to actually like you. Some women view men's sexuality as very surface level- you can get off with your hand or a toy, by watching various women online, then why is asking for sex with me so special if your senses are set off by even a cartoon? It's not that women have to feel special. They just don't want to feel disposable.

When men and women realize that we often don't view sex in the same way, it can be hard notion to grasp. As much as I understand men's sexuality, one night stands would still be difficult for me to enjoy unless I was high or drunk and thus forced to feel something else. Otherwise it's as tantalizing as getting waxed and just doesn't compute. I have to reconceptualize what sex is just to understand where you are coming from. If a girl thinks like that, she may assume your base instincts to "fukk for fukking's sake" is primitive and not representative of you and that you don't have more to you or you don't want to share who you are.

So Demonizing men for wanting just sex is really just women interpreting sex from their world view instead of yours.

 

[YEAHitsHER]

I don't-simply because I rather a guy be honest with what he wants then to lead a girl on.

 

[Donald J Trump]

You can be upfront with females about only wanting one thing and they still gone demonize you might as well lie.

Just got rid of a stalker for 3+ years and I was upfront with her (we didnt have sex btw)

 

[Larry Lambo]

Women like sex, but I think there's a belief that you are not valued if a guy just wants to have sex with you and that's all, like that's all you're worth and if you don't view sex in the same way it can feel demeaning. So a guy telling you that you are just sex to him feels like he is taking away your personhood. If you like the guy, you feel like a cheap toy because you want to be valued for more than a body. You want him to actually like you. Some women view men's sexuality as very surface level- you can get off with your hand or a toy, by watching various women online, then why is asking for sex with me so special if your senses are set off by even a cartoon? It's not that women have to feel special. They just don't want to feel disposable.

When men and women realize that we often don't view sex in the same way, it can be hard notion to grasp. As much as I understand men's sexuality, one night stands would still be difficult for me to enjoy unless I was high or drunk and thus forced to feel something else. Otherwise it's as tantalizing as getting waxed and just doesn't compute. I have to reconceptualize what sex is just to understand where you are coming from. If a girl thinks like that, she may assume your base instincts to "fukk for fukking's sake" is primitive and not representative of you and that you don't have more to you or you don't want to share who you are.

So Demonizing men for wanting just sex is really just women interpreting sex from their world view instead of yours.

That's fair, but on the flip, most women are not fans of "relationships" that aren't leading to long term commitment and marriage either. They may say they are cool with something without that expectation but when you're a good dude, your money is right, you treat her well, and you lay the pipe down, wedding bells are going to ring.

So that leaves men in a position whether we are either looking for wifey, or looking for a jumpoff. I'd love the in between where I could be in monogamous, emotional, legit relationship with a woman without having the pressure of her wanting marriage, but it's not realistic for us..

This is why you have so many guys "sell the dream". They know they aren't going get serious with a girl, but they don't mind a relationship that is more than just sex. A woman can't see through his "BS" because he legitimately likes her as a person. It's just that the situation has a definite expiration date but he can't communicate that.

 

[MsReal]

Women like sex, but I think there's a belief that you are not valued if a guy just wants to have sex with you and that's all, like that's all you're worth and if you don't view sex in the same way it can feel demeaning. So a guy telling you that you are just sex to him feels like he is taking away your personhood. If you like the guy, you feel like a cheap toy because you want to be valued for more than a body. You want him to actually like you. Some women view men's sexuality as very surface level- you can get off with your hand or a toy, by watching various women online, then why is asking for sex with me so special if your senses are set off by even a cartoon? It's not that women have to feel special. They just don't want to feel disposable.

When men and women realize that we often don't view sex in the same way, it can be hard notion to grasp. As much as I understand men's sexuality, one night stands would still be difficult for me to enjoy unless I was high or drunk and thus forced to feel something else. Otherwise it's as tantalizing as getting waxed and just doesn't compute. I have to reconceptualize what sex is just to understand where you are coming from. If a girl thinks like that, she may assume your base instincts to "fukk for fukking's sake" is primitive and not representative of you and that you don't have more to you or you don't want to share who you are.

So Demonizing men for wanting just sex is really just women interpreting sex from their world view instead of yours.

Seriously this only happens when the chemistry is strong and the guy is someone you could see a future with.

Anyone else will get treated mean, keep them keen from most girls....

 

[StickStickly]

That's fair, but on the flip, most women are not fans of "relationships" that aren't leading to long term commitment and marriage either. They may say they are cool with something without that expectation but when you're a good dude, your money is right, you treat her well, and you lay the pipe down, wedding bells are going to ring.

So that leaves men in a position whether we are either looking for wifey, or looking for a jumpoff. I'd love the in between where I could be in monogamous, emotional, legit relationship with a woman without having the pressure of her wanting marriage, but it's not realistic for us..

This is why you have so many guys "sell the dream". They know they aren't going get serious with a girl, but they don't mind a relationship that is more than just sex. A woman can't see through his "BS" because he legitimately likes her as a person. It's just that the situation has a definite expiration date but he can't communicate that.

do your think that's hard to find nowadays the stories i hear form my single guy friends are all about one night stands or hook ups and fwb. these are the guys who are going on tinder though.

 

[Larry Lambo]

do your think that's hard to find nowadays the stories i hear form my single guy friends are all about one night stands or hook ups and fwb. these are the guys who are going on tinder though.

The situation I described is difficult to find, in terms of a woman being open to that and not switching up the flow later on.

It's much easier to find a woman willing to have casual sex, than to find one that is open to a monagamous dating type relationship but without the expectation of long term commitment.

I do think there are a portion of women that have given up on long term relationships that are probably open to it, but again you don't really know until you're in it, because a lot of women will change their mind as time progresses.

I feel like men have to be at extremes. EIther we look to marry you, or it's f**k buddies with no emotional connection. Nothing in between.

 

[StickStickly]

The situation I described is difficult to find, in terms of a woman being open to that and not switching up the flow later on.

It's much easier to find a woman willing to have casual sex, than to find one that is open to a monagamous dating type relationship but without the expectation of long term commitment.

I do think there are a portion of women that have given up on long term relationships that are probably open to it, but again you don't really know until you're in it, because a lot of women will change their mind as time progresses.

I feel like men have to be at extremes. EIther we look to marry you, or it's f**k buddies with no emotional connection. Nothing in between.

I guess in the situation of a monogamous relationship with no commitment in sight, that would be hard for many people to wrap their head around. Building a connection with someone with the possibility of losing them a few years down the line is a little scary. You would probably find a woman to do that for a short time, but anything over a year and your risking attachment

 

[Larry Lambo]

I guess in the situation of a monogamous relationship with no commitment in sight, that would be hard for many people to wrap their head around. Building a connection with someone with the possibility of losing them a few years down the line is a little scary. You would probably find a woman to do that for a short time, but anything over a year and your risking attachment

So would you agree that because of this, men that aren't really looking for a lifetime partner are pretty much forced to look for no-strings-attached casual sex?

 

[folasade]

1. Be honest
2. Be respectful
3. Be discreet

And you won't have to worry about being "villainized."

Pretty much.