Discuss: issues with your parents

[SeveroDrgnfli]

At this point in my life I'm just tolerating my parents. I don't really care about maintaining a good functioning relationship with them anymore. Once I stack and bounce...I'm gonna be gone for good.

It's wild parents don't recognize they've messed up communication so bad they're being tolerated and not heard. It's not the child's fault. Parents set the tone of the relationship from infancy.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

Throwing my family in the bushes was the best decision I ever had. Being able to move freely through life without dealing with unnecessary family fukkery just makes everything way more simple

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

"And when I see you I'll tell you what's been on my mind all those sleepless nights." Tonight reminds me why I used to do a lot of drugs. I don't sleep that much due to anxiety anyway. My anxiety gets out of control and I crave sugar and carbs. My roommates have been inviting me out so I know I'm in a down cycle. But I don't want to socialize or pretend to anymore. I just want to finish this work and school and maybe then I'll enough energy to have friends.

A conversation with someone takes a lot of self control for me to have. I have to think about everything from my facial expression to the words I'm using. Sometimes I see people and actually run away as fast as I can because I can't deal with them. Today I hid in the freezer for 20 minutes so I wouldn't cry, scream, or quit my job. I don't get angry I get anxious. And it's overwhelming.

People joke around about anxiety and depression but sometimes I don't leave my room for a solid week and I don't interact with anyone. Sometimes my roommates say they forget I live here because I'm quiet and rarely seen.

I really am a confident, social, and charming person when I'm comfortable. But I'm rarely comfortable. Thank God for my best friend. Without her I don't know what I'd do. I can be myself around her one hundred percent. People always tell me I'm so talented and charming but my attitude is bad and I seem noticably frustrated. Well you a$$holes, I have real anxiety, it's not a fukking joke, I don't bytch about it or expect special treatment. I just wish people would not yell at me and say positive things sometimes.

The last two people I was honest with about my thoughts started crying. Imagine how I fukking feel. I've been carrying this for 26 years. It only gets heavier and I feel like I slip further into isolation every year.

I've done it all alone so I know I can do it. Being adopted didn't make me soft. I knew from 7 years old I had to suck it up. I will never give these haters the pleasure of saying I snapped due to the pressure. That's what they want. I'll suffer in silence until I'm 105 just to rub in the fact I did it on my own and I didn't crack. I am tougher than tough times.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

I've been away from my mom for months now. She's tried to reel me back in with a few sob stories but I'm staying strong. I haven't had any liquor or blow in a long time. I'm proud of myself. I'm respecting myself more everyday. Lol its wild how much people hate me. I can sense it. I don't try to be an a$$hole. I just can't pretend to care about people who don't care whether I live or die.

Dating is hard as fukk. Since I've been trying to deal with my shyt I have to admit I have some serious issues with women. I just realized it. I don't trust any of them. I feel like they're gathering information to destroy me with later because that's all I've experienced with women my whole life. When they're mad their hatred of me is revealed and I can't believe I trusted and aligned myself some demonic whores.

I think my depression is coming back. I think this thought everyday and it sucks. I don't think a woman will ever love me for who I am because I'm a POS. All the women I've loved have done me the dirtiest and it really fukking hurt my feelings. I've had three moms and two very serious relationships. They said they loved me but clearly they didn't. I loved them all so much, I still do, because love is forgiveness.

I can't keep lowering my expectations. At this point I'd just like a girl to like me for me. No Games. No BS. She doesn't even have to love me. I don't need much other than an ear from time to time.

Anyway, I can't do it again. I can't allow myself to catch feelings again. I know I'll snap if I'm betrayed again. I act like I don't care, but I care about everything a lot. All I got is me, so when someone works their way into my life they should know it's like joining mob. I will kill, steal, and die for you no questions asked. All I ask is that you don't betray me or lie to me.

I was at work and started crying uncontrollably for like 20 minutes. I cried like little bytch. I didn't even know why I was crying. I just couldn't stop. I hid in the laundry room by the freezer so nobody would hear me crying like a bytch. It was pathetic and out of character. I felt relief after I cried though. I felt light and free.

My pent up emotions are starting to leak. It's not cool. I don't want to start taking drugs to numb myself but I gotta put a cap on this. I feel angry all the time. I feel like I'm looking for a reason to really hurt somebody. I do something really violent about once a year. I'm trying to change but people won't let me be nice. They always gotta come at me sideways. Then all my anger I've felt for 26 years comes out. And it's bad.

My brother will do shyt like drive a car through a garage. He's done it twice. I'm starting to see why he randomly explodes in anger. I can't sit on this anymore. I really want to do some blow. I could not feel this way very easily. A gram and half of blow is my magic dose. I feel nothing. My ego is in god mode and unfukkwittable in my own mind. It's better than feeling angry and vulnerable.

On the plus side I don't have violent fantasies anymore. I almost stuffed this bytch ass nikka in an oven though. This little Asian cat at work was talking slick. I imagined me opening the oven door and stuffing his little ass in there and broiling his bich ass.

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

"And when I see you I'll tell you what's been on my mind all those sleepless nights." Tonight reminds me why I used to do a lot of drugs. I don't sleep that much due to anxiety anyway. My anxiety gets out of control and I crave sugar and carbs. My roommates have been inviting me out so I know I'm in a down cycle. But I don't want to socialize or pretend to anymore. I just want to finish this work and school and maybe then I'll enough energy to have friends.

A conversation with someone takes a lot of self control for me to have. I have to think about everything from my facial expression to the words I'm using. Sometimes I see people and actually run away as fast as I can because I can't deal with them. Today I hid in the freezer for 20 minutes so I wouldn't cry, scream, or quit my job. I don't get angry I get anxious. And it's overwhelming.

People joke around about anxiety and depression but sometimes I don't leave my room for a solid week and I don't interact with anyone. Sometimes my roommates say they forget I live here because I'm quiet and rarely seen.

I really am a confident, social, and charming person when I'm comfortable. But I'm rarely comfortable. Thank God for my best friend. Without her I don't know what I'd do. I can be myself around her one hundred percent. People always tell me I'm so talented and charming but my attitude is bad and I seem noticably frustrated. Well you a$$holes, I have real anxiety, it's not a fukking joke, I don't bytch about it or expect special treatment. I just wish people would not yell at me and say positive things sometimes.

The last two people I was honest with about my thoughts started crying. Imagine how I fukking feel. I've been carrying this for 26 years. It only gets heavier and I feel like I slip further into isolation every year.

I've done it all alone so I know I can do it. Being adopted didn't make me soft. I knew from 7 years old I had to suck it up. I will never give these haters the pleasure of saying I snapped due to the pressure. That's what they want. I'll suffer in silence until I'm 105 just to rub in the fact I did it on my own and I didn't crack. I am tougher than tough times.

I've been away from my mom for months now. She's tried to reel me back in with a few sob stories but I'm staying strong. I haven't had any liquor or blow in a long time. I'm proud of myself. I'm respecting myself more everyday. Lol its wild how much people hate me. I can sense it. I don't try to be an a$$hole. I just can't pretend to care about people who don't care whether I live or die.

Dating is hard as fukk. Since I've been trying to deal with my shyt I have to admit I have some serious issues with women. I just realized it. I don't trust any of them. I feel like they're gathering information to destroy me with later because that's all I've experienced with women my whole life. When they're mad their hatred of me is revealed and I can't believe I trusted and aligned myself some demonic whores.

I think my depression is coming back. I think this thought everyday and it sucks. I don't think a woman will ever love me for who I am because I'm a POS. All the women I've loved have done me the dirtiest and it really fukking hurt my feelings. I've had three moms and two very serious relationships. They said they loved me but clearly they didn't. I loved them all so much, I still do, because love is forgiveness.

I can't keep lowering my expectations. At this point I'd just like a girl to like me for me. No Games. No BS. She doesn't even have to love me. I don't need much other than an ear from time to time.

Anyway, I can't do it again. I can't allow myself to catch feelings again. I know I'll snap if I'm betrayed again. I act like I don't care, but I care about everything a lot. All I got is me, so when someone works their way into my life they should know it's like joining mob. I will kill, steal, and die for you no questions asked. All I ask is that you don't betray me or lie to me.

I was at work and started crying uncontrollably for like 20 minutes. I cried like little bytch. I didn't even know why I was crying. I just couldn't stop. I hid in the laundry room by the freezer so nobody would hear me crying like a bytch. It was pathetic and out of character. I felt relief after I cried though. I felt light and free.

My pent up emotions are starting to leak. It's not cool. I don't want to start taking drugs to numb myself but I gotta put a cap on this. I feel angry all the time. I feel like I'm looking for a reason to really hurt somebody. I do something really violent about once a year. I'm trying to change but people won't let me be nice. They always gotta come at me sideways. Then all my anger I've felt for 26 years comes out. And it's bad.

My brother will do shyt like drive a car through a garage. He's done it twice. I'm starting to see why he randomly explodes in anger. I can't sit on this anymore. I really want to do some blow. I could not feel this way very easily. A gram and half of blow is my magic dose. I feel nothing. My ego is in god mode and unfukkwittable in my own mind. It's better than feeling angry and vulnerable.

On the plus side I don't have violent fantasies anymore. I almost stuffed this bytch ass nikka in an oven though. This little Asian cat at work was talking slick. I imagined me opening the oven door and stuffing his little ass in there and broiling his bich ass.

Stay strong man. I salute you for going through this. There's not a lot of people who would've been able to make it tbrough.

Real salute man

You got a good heart man. Real respect.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

Stay strong man. I salute you for going through this. There's not a lot of people who would've been able to make it tbrough.

Real salute man

You got a good heart man. Real respect.

I just know I have go face my demons and be honest. Lol its embarrassing and humbling. But when I'm on the other side of darkness it feels nice to have less baggage. I know I can do this. I just have to speak on my feelings somewhere. I can't internalize all this evil shyt.

 

[Made Myself A Boss]

@Still Ill FC U need to find other alternatives to try and control your emojis than blow.. That shyt will eat your brain away little by little.. Ask Whitney Houston..

Try working out, weight lifting, long distance running or something like that

 

[CinnaSlim]

Yoga, meditation, art, physical activity, hiking, swimming, journaling, etc.

You really have to get deep down and explore type emotions and what caused them and how to handle them. Challenge yourself, sometimes the only way out is through.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

"I'll never need anyone." "Mom, one day you're going to need me, and you're going to regret being so mean to me because I won't come. You'll be alone because you push everyone away."

She said that day would never come. I knew it'd come at the worst time. I'm finally getting healthy and of course my mom decides to be an old woman. She's damn near blind. So I've been helping her multiple times a week. She wants me to move in with her.

It's just fukked up. For once in my life I'm less sad than I usually am. I've been on my own for over a year. No friends. No girls. Just me. It's been good for me. Now I'm being pulled back into a world that killed me.

I will never forget her telling me I'd never be shyt. And nobody cares about me. I will never forgive her. I can't forget all the abuse. I think about it all the time. Now she's telling me she loves me all the time and acting like my brother hasn't tried to murder me twice.

The mighty have fallen. My brother ended up being a failure. So now she wants to act like she believed in me from jump street. She's a fukking liar.

I tried to suggest her using city services so I don't have to keep getting involved. I'm too sensitive to be involved in this shyt. I could kill myself any day for the slightest reason. I just don't give a fukk. And being around my family triggers all my shyt.

Sitting in a room I grew up in triggers my shyt. Looking at someone who tried to kill me twice triggers my shyt. I feel like she waits until I don't need her at all. Then she pulls the helpless card to reel me back in.

I'm a fukking sweet heart. I was alienated and viciously bullied as a child so I cannot see people struggle. I know what it's like to have nothing and nobody. Hopeless and alone. I've been there. It hurts a lot. So yeah, I can't walk away from somebody in that position. It's not right.

I'm trying to be positive and condition our relationship to be healthy. But my mom doesn't change. I'm not that kid anymore. At least I don't want to be. But I feel that kid taking over.

I really want to do lots of drugs and have lots of sex.

I was driving with my family and I had to resist the urge to drive the car into on coming traffic. Might as well kill all of us in one go. My brother is a waste of organs. I have no value in the world. And my mom has a hard lonely life. I feel for her, I really do.

 

[Therht]

I'm finally getting healthy and of course my mom decides to be an old woman. She's damn near blind.

 

[FaygoMI]

"I'll never need anyone." "Mom, one day you're going to need me, and you're going to regret being so mean to me because I won't come. You'll be alone because you push everyone away."

She said that day would never come. I knew it'd come at the worst time. I'm finally getting healthy and of course my mom decides to be an old woman. She's damn near blind. So I've been helping her multiple times a week. She wants me to move in with her.

It's just fukked up. For once in my life I'm less sad than I usually am. I've been on my own for over a year. No friends. No girls. Just me. It's been good for me. Now I'm being pulled back into a world that killed me.

I will never forget her telling me I'd never be shyt. And nobody cares about me. I will never forgive her. I can't forget all the abuse. I think about it all the time. Now she's telling me she loves me all the time and acting like my brother hasn't tried to murder me twice.

The mighty have fallen. My brother ended up being a failure. So now she wants to act like she believed in me from jump street. She's a fukking liar.

I tried to suggest her using city services so I don't have to keep getting involved. I'm too sensitive to be involved in this shyt. I could kill myself any day for the slightest reason. I just don't give a fukk. And being around my family triggers all my shyt.

Sitting in a room I grew up in triggers my shyt. Looking at someone who tried to kill me twice triggers my shyt. I feel like she waits until I don't need her at all. Then she pulls the helpless card to reel me back in.

I'm a fukking sweet heart. I was alienated and viciously bullied as a child so I cannot see people struggle. I know what it's like to have nothing and nobody. Hopeless and alone. I've been there. It hurts a lot. So yeah, I can't walk away from somebody in that position. It's not right.

I'm trying to be positive and condition our relationship to be healthy. But my mom doesn't change. I'm not that kid anymore. At least I don't want to be. But I feel that kid taking over.

I really want to do lots of drugs and have lots of sex.

I was driving with my family and I had to resist the urge to drive the car into on coming traffic. Might as well kill all of us in one go. My brother is a waste of organs. I have no value in the world. And my mom has a hard lonely life. I feel for her, I really do.

You need to get some help my guy. Don't be too prideful.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

You need to get some help my guy. Don't be too prideful.

I have help thats why I'm able to speak candidly about myself. I don't pretend my life is rosey. And I actively work towards improving it everyday.

 

[CashmereThoughts]

My dads gambling problem is so severe that its destructive and I can't fukk with him!

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

So many issues. There's isn't enough therapy in the world.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

I was raised by a single mom and her sisters. shyt was wild. I remember sincerely hating my mom and my brother. I remember giving them looks that I hoped would cause them to burst into flames.

My mom adores my older brother. She told me in sixth grade she couldn't imagine me as an adult but she could imagine my brother as an adult. Id bring home straight A's and she didn't care. My brother didn't graduate high school and she gets excited about anything he does.

I remember graduating high school with honors and seeing all the families with signs for their kids and they got gifts and parties. I didn't even get a congratulations. I over achieved all of my life hoping my mom would say she's proud of me or approve of me. She never did.

My mom gave me a lot of gifts. I appreciate my education very much. But, I'm never satisfied with myself and it's been destructive in my life. I used to think I was fat. Even though I wasn't. I pushed my body to weigh 142 lbs, I'm 5'10 I was passing out all the time. My mom used to tell me I was fat.

My mom calls me to talk about my brother. It's never about me. It's always about him. I remember I was planning to have a baby. My girl was pregnant. We were so excited. I called my mom to tell her and she kept talking about my brother. So I never did. She lost the pregnancy. I wish I could have talked to my mom but again, it's never about me.

My brother tried to stab me to death with a knife. He's a lot bigger than me. I remember seeing blood on the wall and thinking he got me. I was screaming for my mom to call the cops and she didn't. I had to beat this man unconscious.

I still have a stab wound in my hand from where I blocked the knife with my palm. She was more concerned about the broken toilet and shower door he destroyed tossing me through them. Maybe it's because I'm adopted.

- I love My Mom

You have a much bigger heart than me. I would have disowned both of them negroes years back.
I had a closely related life story, but it was my sister that got all the breaks.
I keep them all at an arms length nowadays and most of my family I don't even talk to anymore.

I'm not accepting shytty relationships from anyone.
Period.