Toe Jay Simpson
Searchin’
nikkas done threw me off my Maze
DC police search for ATL resident who sodomized himself with a cucumber
- Thread starter Brolic
- Start date
huhMoshpitMazi
Moshpit Gxng/ Anti Fash
Oh so fake news??Corny.. DC is a whole 600 miles away from here.. where does it say this deviant was from Atlanta or is that OP trying to be "cute"?
Mane.
Neg smh.
Making Atlanta look crazy
AYO ATL come get ya man's
Nah not really. DC is right behind ATL
DC was the original “gay-TL” before the pride parades found a new home in east midtown. This Mephistophelian motherfukker is right at home.
D.C. Police Searching for Man Who Sodomized Himself with a Cucumber
Home security footage reveals why a Truxton Circle resident found bits of cucumber in the grill of her Nissan.washingtoncitypaper.com
A man with a plan.
The video Catherine Baker posted on Reddit this week is very clear. You could even say crisp.
It begins with a man in a blue shirt slipping through a hole in the rear fence of her Truxton Circle home (she says a driver crashed a stolen car into it last week). He holds a cigarette in his mouth and what appears to be a lunch box in his hand.
From the lunch box the man pulls out what looks to many viewers to be a cucumber (it’s certainly green and phallic-shaped) and proceeds to mosey to the front of Baker’s silver Nissan parked in her driveway.
The man then appears to affix the—let’s just call it a cucumber—to the car’s grill, pulls down his pants, spits in his hand, and—there is really no other way to say this—sodomizes himself. Then he lights the cig.
At one point, a car drives through the alley, and the man pauses. When the coast is clear, he saunters back to the hole in the fence, extinguishes his heater, and continues … ahem.
When he’s done, the man returns the cucumber to his lunch box and exits the premises through the gap from which he came.
Baker says she noticed the traces of cucumber on her car when she returned home and then checked her security camera footage. Not exactly the fruit basket she was expecting.
She says she only moved to Truxton Circle two months ago. Between the busted fence and the Case of the Cucumber Sodomy, it’s been a wild ride. She posted the video online Monday, and it obviously went viral.
There is not a "PAUSE." strong enough to cancel out his violation of the Official Code Of Harlem.
That’s some of the gayest sh*t I’ve ever read.
Youngblood Priest
Atl baby
The fukk this has to do with Atlanta?
Nero Christ
Sniper out now on all digital platforms brev
this fruit out here like
Womb Raider
movin' thru the city streets
This smiley kills me every fukking time
this fruit out here like
Imagine finding cucumber crumbs on your car cuz someone was culo blasting themselves for camsoda
lochead
All Star
My hometown down bad as fuc right now 
TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?
I walk around a little edgy already
My city is a wild place
I was coming here to clown for watching the whole thing before looking at your username
My hometown down bad as fuc right now
Muriel Bowser gentrifying dyke ass made it the gayest city in America….
I minus well move back to Maryland, the DC we all knew and loved is mostly dead…
