Essential Coli-members what's the last thing you watched?

stro

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Coming off of Goldeneye, I'm shocked at how incredibly bland this was. :picard:

Someone's trying to play 2 international superpowers against each other to spark WWIII...2 potential Bond girls and the one that makes the most sense gets killed early on...3rd time I've seen this movie at this point.


:gucci:Tomorrow Never Dies is easily the best Bronson movie. The bike chase alone is better than the rest of his run combined. Michelle Yeoh was awesome, and the plot is one of the more believable super villain plots that actually is more pertinent today than it was when it was made.




I've been raiding my library's foreign bluray section this year, so over the past week I watched a series of movies from different parts of the world, but still quite connected.


First up was

Bicycle Thieves (1948)

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A seminal classic of Italian film, and specifically the Italian neorealism movement, this was the original topper of Sight & Sound's greatest movie of all time list in 1952, and is still in the top 50 as of their most recent rankings in 2012. It focuses on a father's struggle to support his family in post-WWII Rome after a bicycle required for his job was stolen. Most of the movie is then wandering around Rome on a mission to get the bike back. Everything is shot on location, almost all of the actors were either amateur actors or not actors at all, it uses natural lighting, and is a pretty bleak portrayal of contemporary life in Italy where people were pawning their bed sheets to make ends meet. It's one of those things where it's kind of hard to judge it for what it is, because its stylistic influence has been so pervasive over 70 years that it's easy to overlook this as just another one of those kind of movies. Kind of the same way people react to seeing Citizen Kane for the first time today.

I followed this up, coincidentally, with the Apu Trilogy, whose director
Satyajit Ray claimed Bicycle Thieves as a big influence on his work, and Italian neorealism was the inspiration for the Indian Parallel Cinema movement.

Pather Panchali (1955)

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The first in the trilogy based on the semi-autobiographical works of Bibhutibhushan Bandyopadhyay, much like Bicycle Thieves, this was shot with next to no budget in real locations with mostly amateur or first time actors. While the movies are known as the Apu Trilogy, to me this and the next movie are really about Apu's mother, Sarbajaya. In this movie, Apu isn't even born for the first act, and the rest of the time he's just a small child who has no real character, he just runs around observing the older characters. I was drawn to Sarbajaya's situation, and the film seems to always come back to her as well: Poor as shyt in her husband's ancestral village, her husband is a fukking loser who does nothing at home and doesn't seem to be doing much of anything to support the family (he eventually just straight up leaves for 5 months looking for a better job, but doesn't even tell his wife ahead of time, he just leaves her a note and the family of course falls even deeper into debt), she's also housing either her or her husband's old as fukk aunt who constantly steals from them and lies and teaches their daughter to do the same thing which impacts Sarbajaya's standing in the village as a result. Then she gets pregnant and has Apu, so now she's got an extra mouth to feed, she's always tired, always stressed out, loving but not doting, she defends her kids but they also really piss her off sometimes. She's a deeper and more complex female character than most anything you see in 2019, and this is an Indian movie from 1955. There's really not much of a plot, it just follows the lives of a family in a tiny, poor village in rural Bengal.


Aparajito 1956

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Despite coming right after Panther, this is a huge step up in terms of film making from Ray. His grasp on the visual language of film has expanded exponentially, there's an actual plot, and this is the true classic to me. At the end of Panther, just as the father returns to the family, the daughter dies. The family then moves to Varanasi, still poor, but doing better as the father is having some success as a priest in the bigger city. However, shortly after he dies as well, leaving Sarbajaya once again on her own to raise Apu, now in a city with no support system. They eventually have to move back to Bengal to live with an older relative of hers, and young Apu begins training to be a priest as well. However, he decides he wants to go to school and it turns out that he's a gifted student, and after that he becomes an actual character as his mind expands. The second half of the movie has a time jump as Apu is about to head off to college in Calcutta, three hours away, and the strife it causes between he and his mother. Once again, to me, Sarbajaya is the main character, and this movie perfectly captures that awkwardness, sadness, and resentment of your kids moving away and leaving you behind, and the conflict of when you try to come back home after experiencing freedom. In the end, Apu gets increasingly lazy about his visits and writing and comes back to find his mother died alone and heartbroken her son had left her behind. This is the best of the trilogy for sure, and I'm really amazed that the character of Sarbajaya isn't held up as feminist icon in cinema.

Apur Sansar (1959)

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This wasn't a planned sequel and only came after a few years of people asking Ray if he was going to make another. He decided to and it was met with the same acclaim as the previous two, but I think it's easily the worst of the trilogy and might even be the first example of the 3rd movie in a trilogy always being the worst. Another time jump sees Apu post graduation, but unable to find steady work. He's months behind on his rent, yet trash talks his landlord about it. He wants to be a writer like his father wanted to be and so begins work on a mostly autobiographical novel, but never gets around to finishing it. Through a series of silly events, he ends up married to a rich girl, but resents her being rich and thinks she resents him being poor. She gets pregnant and spends the last 2 months of her pregnancy with her family, but dies during childbirth. This sends Apu into a deep depression and he wanders around India with his beard of despair, throwing away the novel he had been working on, and it takes him FIVE fukkING YEARS to go see his son for the first time. It turns out Apu grows up to be a mooch, who takes no responsibility for anything his entire life. He lets his mom die alone because he's too lazy to go see her. His wife dies during birth and he doesn't even know about it because he was too lazy to write and go visit her like he promised. He had free rent in school, he's not paying his rent as an adult and taunts the landlord about it. He lets someone else raise his son. It's a very unsatisfying conclusion, even though the trilogy ends with Apu essentially kidnapping his son to start a new life. He grew up to be such an unlikable, lazy, freeloading a$$hole that it almost taints the previous movies to me.


Honestly I'd skip The World of Apu. It wasn't intended to be made in the first place, and as such it feels like a late addition without much thought put into it. The first two movies, especially the second, are should/must sees if you're a cinephile and care about the history of film. This last one is X-Men The Last Stand tier.
 

TheGodling

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What the hell @stro? So you not only do in-depth reviews of old school wrasslin' matches, but also have been seen sitting on in-depth reviews of classic foreign cinema all this time? :dwillhuh:
 

Zero

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I'll be honest, I was led to believe this was one of the worst ones, but it honestly isn't THAT bad. In fact, I thought the first half was pretty good....but it definitely fell apart after the reveal.

And it must be said, Denise Richard's titties :whoo:
 
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Zero

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Woo.....you talk about terrible :scust:

First off, Madonna's theme is :trash:, both Halle Berry's acting and character add absolutely nothing to the film, and this one ended up siller than Roger Moore's worst at times.

An invisible car? :mindblown:

Penguin's Iceberg Lounge from Batman? :gucci:

The Nintendo Power glove that doubles as a glorified taser? :mjlol:

Bond quips were always corny but they had a certain charm to them. This film? Just terrible...and they're relentless :hhh:

Go out on a bad note brehs
 

Zero

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:gucci:Tomorrow Never Dies is easily the best Bronson movie. The bike chase alone is better than the rest of his run combined. Michelle Yeoh was awesome, and the plot is one of the more believable super villain plots that actually is more pertinent today than it was when it was made.
It's not a bad movie, it's just completely unremarkable. At it's core, it's just a rehash of The Spy Who Loved Me, which was a rehash of You Only Live Twice itself. You're right in that the media manipulation plot is more relevant today than back then, but it just fell flat here. :yeshrug:
 

stro

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What the hell @stro? So you not only do in-depth reviews of old school wrasslin' matches, but also have been seen sitting on in-depth reviews of classic foreign cinema all this time? :dwillhuh:

I'm keeping a spreadsheet of the movies I've watched this year, so far I'm up to 46, 19 of which are non-American, but a few of those are Bond movie rewatches and I don't really count those as "foreign" cinema.
 

stro

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Woo.....you talk about terrible :scust:

First off, Madonna's theme is :trash:, both Halle Berry's acting and character add absolutely nothing to the film, and this one ended up siller than Roger Moore's worst at times.

An invisible car? :mindblown:

Penguin's Iceberg Lounge from Batman? :gucci:

The Nintendo Power glove that doubles as a glorified taser? :mjlol:

Bond quips were always corny but they had a certain charm to them. This film? Just terrible...and they're relentless :hhh:

Go out on a bad note brehs

DAD is fukking terrible, but The World Is Not Enough might be worse, tbh. Die Another Day is definitely more entertaining in a :mjlol::picard: kind of way, the only good thing about TWINE is Sophie Marceau. Everything else is stupid in a stupid way instead of :russ: way. Got that great linen suit, though :blessed:. The Brosnan era as a whole is a massive disappointment. Dalton should have got another movie. The other day I was watching The Hunt For Red October and thought about how amazing a 3rd Dalton movie with Connery bumped up to M being an absolute dismissive c*nt to Dalton in true Bernard Lee fashion could have been. :wow:
 

stro

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Ingmar Bergman was a fukkin weirdo, brehs. I don't think there's any other word for him. This is a dude who set the standard for existentialism and nihilism in cinema, was a big fan of Hitler in his youth, grew up with a violent and abusive father and cold mother, was obsessed and terrified with death, yet also really loved the shyt out of the Ocean's Eleven remake. It's also possible he lied about most of his early life. :skip: I don't think the background of filmmakers is always important to the movies their making. For instance, no one gives a shyt about the life story of whatever director for whatever DC/Marvel movie is 3rd in the line up this year. But I think it's pretty important for the movies Bergman was making, so I thought I'd touch on it a bit before I get into the movies I've watched this year. He was a weird dude with an obsession with death (but not the macabre), full of existential angst, and had a real beef with God for a while.

The Seventh Seal (1957)
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Forever ranked as one of the GOATs, this focuses on a disillusioned knight and his overtly nihilistic squire returning from the Crusades only to find a Sweden that has been hit hard with the plague. Death comes for Antonius, but Antonius challenges Death to a game of chess to stall his impending death, hoping to perform one meaningful deed in his time left. Death is a pretty chill dude and agrees to the game. Much of the movie is Antonius trying to find any sign that God is real, or even the Devil, and monologing about how cruel it is to have faith. It's not as dour as it sounds, as there are moments of humor, and in general the tone is more bittersweet than outright bleak. Everyone plays a chess game with Death, and everyone loses, the "joke" is playing the game at all. This whole movie and particularly playing chess with Death has been parodied a million times, probably most famously by Bill and Ted, and in general this is kind of the defining arthouse auteur foreign film. I think it's a little overstated in that regard, it is a very good movie, but it's not even the most art house movie Bergman made.

Persona (1966)
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THIS is the defining pretentious art house auteur foreign CINEMA film, imo. In fact, I'd go so far as to say this is such the defining and establishing movie of the genre that it almost feels like a parody at times because it's look and feel has been ripped off so many times. This starts and ends with what would accurately be described as try hard film student weirdness, seemingly weird for the sake of weird nonsense and 4th wall breaking. The movie focuses on a stage actress who suddenly goes mute and refuses to speak again, and the nurse tasked to care for her. From there, the two start to merge personalities until you're left wondering if they were two sides to the same person all along. It's very heavy on Jungian psychology, heavy topics (especially in its time) like abortion, lesbianism, rejection of motherhood, gender roles and sexuality, narcissism, depression, psychosis, and other shyt. It's not something you can just kind of casually get into, you really have to sit down and think about it before you can talk about what you get out of it, but it will stick with you for a while and make you think about a lot of shyt. Truly one of the GOATs. It's engrossing and griping, weird, but with this dreamlike quality that keeps you sucked in the whole time.


I gotta get to Wild Strawberries one of these days.
 
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